Friday, June 23, 2017

Doing a gig for Nikki Brown Clown!

Sometimes we bomb.

That means sometimes things don't go as planned and our show stinks up the place. We could have an equipment malfunction, our gear may not match the stage gear,
We could be in the blaring sun or freezing cold.
A heckler could wreck us or simply a loud conversation nearby. Often we think our fireworks didn't go off but the crowd was none the wiser because they had a great time. We noticed though.
Sometimes the patrons do notice and gripe me out. Mostly people remember the great shows and forget the good or bad shows unless something epic happens, then it graduates to a great show by default.
Once Olive passed out while singing and fell into the crowd (exhaustion/dehydration, she was fine), that was memorable lol.
We have a good bag of tricks to stay out of trouble. We have double speak and tactics to help us control what's going on. Luckily we didn't bomb today's 2 shows but bombing is inevitable, it used to destroy me.
I used to think I was finished after a bad show.
Now we just move on. No bad show is a career ender, stopping the show is a career ender.

Sunday, June 18, 2017

12 hour clown day

We did a 12 hour clown day. Three gigs with little time between. We came home beat...but satisfied to have the rent and child support covered.

Our first gig was charting a kids race doing a show and making balloons at a running event benefiting legal aid. Lots of white collar runners doing the thing and making a difference. I love the passion they all had.

they raised a ridiculous amount of money for legal aid. WIN!

Second gig was the Dadiator games. We performed and made balloon while the most fantastic Dad tournament was going on. It was exciting, they were competing (at parenting skill tests) for some huge prizes.
This was put on by a shop called Seahorses

Then we were off to the next thing.

Yeah baby. Got to do a gig by a toilet BAYBAAAAY! Yup O&D were situated right betwixt the potty and the Alpacas. I see we took the place of the american flag painted bean bag toss game. I don't mind working next to the dumper. I would perform next to a raging tire fire if it meant killing it like we were for these cats. Really hip street party put on by a cider brewery.

 At the end of the day I got both Olive and my portion of freebe foods (she was allergic to all of it) and Olive got all the freebe booze gifts (because I'm an alcoholic.) I love it when a plan comes together.

Thursday, June 15, 2017

Just got $5 from a stranger on the street.

Just got $5 from a stranger on the street.
I asked "do you have a kid that comes to our shows?" Dude says "Nope, this if for being an opinionated prick on the internet, keep it up."
I know he reads me because "opinionated prick" is what I call myself when I'm forced to post something political.
That's not the story I'm bringing though, just the backstory.
I took the $5 and went to my favorite video lottery. I mostly go because I like hearing old people swearing (well worth $5) but if i get a little win, then I can get some ganja.
I didn't win anything. I also didn't lose because they give me free soda and hotdogs plus I'm entertained.
The dude next to me wasn't doing so well. He was losing a lot of money. Every time his game spun he would let out really distressing noises.
I came to find out he was gambling his rent to try and also score money for his prescription meds.
I can't judge him at all. What else is he gonna do? He didn't look pretty or healthy, how else would he get some funds legally?
Soon this poor sap lost a big chunk of his rent and it was hard to hear him so distressed.
As slim a chance as state sponsored gambling is, it's the only thing for many people to have any chance.
The government loves pill companies.
They have a racket keeping meds expensive and the first thing doctors suggest to sick folks.
So what is the solution? It's only gonna get worse.
How can someone who is in bad shape get some money for da pill man?

Wednesday, June 14, 2017

This is what it looks like when I get a catastrophic flat far from home.

This is what it looks like when I get a catastrophic flat far from home. 

I hit a huge pothole the other night and had a fantastic blowout. 
We had fund raised enough scratch to get me new tires but I had only replaced the front. 
The back blew out in the dark at 12th and SE Hawthorne and I had to get it to 39th and Powell (all uphill). 
The longer we walked the worse off the back situation got. I told Olive to go home and I would see her in an hour or two, she refused. 
We walked and talked for a bit, had a nice visit by Mark, We could have asked someone for a ride but we didn't want that. The bike carries me everywhere and now it's time for me to carry my bike.
 After a while the tube parts rolled into the hub incapacitating the back wheel. it's too big to steer and push so I ended up walking my bike sideways on the corner of the front wheel. That's where the balance point was. 

It was the only way to keep the steering and propulsion working together.  This worked but it was exhausting.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             

As we got into our neighborhood, Olive saw me straining and complaining and offered to take a turn. 
I laughed (she didn't laugh). 
She actually took hold of the heavy bike like a power lifter, strained a bit, wobbled and then just like that she was on her way. 
I was impressed. Good one Olive! 
Now I have both wheels replaced and I put the names of the people donated fundage on the new wheels.
 We are very grateful. 
 So if you see some funny antiquated writing on my wheels it's the names of the folks who literally keep our wheels on the ground. 

Thank you Andra, Lyle, Karl, Espen for donating the duckettes for new tire and chain. 
Big thanks to Olive for taking a turn and bringing the Behemoth into the home stretch.
Now my bike is rolling swimmingly well.  Right on!

Saturday, June 10, 2017

Element Series: White Phosphorus

We have been doing a lot of miles on the old tall bikes these days.

We have been doing a lot of miles on the old tall bikes these days. I actually had to train for this season.
We got a flashy car in trade for some dolls this winter and I had gotten a bit soft. Now I log sometimes over 20 miles a day carrying myself, huge bike and heavy gear.
Olive is also a heavily laden maiden with all her stuff.
We are getting recognized more than ever.
We counted 8 interactions in just half a block.
We get a few grumps as well. One dude rolled his window down and yelled "Yer gonna get someone killed" I started riding my bike Behemoth circa 2004 (built by the genius Topher Moore ) and so far that has never happened.
I wanted to say I have a clean safety record dating back a decade but at the next light all I could say into his window was,
"It's cool Mr. Ottastate plate, we totally own this shit Yo."
I don't think I was helpful but it sure was satisfying to say. Then we rolled into a park.
After turning a corner we found ourselves among about 30 native Americans having bbq.
They all immediately started cheering and a circle of men drummed loudly for us.
Their approval means a lot to me, I teared up a bit. That was fantastic, wish we could have stayed and visited with them. Today we rocked a 2 year old's party in North Portland. It's partly sunny partly chilly today so luckily I didn't show up a sweat ball.
Show went great even though it was one kid and a ton of adults. They were all hip to our show so it worked out.
On the way home we had even more interactions with people cheering and carrying on.
We had some Thai food (made the crew balloons) and rode home happy. Now is the fun part, licking each other's wounds...wait, that didn't sound right...
Big howdy to all our friends we saw today as well.
Very sorry we couldn't stop. Big Thank you to the Burke family and TJ Lebay for helping me get my bike conditioned for the heavy duty duty. Also thanks to the folks who donated funds on our web site. That bought new tires and new chain, that was clutch. It's a great town to be a clown.
Like what we do?
Here is our virtual tip jar.

Thursday, June 01, 2017

bike thief

A thief was stripping a bike that was locked to the rack the other night. Suddenly he was interrupted by a burly biker dude who was behind him tapping a baseball bat against the cement. "Split!" the biker commanded and the thief began gathering tools, "NOW!" so the dude split abandoning his kit on the ground. Good lookin' out kind Brotha Biker Man. So in other news we received a donation recently on the form of bike some tools. They are small and delicate, less good for bike maintenance but very useful for rapidly disassembling bikes. I gladly added them to my "drawer of ungentlemanly implements". Life in the big city.