Da Dingo Dizmal Digest ,Rantings of a mad Texican Clown

THE END

2011-04-26T01:06:00.000-07:00

This blog is over the new one starts here (click)
The golden age of dizmal

you can Twitter me up or find me on the Facebook if you need me.
Here is wHAT I HAVE i BEEN UP TO?
Entertaining the people, delighting the crowds making the children laugh. I have maintained at least two kid gigs a week but mostly more. We make zines and crayons, do maintenance work for a company and do open mic shows, rock videos, commercials and circus shows. I worked a long time to be able to scrape out a living as a clown in the town I love.

Tue. Open Mic!!!!click image

2011-04-24T09:57:00.000-07:00

And then come back Wed. with the kids for Dingo's story time and Olive Balloons! Wed. 10am!

Wow I have quite a few kid gigs these days.Click photos to see full pics.

2011-04-24T09:46:00.000-07:00

This is from The HooHaa on a student run organic farm near Corvallis OR. The Oregon State U hired my to co host the event and Olive to do balloons. Find me on Facebook for details about all the gigs.

2011-04-09T19:40:00.001-07:00

Brick Break!

2011-04-01T01:40:00.000-07:00

Coloring book T shirts!!!!!!!!!!!!!click here

2011-03-30T21:11:00.000-07:00

Phantom Chicken is working with Dingo and Olive and will be taking pre-orders for this limited edition print run until April 13, 2011.

By pre-ordering you can choose your favorite shirt styles, colors, and sizes... like getting a custom shirt with this fantastic art on it.

We will be printing these shirts on April 15, 2011 and then we'll ship them priority mail to wherever you are.

here is a first...

2011-03-29T01:32:00.000-07:00

Tonight I made a complicated order in a catalog. I ordered lots of items involving me writing the numbers of the individual items. Then I email the numbers and they bring me the merchandise. I have a business license and it's pretty common actually.
BUT!!! The crazy first time experience is....drum roll.
I'm in the catalog that I'm reading over and over in photos and there is a cartoon of me on the cover!!!!!
It's pay for a modeling gig and the face on the cover part is because we made fast friends with the crew.
We will be selling bike lights that you can charge up with a USB port!!!
I'm so happy and grateful that a gig provided me with a little micro business to keep the bills paid.

click here for our coloring book

2011-03-16T12:36:00.000-07:00

Flier fullcirque used at a recent Seattle Comic con.

2011-03-10T17:12:00.001-08:00

click for full image

Mt.Tabor Theare Miss Kennedy's Cabaret

2011-03-10T11:10:00.000-08:00

fantastic!!!!!!

2011-03-10T11:05:00.000-08:00

!The better half of a beloved Kelso WA. couple has just sprung out of a coma and into one (or 10) of our coloring books!! Why would a nice grandma be into chaos clown scribblings? Well..she "Get's it".She looks great! I think she will be coloring stuff and enjoying life a very long time.

I got an email "My wife just came out of a coma and one of the first things she asked for was one of your coloring books..please send me 10 of them!"
She looks great!!!looks like a speedy recovery is at hand. Amen!I knew we were good at making people giggle but actual healing properties!!!????Now that we are confirmed healers I have taken to saving all my bath water...in case medical science needs it for research or something.Welcome back to the world of the Living V!!!!
You can get you Magic Healing rubber chicken book here http://www.etsy.com/listing/63448042/rubber-chicken-coloring-book

We did a modeling job for a bike parts catalog

2011-03-10T10:54:00.000-08:00

We had a great time with the employees who were happy to dress up for the occasion.
It was intimidating that so many copies of this catalog will be shipping all over the world.For the occasion I decided to change my face paint colors from black to purple.
I liked that all the folks we met were sharp and sharp looking. They gave us a tour of the facility and it's all quality and the people get treated great and looked happy.

The compensated us well and we are thinking of taking our whole payment in the form of bike lights so we will have something to sell on the street besides giant novelty chicken paintings.

Too much rain to husstle

2011-03-06T17:45:00.000-08:00

so it's all about laundry and dishes. We had such good luck with the coin op laundry at our "partments that I decided to try my hand at coin op dishwashing at our local car wash.

now wax...So the attendant came over and started blathering something about "Not intended for" and "enchiladas in the driveway" so I told him "Yeah me and the misses just evicted people from our rental property and we are spraying off the old tenants dishes before donating them to Goodwill. He almost believed me but then he asked "Why are you wearing clown make up?" So I had to punch him in the nuts. I ran off sacrificing most of my dishes. It still worked out because now I won't have to wash them again.

What a recommendation!!!!!

2011-03-02T11:53:00.000-08:00

A nice lady comes out of a coma and she is doing great! Her dutiful husband asks what he can get her...her wish is his command. She asks for the Olive and Dingo coloring book! He ordered 10 so I guess the nurses will be coloring chickens now!!!!Welcome back to the living world Virginia!!!!!

"Hey Dingo, My virginia is out of her Coma and doing GREAt, well, considering she tried to die and spent half of the month with more plumbing than our house.... BUT
One of the first things she said was she wants your coloring book. I have to grant that. Now that is a HELL of a recommendation for your book. "Comatose woman asks for Dingo Dizmal & Olive Rootbeers Coloring book upon regaining Coinscieness."
I know you posted info elsewhere to send you Georges, but I have been preoccupied. Tell you what, I'll buy 10, Yes, I mean it.... Give me the addy and the georges are on the way. gotta make it worth your time!

Pat,"
click the link above for your own copy!

there was a terrible accident at work

2011-02-20T12:20:00.000-08:00

You rock Gunner Dizmal!

2011-02-20T01:22:00.000-08:00

Welcome to the wonderful world of dumpster scrubber!

2011-02-20T00:51:00.000-08:00

W.T.F? I have to work maintenance in a downtown building to pay the bills and Olive is rife with clowny gigs. She is an amazing business woman and I'm so happy she is my partner. But I thought I was the clown! Actually I had a big hand in the initial taming of Mississippi ave. back in the day so I know this job well. I had worked on many buildings while my baby girl was growing up. I even did a roofing clean up with my daughter on a sling on my back.
It's ok with me that Olive has the cool job. I like working hard a great deal and she likes being her own boss. I think it's funny that when we met she got to quit her day job and I had to get one.
You may find her (and me) birthday party's or events like a super bowl party and of course table side ballooning out in the burbs.

Sterling and I holding it down at the Open Mic.

2011-02-20T00:50:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday Bruce! It's my sons 5th Bday.

2011-02-17T16:31:00.000-08:00

I wasn't invited to his bday, or any other day since my ex stopped sharing the kids with me. She should be ashamed of herself. This isn't at all about the kids it's her ego.
May 30th is the last time I had any contact with my children and that's an awful thing to do to them. Today my work was of the maintenance man variety. My mind was on my boy and my boss had to remind me to watch the traffic we were working near.Stealing a year of my son's life from me could be the worst thing anyone has ever done to me. My mind is more worried about what it does to him. Will he act out and commit crimes? will he hate his mom for this? Will he trust anyone? I was there for her and my kids for all the years until she left me. They both squirted out into my hands and I fed and protected them for years and years. I was there for the lady too (even if it hurts her to admit). If I wasn't then she lied to a lot of people when we were married.
You got robbed son! Every moment of today is like the shock of standing on a cliff thats collapsing. I'm not worried about my health it's my boy's mental health having his mom rip him from the Dad. She took them utilising a flurry of lies, exaggerations hypocritical nasty-grams and anonymous hate mail. I have no reason to think she will negotiate in any way other than what she has done so far.
If this was about my mental health as she claims then we would sit down with the kids and explain what's up like adults. If her story held any water then I would join that discussion.
I don't know if this was a present to her emasculated BF? Bitterness about my success and happiness? or maybe even paranoid control issues. What I do know is that his is so wrong. I have never been in trouble, never had a problem and always paid child support.
I'm doing kid gigs with my GF because she needs the help. I just have to make sure no little hand comes into contact with mine or I start bawling.
I love you so much son!!!!!!!!!

I found this on Grobbly Gribbly's facebook page.

2011-02-15T11:23:00.000-08:00

I was with my valentine

2011-02-15T01:57:00.000-08:00

If your neighbor lives (at most) two houses away and you want to send his dogs poop from your yard to his rooftop quietly and at a high rate of speed.

2011-02-13T19:52:00.000-08:00

I decided this would make a fine cottage industry for me. I'm calling my company "Returning the favor". Now I gotta figure out if i charge for the service or should I rent a hall and teach a "How to" class and sell tickets.
I'm also noticing that to ride a 10 foot bike I never wear a helmet but to shoot dog crap 50 yards I upgrade to crash helmet....HA!

Started work on the movie/theatrical presentation "The caped crusader"

2011-02-12T17:45:00.000-08:00

Heres the deal Dingo..I know it's freezing but your character is only gonna be wearing sheet thin material, You will be doing the same 10 moves ad nausium for hours as we get the shots from all angles, you only have your eyes to act out a complex story and here put this syrup that tastes like cat meds in your mouth...look on the bright side, at least you can't be funny in this one!"

They never shoot in order so I can't wait to find out how I ended up like this.

Olive Figgered out Paypal!!!!!thanks Olive. We held out as long as we could doing it the old punk rock mail in yer money/checks/zines/bus tokens way .

2011-02-12T17:39:00.000-08:00

Click above to have two high quality prints mailed to you for only $7 postage paid!

I was so happy to see Nick Loki photography in the house Thur's night

2011-02-05T02:39:00.000-08:00

He has taken the best photos of us ever.

Saterday Wide Open Mic With Your Hosts DINGO Dizmal AND OLIVE Rootbeer

2011-02-04T19:21:00.000-08:00

Time Saturday, February 5 · 6:30pm - 9:30pm
Location Flying Cat Coffee 3041 SE Division Street., Portland OR, 97214

Sign Up is @ 6:30pm WE START AT 7pm.
Slots are 10 minutes or 3 pieces...
They have beers for sale... but ALL AGES are welcome!

Bring a Dinner Date or come to make friends! This ongoing event is to bring performance artists of all sorts to SE Portland and showcase the multitude of talent. Located in a cozy cafe there are drinks, food and fun for all! Need to let out some energy this Saturday? Come pour your heart out, make some jokes or make a friend at our intimate stage...

Oh.... and come prepared for a possible contest; Prizes and Balloons for participants! :o)

we made them happy tonight!

2011-02-04T01:48:00.000-08:00

tonight!

2011-02-03T10:35:00.000-08:00

We are Cabaret show clowns tonight!!!!

I love it...a kid show in the morning and an adult show in the evening.

Liam M. Addams has been doing fantastic work coloring our Coloring book's pages!

2011-02-02T13:48:00.000-08:00

Amazing work mister!

click photos to see them better.

Liam is the guy in the brown shirt and sandals...

Our book cost $4 and is at
Powell books on Hawthorne,
El Guapo 63rd&Foster,
Cosmic Monkey 53rd&Sandy blvd.,
Excalibur 24th&Hawthorne,
Floating world comics 5th&Burnside,
Daedalus 21st & Flanders and Reading Frenzy 9th&Burnside.

Need one mailed? Mail it's $5 sent to Olive Rootbeer 4110 SE Hawthorne #142 Portland OR. 97214-5246

wigs in the dumpster

2011-02-02T10:04:00.001-08:00

I would like to thank the person who threw away two wigs. When I looked into the dumpster I thought I had found a body!!That mortal freakout was exhilarating. It also gave an opportunity to observe my neighbors observation skill. If there ever was a body the folks round here wouldn't notice.

Parting ways this morning "see ya in a couple of hours my love!"

2011-01-30T16:32:00.000-08:00

photo busking on Hawthorne

2011-01-30T16:31:00.000-08:00

from Spokane Belmont of the Wide open mic@flying cat coffee

2011-01-30T16:29:00.000-08:00

10 years of baby raising then two years of baby sharing...

2011-01-29T09:37:00.000-08:00

And now 10 months of baby mama no sharing.I must be a real monster. The 25 people who actually know me and see me every day seem to disagree. I'm still up every morning around 8am waking to nightmares about my kids.I feel like they are thinking about me and waking me up. My kids miss me dearly...because I'm a loving father who has never had a serious problem and always pay child support. It's cold and without knowing that they are warm is torture. I need to know that they are not sleeping on blankets piled up near an electrical outlets. I need to know my daughter isn't sleeping alone on a floor of the house across from a random craigslist room mate. I need to love them and give them my smell and language. Keeping them from me is a really rotten thing to do to my children as well. I feel them calling me and crying out to me.
Why? She gives different reasons to whomever she pleases. She told my Mom I'm a drug dealer, she told me I was a lair and I drive without license or insurance, she told the internet that I shot my kid with a stage cannon and when Olive called begging to see the babies the Ex seemed to have a problem with Olive's age. What a bunch of bitter cockamaime trumped up B.S.
Before I noticed that she got meaner and meaner..more demanding and hypocritical with each visit. I eventually had the sense to tell Olive not to mention any of our happiness or success. I noticed the direction of the malice too late. The Ex lied to me about the kids whereabouts for a month and then sent a nastygram. Thats an awful way to teach kids how to deal with things. That's the most selfish path possible.
I have a pile of Christmas gifts from the family and community they were taken from. I hear they got the gifts from Texas but the EX kept the Christmas money without telling them (Real classy C.J.)Now we are paying her to keep them from me. I'm really afraid that maybe she won't let them see me because she lied to them so much she doesn't want them to know the truth. Luckily they totally know the truth.
This is the worst thing anyone has ever done to me. It was so rude and abrupt I can't help but think it was a present for someone else. I was a good man to her, I didn't go out, loved her and protected her...i regret putting her first for so many years. Somehow I got all the blame for what went wrong.
See the thing is I'm around kids a lot. I have to make sure not to let any little hands come into contact with mine because when I feel them I start crying.
That's bad at work because I'm a happy clown.
Crazy thing is latley I have been working building maintenance and Olive works in the burbs doing tableside balloon art. I only clown for nightclub gigs, plays and tv stuff.
I'm fortunate enough to be lovable and well liked by my community...and the larger community too. The other day a nice lady stopped in traffic and called us off our tall bikes just so she could hug the stuffing's out of us. It was her birthday and she came from Washington to Portland and had just bought one of our coloring books from a book store. People love us and thank us for making them happy quite a bit. We can put on a good show Olive and I.
It's surreal when we have a big crowd and they are laughing hard at our clown antics. In my head as I see them having a good time it's in slow motion and I'm just fascinated that I can make them laugh while inside I'm hurting so bad without my kids I just want to crawl into a corner.

Remember I told you our lovely room mate got us day old muffins from a Mosque?

2011-01-29T09:36:00.001-08:00

(glee)only when I threw them in the freezer they touched some bacon and exploded. Well now we got all the half gone Toilet paper rolls> We got kicked down some holy scrolls yo!

Chimpanzeenita Oregon!

2011-01-29T09:34:00.000-08:00

Today I'm sending 10 coloring books to the good people over at the Cloud and leaf bookstore in Manzanita Oregon. Go see them if you live close!I'm also sendin one to a high school kid in Fort Collins CO.

stilters!!!!!

2011-01-29T09:31:00.000-08:00

from Julie Green
Hi Dingo, Do you know any stilt walkers that would like to be in a Mardi Gras parade in March at PCC? It's a fundraiser hoopla for our group to get to New Orleans and do some humanitarian and environmental work. We need ya and your friends to bring up the celebration energy! To quote Rodger Rabbit " Prrrrrrrrrease!" :)

Well Julie I'm stoked to lend a hand. Leapin Louie gifted me some Xmass stilts. I haven't tried them or any stilts so it looks like a lotta fun for all watching me try. The only thing is I may have to work the day job on that day so let us know what day ok?.

Don't be a sucker!

2011-01-29T09:27:00.000-08:00

ID theft is real, I'm not a fan of electric gizmos so I'm all about growing my "sensitive document shredder". See my bank info? It's there under old beef scraps,selections from the bathroom waste basket and specially grown docu-mold. Don't be a sucker!

Two paintings sent to Medford this month.

2011-01-29T09:23:00.000-08:00

I'm shipping this huge painting across the state. It's a little bit of a trick to find clean cardboard that is dry and big enough for a painting this big. This thing is three feet long and two feet tall. I found this box and it cracked me up."Chest Freezer" sounds horrific.

Olive and I are doing some fantastic things!

2011-01-26T01:25:00.000-08:00

Find me on Facebook thats where my funny lives these days

Phoenix rising 20x30 $250

Once upon a time the Brittans were getting bullied by the Picts.

2011-01-10T18:53:00.000-08:00

They hired the Saxons who routed the Picts but then moved into Brittany by the thousands. When the brittans couldn't feed the Saxons it became a war. At one point the Brittan's were able to stave off the invasion and from that stronghold the legend of King Arther came.
click to see all 4

This inspired the Brittan's for another hundred years until they again had their asses handed to them by the Saxons

Gwenavier.

4"x12"click photo to see Merlin.

Lancelot.

I love our characters.

Our Coloring book is all over the country now.

2011-01-08T01:19:00.000-08:00

And in P town!

Our book cost $4 and is at
Powell books on Hawthorne,
El Guapo 63rd&Foster,
Cosmic Monkey 53rd&Sandy blvd.,
Excalibur 24th&Hawthorne,
Floating world comics 5th&Burnside,
Daedalus 21st & Flanders and Reading Frenzy 9th&Burnside.

Need one mailed? Mail it's $5 sent to Olive Rootbeer 4110 SE Hawthorne #142 Portland OR. 97214-5246 The next coloring book will be all ages and it's a "Who done it?"mystery book.

Here is a little piece of what my man Quinn can do.

2011-01-08T01:15:00.000-08:00

The dude generates his own music everywhere he goes. Lots of variation to his art and he performs all his songs rather than just getting through them. Thats a big plus.

Wanna actually own some fine art?

2011-01-03T13:49:00.000-08:00

Well Olive Rootbeer is cartoonishly fine AND she can paint.
I'm a good enough painter to decorate a bar bathroom or at best a taco stand but Olive Rootbeer is the real deal.(Click this photo)

I had to re pierce my ear for this gag and it didn't show up in the photo!I have a real Pearl earring but it's lost in my beard.
"Chicken with Pearl Earring" (16x20)$250 Acrylic on Canvas

I let my friend WizPow from my hometown call in from Utah!

2011-01-03T13:42:00.000-08:00

He was roaming the countryside and found himself in a room in Utah.
I let him and his companion do a song during the big Sat.Open Mic.
We really need a better set up for those kinds of operations.

"baiting the trap"

2011-01-03T12:52:00.000-08:00

living working loving

2010-12-30T00:51:00.000-08:00

Nothing like telling the GF (who just got home from balloon making at Applebees) "I'm done" and she sez "no you aren't" and manually actually finishes it.
I don't mind one bit...in fact I love watching her do it.

I'm no saint but I don't deserve this.

2010-12-26T00:17:00.000-08:00

WARNING!!!!ACHTUNG!!!!!CUIDADO...the following is not the regular nutty banter but a real sad story. If you are giggling them maybe you should go take a bath or something and come back when I'm talking about puppies or Kenny Rodgers or Peanut butter pasta recipes or other pleasant things.~

I'm glad... Christmas is over.I don't subscribe to Christianity but this was still a family holiday. I haven't been allowed any contact with my kids since May 28th. No contact like I'm a monster. I spent last night alone in a little room eating fruit loops and really missing my kids. Every morning I wake to nightmares about my ex, every time I try and sleep I have nightmares about my kids. I sleep about 4-5 hours a night trying to avoid those two worst moments. I talked to my friend who is in a similar situation and that helped.
I'm living with all my childrens clothing and toys. I dry my face with my daughters bathrobe every day when I wash and my sons socks are mixed in with mine so I'm sure to pray for him. My kids clothes no longer fit them after all this time but I don't dare throw them out. We have crates of kid toys, books, games and all their stuff. Just like when my wife left me in 07 they got no warning that she was taking them away from me. I asked my daughter how the split up went and she said " My life was great at the Clown House and then one day I went to grammas and when I came back I didn't have a Dad anymore."
Ex lady left with kids, dog and both businesses and didn't tell me where she went for a long time.
This time I refused to hand over some equipment she was demanding. If she had asked I would have totally given it to her. I took my kid to a concert. When I got home her boyfriend had Olive in tears with internet harassment over a photograph. The punishment had begun.
The next weekend the kids never showed. The ex never answered my calls anyway so they lied to Olive instead. We got lied to for months and then got a nasty and yet cryptic letter.
I'm a Dad who for all the years put the kids to bed by hand every night, worked several jobs to keep the bills payed and managed to be a huge part of a positive movement. Both my kids are very proud of me and we have never had a problem.
I don't drink, I have never been arrested, never had to take my kids to the emergency room, I watch them like a hawk, I always pay the child support, I'm around kids every day and the whole town sings to me as I ride by. I only have one room mate at a time and I don't even hang out with cig smokers if I can (sorry stinky face).
I only care to hang out with sober,bright people who are doing something and going somewhere. I'm not perfect by far and I'm no angel but I don't do anything to deserve this.
I was there 24-7 on Ex ladys side for both pregnancies, rubbing VitE on her, going to classes and both kids were born right into my hands. We had our kids in houses together with a midwife near but it was mostly the two of us. I have spent countless hours rocking kids, feeding them scrubbing diapers and teaching them love, afection and kindness. I champion community service, friendship and heroism and I want them to do the right thing. I don't want them to learn to negotiate like Ex Lady from the shadows. They know the truth and she underestimates how clever they are so I think she may have showed them up close how not to deal with things.
Ex lady wishes I was the monster she created...but I'm not. When i come into a room children tend to run to me...not away.
My kids are super tight with Olive too. For a long time none of my family was allowed contact with the kids. Olive called and asked the ex to end the punishment but then the ex yelled at her for being too young and hung up on her.
When my kids held me they did so very tightly like they are afraid they will be taken away from me (they were right). For this I'm not bitter i'm just ashamed and embarrassed and somehow feel sorry for the Ex. I've never sold so many paintings and comic books in my life.
They got ripped from a huge community of friends and family that love them. They missed out on training with Olive...my kid could have learned a trade ballooning that can make a hundred bucks an hour.
One of my close friends is a woman I want my girl to learn from ironically works for Child protective services. If I was out of line I think this lady would have red flagged me a long time ago.
I miss talking to the teachers, buying my kids school and winter clothes and hearing them laugh. All the legal venues to me were a dead end. If the ex had stolen my bike then they could have done something.
I'm not ashamed of myself or anything I do. I don't look over my shoulder. I stand up straight and I will talk to anyone face to face. Dealing with the ex is a lot of sifting through anonymous hate mail and rude demands. She never ever looked me in the face and told me anything. I don't blame her...she has been telling a lot of tall tales about me. She is avoiding a lot of our mutual friends who know me better than she because what is she gonna say? She can't look them in the face because she can't tell a lie to someone who knows me and sees me every day.
In all those years Ex lady never let any of us meet her Dad. She said he was a monster and a pathological lair among other things. I didn't want to meet him....now she is calling me those same things (and since I'm not any of those things) I'm wondering if the ex lady just has a problem with the man in her life moving on and being happy. I don't need anyone to write back on this...I'm sorry I'm not making you laugh this day. I just gotta tell it so my kids can find this in the future and know that I love them and spend every day thinking about them.
Also when I went to get my coffee i saw a kid my girl's age pick up a waterlogged cig but off the ground and give it to her guardian who lit it and made all our air stink. That made me wonder "Who the hell is watching my kids?"
Without Olive Rootbeer I couldn't handle going through this pathetic madness. But when I remember the contempt that I noticed Ex lady showing to Rootbeer I realize that without Rootbeer this may not be happening at all. Ex lady was never very fun but she got mean and cruel as soon as Olive came into the picture. I half heartedly appreciated getting my wallet back because the irony is that the checks and cash in it are all child support for kids I'm not even allowed to talk to. Pray for me...I need it this time.

working maintenance on a few buildings today,,,

2010-12-23T03:00:00.000-08:00

On break) was working maintenance on a few buildings today and I met this guy with a story...Ya see he lives by a trailer park. In the park was a meth house. He tells me it was very popular. One day meth jerks moved leaving not a trace. well...
The customers still show up. When there is just an empty lot where the day b...efore there was "walking death powder"..they go nuts!
A lady threw herself into his window smashing it!
She was in a panic as she came in and called 911. She looked around crazily and then said "Oh Shit the cops are coming" and ran out the door.
"Hey!!!" my friend told his Craigslist, mouth breathing room mate to start picking up the glass but he just stood there dumbstruck. He left the room mate standing there as he followed her. She ran into Division street into on coming traffic. She was picked up by Portland . The cops told him to go home and they will be there soon. He waited and waited and eventually went back to the cop car. They had let her go. He said that he asked what about the original call and they told him "we let her go , she's flipping out on drugs."
I wasn't there I'm just listening to a story while I clean gratings. My guess is that the police in way out100sumpin and Division have some pressing priorities in that jungle and ya gotta pick your battles.
The man then told me that he had been in the Navy for many years. He is a vet but doesn't qualify for job training,benefits,assisted living, medical...BUT! he said " if i go to prison for a year then when I gets out I would qualify for job training,benefits,assisted living, medical. Problem is he isn't a criminal so he came up with this gambit.
If he checks himself into rehab then when he gets out he will qualify for job training,benefits,assisted living, medical. He has to be willing to get gacked out on drugs the day he goes in because he has to piss positive for drugs to get in the door.
Looks like he isn't into dangerous street drugs but he is willing to compromise his health and well being for the sake of his health and well being. Maybe he knows where the meth truck went.Life in the big city.

I went jogging (really)

2010-12-23T02:57:00.000-08:00

I did some stretching , threw on some sweat pants, planned a route and taped my bike light under my chin. It could have been miserable in the freezing cold rain but after rounding the first corner a friend spotted me and gave me a ride.

"The Page of birds" is the biggest painting in the C.R.C.O.D.D.A,O.R.series.

2010-12-23T02:51:00.000-08:00

‎ I decided to paint the entire deck of tarot cards in big rubber chix style. This one tells of a coming silly message..

Had an Xmas dream!

2010-12-23T02:18:00.000-08:00

I went back in time and had a ride along with some Nordic Raiders who were pillaging abbeys in 793AD.

They issued me an ax that I named "Credit Card".We did a lot of "Shopping" at the "Mall".

I was a bit miffed that there were no Xmas lights, no viking helms, you can't run fast in dreams and waking in a wet pillow.

chicken story click here

2010-12-19T23:46:00.001-08:00

Struck a deal with Singer Hill Gardens !

2010-12-18T23:12:00.000-08:00

Buy a veggie share and they will buy you one of our coloring books!!!!What do you think about local produce from local farmers?Go look at some Safeway produce and then get yourself a farm share and a silly book.click here*

I haven't seen my daughter, son or dog since May28th.

2010-12-18T13:11:00.000-08:00

They miss me, I miss them and we are missing each other's golden ages of discovery. I can help hold people up when they are down because my partner holds me up. I can't let myself become BITTER or I will become like the bitter person who is doing this to us.

I see lots of kids with truly messed up Dads who don't support them and they get to see and be with their kids.
I have never been a better man!

you can put a bird on something and call it art.

2010-12-17T19:51:00.000-08:00

EPIC Last Thursday's Open Mic at Flying Cat Coffee

2010-12-17T12:41:00.000-08:00

Sterling is the best Barista because as you can see...he is the devil. No problem keeping drinks hot! Cute girls give him phone numbers all the time (pssst. he couldn't care less about your advances gals sorry he just gives your numbers to Olive and me.)

What is this guy looking at???

Larry!

Quin never dissapoints...I hope he still plays our open mics after he is old enough to play bars and saloons.

I get my pay from people buying stuff from here. When you go out to my Open Mic eat drink and be merry because I'm really working for you!

Isaiah Brown is a POWER HOUSE!!!!

Inspired by Hells Kitchen Olive created a blind taste test contest. Three random folks were blindfolded and fed different foods. The prize was a Daredevil Comic from the latest store to carry our coloring book (Future Dream Books)It's about a blind super hero. Our good friend and fellow Texan Jimmy Pardo had the taste buds to win.

Scott

"Gender Roles"

Mauling a burrito that was paid for with money from funny

2010-12-15T16:54:00.000-08:00

Cut a deal with the mighty Excalibur Comix on 2444 se Hawthorne Blvd.

That makes 7 places selling our humble little comic coloring book.

!It gave me a profound pleasure an hour later to be mauling a burrito that was payed for by money from funny.

CUUUUUUTE! She came to town, , met her friend who knows the clowns, tracked down some crayons, called us off a city bus (to get her Rubber Chicken coloring book), gave clowns a ride home, went back to Tacoma. or as i call it Taco-Ma!

Robin's Dad.

2010-12-15T16:51:00.000-08:00

If you think you can do it then I think you can do it. If you don't think you can do it tell me.

2010-12-15T16:47:00.000-08:00

Because I know I can do it.

We cut a deal with Jason over at Floating World Comix downtown

2010-12-13T11:34:00.000-08:00

We cut a deal with Jason over at Floating World Comix downtown (20 NW 5th Ave #101)now they have our coloring books on the shelves! Great ta meetcha mister!

This is a part of Zine life that I have never felt.

2010-12-13T11:27:00.000-08:00

The feeling of sharing the artistic expierience with others and enjoying the take they have on Olive and My ideas.
Hundreds of coloring books have gone out across the country and in Portland. Now the finished coloring jobs are starting to come in. This is from my friend A.B.
I like how she added the fade to the jeans.
Wanna join the coloring party? Click the link above.

"Dingo Dizmal and Olive Rootbeer's Celebrated Rubber Chickens coloring book is the coolest thing ever. The illustrations are amazing. I got one and it's been keeping me busy and happy all night! They can be found at tons of bookstores around town.."

Can I have any job without looking like a buffoon? Um...no.

2010-12-12T11:50:00.000-08:00

So I'm hearing that it's far cheaper to pay the wage of a 24 hr. on call drainage lackey (me) then it is to replace people's basement apartment furnishings. carpets, water damaged sheet rock and other assorted what-not.
Makes sense to me!
See the dip in the road up ahead? The building I'm protecting is right there at the bottom.

Olive off to one of her two morning ballooning gigs at Flying Cat Cafe.

2010-12-12T11:43:00.000-08:00

Olive Rootbeer's fashion is as follows:Hair ties(Found On Ground),lipstick(also F.O.G.),boyfriend Dingo(also F.O.G.),red striped sweater(free box),Green sequined coat(hand me down from drag queen,Rubber Boots(her Oregon family's heirloom.)Pants were given to her in Texas by my mother who used them as her clown pants for Birthday Parties, the handbag was found left unattended at the airport and the coloring books she made by hand and had printed at Eberheart press.Her bike is "The Party" built by Topher Moore

sweet review!

2010-12-08T21:58:00.000-08:00

This is what a fine fellow decided would be a great way to scare his conservative southern relatives. To people who live in stalls, we must look like a pride parade. (fine wiff me)Hopefully it eases them putting the screws to a kid over there who has the dred locks.

Struck a deal with Powells!!!!

2010-12-08T19:52:00.000-08:00

I'm very happy to report that Our rubber Chicken Coloring books are now available from Powell's Books on Hawthorne Blvd. They bought 10 on the spot and gave us a number and a way to refill as needed THANKS YA'LL
We are stoked to have them as well as a string of less famous book stores believing in us. Olive and I go out in all weather...

...and we add new locations every day and continue to mail them all over the country.

Pam, Lisa, Michelle, Julia and Alexander your coloring books are now mailed and on the way.
The lady at the post office said "Exporting more Portland culture today?"
She mails lots of rubber chickenry for us. She wasn't amused at my packing job so she had me re-do a bunch. Then she did further upholstering. I sure made... friends in that long line as I took forever to get my ducks in a row Sorry!

You can go see the 35 Rubber chicken Paintings I have up at Flying Cat Coffee on 31st and SE Division. They are a riot! And you can pick up a copy of our coloring book for $4. Click the title above to visit our online store.

I'm gratful and surprised that this has gone over so well. Thank you so much everyone! Thank you Olive Rootbeer!

Love Art Gallery Gig in Sellwood OR.

2010-12-08T19:34:00.000-08:00

Enjoying a freezing cold gig with our friend Emily!

We were hired to entertain the children but it turns out it was the silver haired crowd that were into our trio's antics. We made tons of geriatric friends that day.

If you can make it to the Love Art Gallery I would suggest you do so because they have amazing things that are affordable.
I like the people that run it...and why wouldn't I? their philosophy is after all about LOVE.

I found out why the toilet wasn't flushing

2010-12-08T19:32:00.000-08:00

They ordered a Darth Vader Chicken and came all the way from Kelso to get it!

2010-12-08T19:24:00.000-08:00

Sweet folks The Everdells and I loved and respected them both right away.

So this fellah gave me three times how much I asked for a painting...

2010-12-08T19:17:00.001-08:00

I saw the wad of dough and crammed it in my pocket as fast as I could before he changed his mind.

Now back in the Clown Cave I'm noticing that every bill has a "where's george.com" tracking address. Now it's up to me to send them in all different directions.FUN!
I want to send one to a company store 3 miles underground in a mine, some to the north pole, some to the deep south, some to a prison in Texas and some to a scout troop in China...that would freak mister bill tracker out!!!

Open Mic at Flying Cat Coffee

2010-12-03T01:59:00.000-08:00

It was a splendid vibrant Open mic tonight over at the Flying Cat. Nothing better than having the owner walk in while his place is full of happy healthy people and the music is pouring out of his shop. I want anyone I work with to feel good about paying me.
Here is Phil the Peddler, he has a CD out thats pretty sweet. I'm honored that he has hired me to host his show on the 19th, stay tuned.

I don't know if I can post recordings of people doin cover songs.
This is Jonny B. and he did some very convincing Niel Young tunes.

Open Mic hosts get paid a percentage of the till at the end of the night. See that menu? That's what keeps us all paid so if ya can, eat, drink and be merry because you are supporting live entertainment in your own community.

Alex had never played an Open Mic before, you can tell when someone loses their stage virginity because they get this glow!

QUIN

When the night begins the tables are like camps. Crowds of friends mob with each other because nobody knows anybody else.
Then by 10 PM folks end up visiting each other's tables.
I guess that after they see each other brave the pressure of public performing they all get a respect for each other and want to know each other.
This is how bands and or friendships are formed.

My act was a smashing success but none of our bits got photographed by us...cuz we were working.

Open Mic Thursday At Flying Cat Coffee

2010-12-01T23:59:00.000-08:00

Did you guys know that there are French people who actually live OUTSIDE of Canada? Yup they got some French peoples in Europe too. They even have a Notre Dame OUTSIDE of Indiana!!!Thanks Nina!

Olive and my new business is called "Chicken DOers" the DO stands for Dingo and Olive, the phrase makes fun of old king George.

2010-12-01T23:49:00.000-08:00

(Eek)Thanks to Facebook we had to get "all businessed up and legal" much faster than we expected to. Normally people just fly under the radar till they get running. I'm watched pretty close nowdays. There are a few people who would love to see me fail so I have to dot those i's and cross those t's.
Right here we are setting up a mail box for folks to mail our money to.
wanna CoLoRiNg BOOK? $5 to this address will get cha' one postage paid.
4110 SE Hawthorne Blvd.#142
Portland OR. 97214

Tomorrow we have to go register with the government and get a ...tax ID I think. Balloon busking fluctuates too much to track very well but this item is relatively easy to track. CHICKEN DOers!

I'm not complaining about doing the extra work! Normally when lots of folks support us clowns I say "Thanks Portland" but right now I'm honored to be saying (gulp.*)"Thanks America!" People from all over the country are ordering coloring books. So far stacks of them are going to OR.WA.PA.GA.AL.LA.TX.FL. WTF???
Olive and I keep looking at each other like we just pushed a boulder down a hill.
Thanks for letting us be so silly while we make a living. I love my friends so much.

Dedicated to Robin and Bruce...

2010-11-30T13:13:00.001-08:00

Our Coloring Books are done!!!!!!!

Years in the making it is so fine a feeling to see the boxes stacked up on the floor of Eberheart press.

They are super good at working with people on a budget.

They cost $4 plus postage and it's not really a kids book. We are planning a kid friendly coloring book soon.
Our books were spit out by a rig thats as big as an amusement park locomotive!

We borrowed saddle staplers from two people and they lent us identical tools!
I'm gonna cross return them so both tools will have a radical lifestyle change that won't be noticed by their owner.

We love them! 16 pages of funny on %100 recycled paper.

They looks so sharp it's hard to believe that we came up with all of this from scratch.

Reading it to our two headed baby.

"Some assembly required" part of making this progect affordable is throwing in a lot of "sweat equity". We are doing the stapling and collating and getting a lot of money off for it.

Want one? Find me on the Facebook or better yet come to the many shows I do every week. Open Mic Thursday @ Flying Cat Coffee is a good start!

Pics from Chervona's Birthday bash! click here

2010-11-28T12:47:00.000-08:00

I love this page from our coloring book.

2010-11-26T14:19:00.000-08:00

a "shill" tonight...that word SHILL has a bad rap but it's a real job.

2010-11-26T14:09:00.000-08:00

Tonight I am a shill.
A shill is someone who works for a company but doesn't immediately look like it. We show the crowd what to pay attention to and when. We cheer and basically crowd wrangle.
I'm working for a couple of companies tonight.
It's a fire show and an expo of all the latest state of the art fire spinning gear and fancy stage lighting.
There will be lots of live circus arts as well as some tattooing!
After all that it's a dance party rave done up by the master D.J.Tigger!
If you are my Facebook friend then let me know and I will get you on the list.

Looking for Ewoks at the base of Mount Hood.

2010-11-26T14:08:00.000-08:00

Thanks giving!

2010-11-26T13:36:00.000-08:00

I had a pleasant feast out in a house under Mount Hood. In the back woods it gets COLD! Inside it was cozy and full of lots of Olives kin, grandmas, uncles and siblings. They miss my two kids too. It was nice of them to be so kind to me when i'm hurting so bad missing them. Olive made her version of a Thanksgiving Turkey but no body ate it!

Thanksgiving poem:
I would be thankful to know my kids are warm,
That they are happy and feel safe where they are,
I would appreciate knowing who they were with...and how they are doing so far,
I would be thankful to know that they aren't sleeping near- an octopus of tangled electrical cords, Or suffering getting lied to about their Dad from Mom and usually more.
I'm not thankful for the baggage she put on my kids when she started this paranoid attack. The kids feel guilty for loving their Dad and they want their Daddy back,
I'm a winner and I like knowing winners I'm really not here to lose.
Gettin screws put to me by a bitter lady who communicates like FOX news.

Ok so I'm not a poet I'm just a fellow who is beside himself with grief over Baby Mamas hateful behavior. Every moment that I'm not working hard or thinking about something else waves of grief overwhelm me. The worst part is that when she was a respectful parent I only had to think about her for the 10 min. it took for the exchange but now I'm pounded with thinking about her every moment it seems.

The coloring book is almost done!!!!!!!!

2010-11-26T13:34:00.000-08:00

Still no kid visits!What an awful state of affairs.

2010-11-23T08:35:00.000-08:00

It's cold and as usual I'm up early worried about my babies. It seems the only person who doesn't want me around kids is the co owner of my own kids. It's just insanity since that is the only adult on the planet that knows I spent 12 years and more carefully taking great care of my children. She was with me during the long nights, long days, we carried the kids in backpacks and worked really hard. The ex took all that away from me as soon as she saw me in a fantastic romance with a lady who does really well. My girlfriend doesn't have any fear of success keeping her back. She doesn't make tons of disastrous mistakes or blame others for her shortcomings. I asked he not to let the ex know anything good about our lives because she is the most bitter and negative person I know. Nobody has any problem having me around kids but that is because nobody else is so jealous or bitter that I'm doing so well.
I'm surrounded by all my kids clothing and toys. Dig this...the clothes no longer fit my kids but I don't dare get rid of them because I will never give up on my babies.
They have missed out on so much since Mom started her temper tantrum, they missed out. Caffeine screwed us all over her Utarded, selfish pride.
A comic book is being made, we have great vocational lessons in balloon making my little girl missed out on. My house is full of love. They have a huge family that misses them on my side of the family, they also are part of a community.
Everyone wants to know where the kids are. When I tell them they always have something to say about "WTF?"
The whole town loves me and I'm getting fantastic jobs every day. This lady is keeping my kids from me during my golden age and it's so wrong.
They were taken from me in the most low budget childish way too. They just lied and misled me about the kids visits for a couple of weeks and then sent an un-researched nastygram accusing me of being unsafe.
It's so sad that they are being kept from me supposedly for their safety when I have never had a problem. There is no question in my mind that they are safer with me than with Mom any frikkin day of the week.She lives with people I wouldn't share a bus stop with.
Supposedly its because of a pic i posted on Facebook of my GF tied to a chair. My mom still has the photo on her page and she is a hard core christian, she also knows what horse play looks like. She hasn't been allowed to talk to my kids nor has Olive.
Olive has been nothing but nice to my ex but she got hung up on too.
The ex made it clear that she is not a fan of Olive and my age difference.
It's cold out, my kids need and want me, they have a Dad who loves them and I have to deal with the cold shoulder and no negotiating from an anarchist version of Fox news...angry bitter and full of crap.http://shmanarchy.blogspot.com/2010/08/i-wake-up-every-day-missing-my-children.html I need help!

No open mic this Thursday ok?

2010-11-22T21:12:00.002-08:00

2010-11-22T21:12:00.001-08:00

Please come! Olive and I are MCs!

2010-11-22T21:10:00.000-08:00

Cutting a deal with Eberheart press! We will have coloring books in a week! Thanks Charles!

2010-11-17T13:13:00.000-08:00

We did a birthday party in a professional kitchen.

2010-11-17T11:55:00.000-08:00

Olive told me that tonight's gig would be for "Professionals" I thought "Clowning for assassins?"
No there are other kinds of pros, I think one was a doctor but the birthday girl and her friends are food business owners. They have their names on jars of nutrient rich foods that you get at grocery stores. Coconut Yogurts... and spreads and such. We did a birthday party in a professional kitchen.

Slim Chance the clown showed me how to have fun with buckets and i just can't let that act go when it makes so many people happy. He said he got it from an old YMCA manual. I think we did a good job of making it our own. Thanks SLIM!

Olive making friends.

Pick a winner Young Man!Amazing that out of all the lotto tickets we handed out the boy pulled his own out and won the prize! Really no joke.

I didn't get the job but I was allowed in on the Safety Meeting.

Last night we worked for very modern movers and shakers. Being surrounded by winners who are in it for the right reasons was a golden opportunity.

I love how old Portland is, every time we do gigs downtown of deep in the zones our backstage areas usually have many more ramps and tunnels and long passageways. Sometimes a modern building will still have some doorways built for horses to go through.

I have worked with this exact model dishwasher in restraunts from Venice Fl. to Portland OR., Minneapolis MN.to Corpus Christi TX.WOW! some updates but still the same thing.

What was i up to while Olive socialized with our sophisticated hosts? I took lots and lots of dishwasher porn.

One of the funniest moments that happen at an employee/workplace type party is when it is discovered that something is wrong with the equipment during the third quarter or so of the event.

Still pros even when tipsy they got it running again!Right on Orian!

Seeing that equipment made me pine for the simple days when all i had to do was make a paycheck, give it to my wife, love my kids and drink my beer. Still I love this current life better than any so far. I was clawing and stumbling through before and now I'm clear headed and on a mission.

At work I got to drink heartily without breaking my vow of sobriety! They tell me this stuff called Everclear doesn't actually have any alcohol in it...it's just alcohol flavored. That's what one of the guys said when i told him i don't drink. ..and I believed him because it says "Clear" right on the label.

i'm just funnin, you won't ever find a soused Dingo. I can't even taste a drop. Since I have been sober I have had a bar tending job that i loved and many times been covered and sprayed with beer at gigs and it doesn't phase me a bit. Booze can be in my life as long as I never put any of it in my mouth.

Table Dance! (they Everclearlly know what they are doing!

Rooty Tooty!

Thanks to the radio I didn't have to bother actually playing my banjo.

Olive won't ever let us eat crappy food...

2010-11-17T11:43:00.000-08:00

...unless it's the foundation of an entire building!

Kidding)
I don't blame her, when we first met this lady spent a lot of money having all my systems overhauled. We take great care of each other and she wants me to last a long time. Of course it's a lot easier when my darling babies were here three days a week. When everyone eating nutrient dense foods it was harder for me to sneak junk food into the cupboard.

Last night at the grocery store i decided to do a fact finding/eavesdropping mission. I was interested in folks talking on cell phones. I kept my head down and discovered out of 6 people, the 3 women were having non shopping related conversations and the 3 men were lost, confused, or forgot what they went in for.

glad this guy got some rain!

2010-11-13T11:40:00.000-08:00

Remember just because cars arent s'posed to be on the sidewalk don't mean they won't be. Look out!

2010-11-10T00:53:00.000-08:00

We went to get our popcorn machine on Sandy BLVD.As we pulled up; from behind we could hear screaming. A car that was turning accidentally went forward and creamed a lady who was walking on the sidewalk.Lucky for her she was hit right in front of a mattress shop.What a great place to be in agony!

This is 50 seconds after she wiped out a lady(on the left) who was walking on the sidewalk.

The little lady who was coming from the right must have hit the gas accidentally.

I wrote this last Sunday on Facebook.

2010-11-10T00:44:00.000-08:00

Yesterday with the mailman i pretended to be a dog. He played along but as a frightened burglar rather than happy pet owner. I went nuts! i'm sorry but he should know you can't show fear to even imaginary animals. Today the mail didn't come I hope I didn't offend him!!!!

(Fun game for couples to play)

2010-11-10T00:42:00.000-08:00

Both change Facebook status to "Is Single" then count how many of one's friends hit on the other (starts with a poke) and vice versa.
The fun begins when you invite all involved to a dinner party and enjoy hours of uncomfortable silence. Couples need fun things to do.

Postering in the rain is like making tortillas with wet toilet paper.

2010-11-10T00:32:00.000-08:00

I can't stop working

2010-11-10T00:28:00.000-08:00

I miss my kids so much if i stop working I get overwhelmed with grief.
I don't know how those people can congratulate themselves so much when all they did was hurt a famously good dad and his loving kids who need him.
Very cruel...I wouldn't want that karma.

2010-11-08T23:26:00.000-08:00

We are making a deal with Eberhehart Press! Rubber Chicken Coloring books on the way!

2010-11-08T23:10:00.000-08:00

J.B. from Microcosm Publishing set us on the correct path to getting our Rubber Chicken coloring books printed.

I come up with the concept drawing (below) and then Olive Rootbeer makes the final. Sometimes her work ends up being a lot different than mine but still has the same idea.

Stay tuned!

Making WATER happen....above a giant tea wearhouse!

2010-11-08T22:36:00.000-08:00

Facebook thank you!
WE get good gigs from Facebook. I got the call from a fellow who asked me to be the MC of a show he was putting on around ther theme of water.
He had many personal reasons to do this and was sure other would have simular reasons to love water.
At our first meeting with Gabe from the Bamboo Garden Spa we made him familiar with our work and he hired Olive as art director.
She took her $200 budget to Lippmans company and a fabric store.

She was able to get tons of huge balloons and a blower that we rented for $25 from Lippmans fills balloons with amazing quickness. We wouldn't be able to make a living without Lippmans company.

One by one we went way up tieing big balloons fron the cieling making it look like it was raining.

ggg

OK We have been working for hours now and the show hasn't even started.

2010-11-06T17:28:00.000-07:00

Lets go out there and bring the Ocean to those folks.

Marlena Simone!!!!!

Ever hear Krista Herring? She is one elegant American song she is. Portland will miss her soon cuz I hear she is goin on tour soon. I loved being in the mermaid pond and listening to her "Pondcert" as Curtis Carlyle put it.

At least once a day I look up at this woman and lose my breff! Sharp and soft.

"She wasn't hard to catch but on the other hand...she also didn't stay in the boat long."

BTW....

2010-11-06T17:19:00.000-07:00

We can bring Pinata mayhem to any party for $50 sometimes less.

hired by Sprout?????why not.

2010-11-06T17:12:00.000-07:00

I don't have photos of us doing the thing but I do have shots of the other folks.

Upstager!

i dig Sprouts!

Congratulations Lippman's

2010-11-06T17:05:00.000-07:00

This Halloween we saw the lines wrapped round and round at Lippman"s they did a fine day of buisness. They treat us great and i hope we work together a long time.