Tuesday, January 27, 2015


My friend several doors away is having drama. She came over bawling, Rootbeer made her some tea and i told her some great comeback lines for her fight...only I'm not confident that she is going follow my instructions to the letter. If she fumbles the meaning it could lose her the fight. She mumbles, I pontificate. Would it be rude to ask a stranger to listen on the phone while a clown injects some devastating arguments but only as an impartial, indifferent, non-combatant vessel for diction, timing, dramatic pause, gesticulation and context? I wish she had an ear piece.

Friday, January 23, 2015

It started out as a conversation about hot sauce.

We were talking about how I  turned a corner about hot sauce after trying my friend Shane's Ghost Pepper sauce..

" So you're Spanish but don't like hot sauce?"
"I'm not Spanish, I never been to Spain."

"Do you speak Spanish?"
"Not much, you would only really hear it if I was kicking you're ass, saving your ass or ordering Mexican food. I grew up talki'n regaler "Merican English."

"Then you are Mexican?"
""Nope, my time in Mexico can only be measured in hours, none of which were spent being born."

You must be Latino?"
"No, I'm terrified and fascinated with ancient Rome but I'm not Latin."

"So do you call yourself Hispanic?"
"I already told you I have nothing to do with Spain, I'm from Texas."

"Oh.. you are a...a.. Taquito?"
"Are you trying to say Tejano?"
"Yes Tejano, Like Selena the Tejano star."
" Correct, but I think The Tejano Star may have been the name of my high school newspaper, funny you know who Selena is."

"Texan huh? Did you have a horse?"
" I had a BMX bike and a surfboard (but if it makes you feel better I named them both Trigger).
"A surf board in Texas?wtf??"
"Yes Texas is situated next to a little thing we like to call...the ocean."
"Ha! Dingo surfs it up huh?"
" Ha yup, 20 years ago. I didn't say I was great at it but I did put my hours in doing dawn patrol."
"Wow, it's like I don't know you."
"We don't know each other, but it was nice talking to you."

Then we spent 10 min. in awkward silence until we came to my bus stop and I got off.


Thursday, January 22, 2015

picking my brain.


Ghost Pepper #17 good stuff

We got a care package from Shane and Amy Bugbee all the way from the Astoria of Oregon. Among the goodies (including zines, stickers and even some high end vanilla) was this hot sauce "Ghost Pepper #17".
 I don't like hot sauce but I love the Bugbees, so instead of waiting to use it for polishing pennies (yeah that's a thing) I decided to tuff up, make some damn tacos and try it out. It was so hot I could see tracers but it was also very good.
 The flavor had three tones the last one being the heat. It was like eating a lit cigarette and somehow enjoying it fully.
Now I'm hip to hot sauce...who woulda thunk it? 
Thanks S&A B! I'm still chomping down (I'm sure it will all come out alright in the end).

Sunday, January 18, 2015

wedding ride.

WestBORO Baptist Church Takes on PDX

 Olive and Dingo Reporting the "goings on" at Moda Center as the Blazers put on their sneakers to play the "Magics" apparently folks with more than "GO Trail Blazers!" signs started to swarm the premises! 
AND Here's what's up: When WBC decided to start picking on the LGBT community boy did they stir up a swarm of bees! First they had to deal with what Rich Mackin calls the "Who's who of Portland Trouble Makers" then had to deal with a huge pack of folks holding signs right where they (WBC) were about to try to reek havoc. This little band of haters went out of the frying pan, into the fire and then into another frying pan where Trail Blazers Fans started yelling "Go Blazers" as they do & a group of youngsters then started blaring unifying dance beats in the cold rain. And Darn it all: the Westboro Baptist Church folks couldn't take the heat. (too much fun) They literally ran away (total time spent protesting: 15 minutes). 

But thank you anyway WBC. You united a large group of loving, accepting humans of non-haters here in Portland who then got to dance & declare their own thoughts about LOVE. No one got punched or sued. It's a happy ending for all. Huzzah!

clown life

Tuesday, January 06, 2015

Go Team go!

We were talking about school mascots. My friend's school has one i think wins them all. No bulldog, no tiger, they chose killer algae, they are a red tide. They don't pounce, stomp, rock em or sock em, this teams plan is all about slowly, deliberately choking off all oxygen until everything is dead. I can appreciate school spirit set at biblical plague.