Thursday, December 27, 2018

Mystery of the phantom turds solved.



Everyday, dog mess appeared in a local yard. 
Surveillance ensued. Nothing electronic, this was good old fashioned 5 am stakeout. The culprit: The neighbor three doors down lets his dog poop in the yard during the "wee hours" of the morning. 
Luckily the homeowner knows a clown who is easy to bribe and owns a pneumatic canon. 
These things are capable of sending a load over the house next door and right on it's perp-rooftop target.
 If you ever need this service I'm happy to oblige. My stick is on loan right now but when it's in my grubby hands I can make it sing (poop/fire/ski poles). 
I'm cheap too, I think I did this for a roll of dimes and a box of tampons (that I also shot out of the canon). 
Good times.

No comments: