Sunday, June 22, 2014

Often I get lunch at the local burritrarium.

Typically there are the same Hispanic workmen taking lunch too. They see me in clown drag and make up and giggle at me. I can't be offended, I'm in the biz of making people giggle. What they are giggling at is the parents job not mine. Occasionally I have a companion with me that confuses them as she loves living draped all over her man. But it's rare because Olive won't eat there since she got sick there. Today I threw them a sweet curve. I showed up in full construction worker garb. I sat with them in the lottery room and it was well worth blowing $5 to see them stare at me like confounded chimps. (Is that the gay guy?").It was driving them crazy. Then the final chip in a half a year long game..the waitstaffer hands me lunch. I tell her in near perfect Castillian Spanish "Thank you Madam, The food here doesn't compare with any other. I like this a lot. I'm leaving, see ya later.". BAM the prestige concluded, Fellow lotto suckers silently perplexed. I had to lie about how good the food was because what I told her is ALL the near perfect Castillian Spanish I know. My conversational Spanish speaking is nil but I am a Latino. They now know I know everything that was said. I had to split before I was asked any questions so I dipped out. It was really hard not to say "And I can do the plumbing!".

 I really can construct but today I was rocking the garb because I had to ride a ten speed. Sounds crazy but if I gotta go cross town really fast I take a 10 speed. I found out by accident that car traffic is way nice when you look like a construction worker. Maybe because fines double in work zones or maybe they have better cred than hipsters? Don't know.. but I have a lot to live for and I'm all kinds of hip to life hacks

This is our virtual tip jar if you want to pitch in.

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