Saturday, March 31, 2018

Ishtar with the Fam-Damily.

 Grampa, Din-din and love at Olive's Mom's place. 
They set op a game where we used a table of random materials to create a protective case for an egg getting dropped from the top of the stairs. 
Olive and I were on a team with Grampa (Fast Eddie). 
We were soundly trounced. Our egg didn't make the trip. It was still fun. 
Super interesting that Olive's Mom's dog has a music note shaped spot on her neck. NEATO! 
Hope you folks are having a swell day.

Friday, March 30, 2018

Sometimes chicken, sometimes feathers.

The other day we had one of those situations where we attracted a huge crowd of fans but at the end of the day, a lot of them didn't put into our jar at the end.
Pedalling home, we decided to try our luck with $5 in a video poker den. We don't expect to keep our money but it's also fun to have some free drinks and listen to elderly folks swearing in that charming, non vulgar way they do so well. :)

Anyhoo, we didn't know anyone in the lotto den that day. They looked at us clowns...funny. Nobody made eye contact but we could tell everyone's state of awareness was peaking, posture rising, butt cheeks clenching.
We sat down and immediately Olive stumbled on a huge bonus. DING DING DING, Suddenly everyone was talking to and at us, cheering, offering suggestions.

It was a riot to behold.
That's what it takes to break the tension. Works for me. Her $5 bumped up to $80 and she made some friends.
I got to enjoy a hot dog and the classic song "Funky Town." It's also funny watching Olive win. Like myself, Olive isn't the slightest bit materialistic, it's all a game. So she is actually cheering the people cheering the win.
It doesn't matter that it's her win. She can equally enjoy anyone's win.
Someone must have noticed the honor system at our shows wasn't working out because when we got home there was a hundie donation in our site. It worked out.

Sometimes chicken, sometimes feathers.
Every day is a job interview.

Thursday, March 29, 2018

You can legally be naked outside in Portland.

Nobody really cares. It's not the case where I'm from in South Texas but that may be a good thing. They got a lot of cactus, Christians, scorpions, inch long roaches and scorching sunshine in my homeworld, Maybe not so fun to farm nude down there.
 I did like night surfing nude in Texas but the gulf of Mexico has it's own carnivorous hazards.
When you get crabs down there they are literally crabs.
This laptop I'm on is a riot. It warns me when there are "only" 4 hr.s of battery time left. 
After a spiked my laptop on some stairs we went to good old Free Geek and purchased a Huner-doller laptop. 
It's a Dell Latitude. It's too dumb to edit video, couldn't crop a picture to save it's life but man, does it last a long time. Recharges fast. MOre than how long I typically need to accomplish nothing. Kidding, it's great for talking to you and being a show flier file cabinet.
 Also to be fair, I'm still wrapping my head around the whole Linux situation. It's very possible that I'm the member of the team that's the dumb one.
 Maybe there are better programs for audio video than what the open source world has. 
I was spoiled by Windows movie maker. I still recommend getting one of those hundred dollar laptops from Free Geek. It's solid.

touched up the paint on my Hoopty this morning.

The old "rattle-can bubblewand special"

Wednesday, March 28, 2018

Gun "rights" are useless to kids

Gun "rights" are useless to kids, they are more concerned by the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. 
They don't need a penis extension like a machine gun to feel powerful. 
They want to inherit a country that is what is says it is. Trump is a constant attack on the social contract but these cavemen just care about their club.
Is it a sex thing? Just like how it's hard to find a white supremacist who has a lot of personal accomplishments (other than the racism) it's hard to find a gun enthusiast that looks like they "get some". 
Most women aren't into guns. Guns are a symbol of weakness and fear, chicks don't dig that unless they live in regions (like where I'm from in South Texas) that are ruled by fear. 
Lots of men who are into guns are also religious. 
Religion demonises body functions like sex.
Sex is sold on the TV all day in different ways. They have to look but never touch. It must be crazy-making.
 Maybe the workaround is the gun. 
Looking on the feeds of my gun nut friends i also see lots of posts that denigrate women. That pithy rage speaks to an ancient frustration from animals who can't mate for whatever reason. In high school, the lads I saw doing that were the one's who's chances of scoring a date were zero. I know plenty of fellas that get shagged six ways to Sunday and they seem to have plenty lots of solutions to problems that don't involve the remote control courage of a gun. I'm one of them. :)

Thursday, March 08, 2018

It's a great town to be a clown.

t.b.t. bloodless coup.

My sideshow acts that involved bleeding got less valuable after i quit drinking.
The big punchline to "the bowling ball drop" wasn't that I was playing banjo while some unsuspecting punter from the crowd drops a bowling ball on me.
The biggest laugh was when the stack of plates cut me and the audience volunteer gets berated by the ringmaster "Why did you break our clown?"
HA! What a riot. The thing is, when I quit drinking my blood got considerably thicker.
When I stopped bleeding it made it look like one or all of the elements in my acts were fake.
That's how part of my old routine became extinct.
Easy come, easy go. It was an easy transition to go from feral, treehugger, radical clownarchist protesting in the streets, getting tear gassed and shot with riot cop pellet guns to performing in nightclubs. It was kinda the same level of comfort and discomfort.
The reason I searched the country so long for a home was because I was looking for the perfect city to grow in.
Portland has let me do nice shows for kids and naughtyish shows for adults (often on the same day), as well as doing what I can to save the world since 1997.
We are just as comfortable at a 3 year olds birthday as we are at Dante's during fleet week.
It's all rock n roll in Puddletown, they don't seem to mind. It's a great town to be a clown.

Wednesday, March 07, 2018

The correct phrase goes "is the Pope Catholic?"

I almost corrected a stranger's conversation when she let "Is the Pope Italian?" fall out of her face.
(coach whistle) "Gotta call foul on that one. There hasn't been an Italian pope in 4 decades, your phrase is off-sides."
I'm very religious (about comedy mechanics.)
Fun fact: That last true Italian Pope only lasted 1 month. OK passing away from a heart attack after only 33 days rocking the biggest gig in Jesus-town is a not such a fun fact. Glad he found peace in our time.
Wanna get lost down the pope rabbithole (that didn't sound right) look up Pope Benedict the 9th. P-BIX knew how to party.
He sold the papacy twice to keep the fun going.
That's right neighborly. :)

Friday, March 02, 2018

OK I just poured the contents of "pantry mystery baggie" in my oatmeal.

OK I just poured the contents of "pantry mystery baggie" in my oatmeal. It's not bad, now it kind of tastes like gumbo-oatmeal.
 I asked around. It turned out to be my favorite spice "expired exotic fish food". 
We need to get some more of this stuff yum yum.