Wednesday, July 26, 2017

math vs. science

I told my son that he had a choice. We could do math flash cards OR
I could give him a lecture and demonstration (with graphics) of everything that clinically went down when I got a vasectomy plus a follow up and guesstimated mileage so far.
To my surprise the boy insisted on doing the math.
I thought young dudes liked lots of penis drawings. 

Parent fail(on my part) .
Planned Parenthood gave me a huge bag of safe sex kits to hand out to folks. I didn't inspect them too much, I been handing out condoms and such since the 90's.
I thought I would use the opportunity to give my boy a condom lesson. I opened a kit, tossed a packet at him and told him to open it, I opened my condom, demonstrated pinching the tip and unrolling it over my hand.
He was having trouble opening the thing. He seemed to be fumbling, stalling and making it harder than it was, unable to open the packet.
I was mortified imagining him doing the same thing, the same way on his prom night. I griped at him to get it together.
Soon he was perplexed and helpless as goo was dripping down his hands.
I asked for it back and realized what a jackass I was.
I told him to open up a condom but what I handed him was lube. I nenox9ed him.
"Class dismissed!"

Hey there friends. Do ya like what we do? If you are in a place to let go some flow, here is where folks donate to the clowns to keep the rubber side down and the smiling side up. Who knows, maybe we will even inscribe donor's names on our bikes. :)

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