Thursday, December 30, 2010

living working loving

Nothing like telling the GF (who just got home from balloon making at Applebees) "I'm done" and she sez "no you aren't" and manually actually finishes it.
I don't mind one fact I love watching her do it.

Sunday, December 26, 2010

I'm no saint but I don't deserve this.

WARNING!!!!ACHTUNG!!!!!CUIDADO...the following is not the regular nutty banter but a real sad story. If you are giggling them maybe you should go take a bath or something and come back when I'm talking about puppies or Kenny Rodgers or Peanut butter pasta recipes or other pleasant things.~

I'm glad... Christmas is over.I don't subscribe to Christianity but this was still a family holiday. I haven't been allowed any contact with my kids since May 28th. No contact like I'm a monster. I spent last night alone in a little room eating fruit loops and really missing my kids. Every morning I wake to nightmares about my ex, every time I try and sleep I have nightmares about my kids. I sleep about 4-5 hours a night trying to avoid those two worst moments. I talked to my friend who is in a similar situation and that helped.
I'm living with all my childrens clothing and toys. I dry my face with my daughters bathrobe every day when I wash and my sons socks are mixed in with mine so I'm sure to pray for him. My kids clothes no longer fit them after all this time but I don't dare throw them out. We have crates of kid toys, books, games and all their stuff. Just like when my wife left me in 07 they got no warning that she was taking them away from me. I asked my daughter how the split up went and she said " My life was great at the Clown House and then one day I went to grammas and when I came back I didn't have a Dad anymore."
Ex lady left with kids, dog and both businesses and didn't tell me where she went for a long time.
This time I refused to hand over some equipment she was demanding. If she had asked I would have totally given it to her. I took my kid to a concert. When I got home her boyfriend had Olive in tears with internet harassment over a photograph. The punishment had begun.
The next weekend the kids never showed. The ex never answered my calls anyway so they lied to Olive instead. We got lied to for months and then got a nasty and yet cryptic letter.
I'm a Dad who for all the years put the kids to bed by hand every night, worked several jobs to keep the bills payed and managed to be a huge part of a positive movement. Both my kids are very proud of me and we have never had a problem.
I don't drink, I have never been arrested, never had to take my kids to the emergency room, I watch them like a hawk, I always pay the child support, I'm around kids every day and the whole town sings to me as I ride by. I only have one room mate at a time and I don't even hang out with cig smokers if I can (sorry stinky face).
I only care to hang out with sober,bright people who are doing something and going somewhere. I'm not perfect by far and I'm no angel but I don't do anything to deserve this.
I was there 24-7 on Ex ladys side for both pregnancies, rubbing VitE on her, going to classes and both kids were born right into my hands. We had our kids in houses together with a midwife near but it was mostly the two of us. I have spent countless hours rocking kids, feeding them scrubbing diapers and teaching them love, afection and kindness. I champion community service, friendship and heroism and I want them to do the right thing. I don't want them to learn to negotiate like Ex Lady from the shadows. They know the truth and she underestimates how clever they are so I think she may have showed them up close how not to deal with things.
Ex lady wishes I was the monster she created...but I'm not. When i come into a room children tend to run to me...not away.
My kids are super tight with Olive too. For a long time none of my family was allowed contact with the kids. Olive called and asked the ex to end the punishment but then the ex yelled at her for being too young and hung up on her.
When my kids held me they did so very tightly like they are afraid they will be taken away from me (they were right). For this I'm not bitter i'm just ashamed and embarrassed and somehow feel sorry for the Ex. I've never sold so many paintings and comic books in my life.
They got ripped from a huge community of friends and family that love them. They missed out on training with kid could have learned a trade ballooning that can make a hundred bucks an hour.
One of my close friends is a woman I want my girl to learn from ironically works for Child protective services. If I was out of line I think this lady would have red flagged me a long time ago.
I miss talking to the teachers, buying my kids school and winter clothes and hearing them laugh. All the legal venues to me were a dead end. If the ex had stolen my bike then they could have done something.
I'm not ashamed of myself or anything I do. I don't look over my shoulder. I stand up straight and I will talk to anyone face to face. Dealing with the ex is a lot of sifting through anonymous hate mail and rude demands. She never ever looked me in the face and told me anything. I don't blame her...she has been telling a lot of tall tales about me. She is avoiding a lot of our mutual friends who know me better than she because what is she gonna say? She can't look them in the face because she can't tell a lie to someone who knows me and sees me every day.
In all those years Ex lady never let any of us meet her Dad. She said he was a monster and a pathological lair among other things. I didn't want to meet she is calling me those same things (and since I'm not any of those things) I'm wondering if the ex lady just has a problem with the man in her life moving on and being happy. I don't need anyone to write back on this...I'm sorry I'm not making you laugh this day. I just gotta tell it so my kids can find this in the future and know that I love them and spend every day thinking about them.
Also when I went to get my coffee i saw a kid my girl's age pick up a waterlogged cig but off the ground and give it to her guardian who lit it and made all our air stink. That made me wonder "Who the hell is watching my kids?"
Without Olive Rootbeer I couldn't handle going through this pathetic madness. But when I remember the contempt that I noticed Ex lady showing to Rootbeer I realize that without Rootbeer this may not be happening at all. Ex lady was never very fun but she got mean and cruel as soon as Olive came into the picture. I half heartedly appreciated getting my wallet back because the irony is that the checks and cash in it are all child support for kids I'm not even allowed to talk to. Pray for me...I need it this time.

Thursday, December 23, 2010

working maintenance on a few buildings today,,,

On break) was working maintenance on a few buildings today and I met this guy with a story...Ya see he lives by a trailer park. In the park was a meth house. He tells me it was very popular. One day meth jerks moved leaving not a trace. well...
The customers still show up. When there is just an empty lot where the day b...efore there was "walking death powder"..they go nuts!
A lady threw herself into his window smashing it!
She was in a panic as she came in and called 911. She looked around crazily and then said "Oh Shit the cops are coming" and ran out the door.
"Hey!!!" my friend told his Craigslist, mouth breathing room mate to start picking up the glass but he just stood there dumbstruck. He left the room mate standing there as he followed her. She ran into Division street into on coming traffic. She was picked up by Portland . The cops told him to go home and they will be there soon. He waited and waited and eventually went back to the cop car. They had let her go. He said that he asked what about the original call and they told him "we let her go , she's flipping out on drugs."
I wasn't there I'm just listening to a story while I clean gratings. My guess is that the police in way out100sumpin and Division have some pressing priorities in that jungle and ya gotta pick your battles.
The man then told me that he had been in the Navy for many years. He is a vet but doesn't qualify for job training,benefits,assisted living, medical...BUT! he said " if i go to prison for a year then when I gets out I would qualify for job training,benefits,assisted living, medical. Problem is he isn't a criminal so he came up with this gambit.
If he checks himself into rehab then when he gets out he will qualify for job training,benefits,assisted living, medical. He has to be willing to get gacked out on drugs the day he goes in because he has to piss positive for drugs to get in the door.
Looks like he isn't into dangerous street drugs but he is willing to compromise his health and well being for the sake of his health and well being. Maybe he knows where the meth truck went.Life in the big city.

I went jogging (really)

I did some stretching , threw on some sweat pants, planned a route and taped my bike light under my chin. It could have been miserable in the freezing cold rain but after rounding the first corner a friend spotted me and gave me a ride.

"The Page of birds" is the biggest painting in the C.R.C.O.D.D.A,O.R.series.

‎ I decided to paint the entire deck of tarot cards in big rubber chix style. This one tells of a coming silly message..

Had an Xmas dream!

I went back in time and had a ride along with some Nordic Raiders who were pillaging abbeys in 793AD.

They issued me an ax that I named "Credit Card".We did a lot of "Shopping" at the "Mall".

I was a bit miffed that there were no Xmas lights, no viking helms, you can't run fast in dreams and waking in a wet pillow.

Friday, December 17, 2010

you can put a bird on something and call it art.

EPIC Last Thursday's Open Mic at Flying Cat Coffee

Sterling is the best Barista because as you can see...he is the devil. No problem keeping drinks hot! Cute girls give him phone numbers all the time (pssst. he couldn't care less about your advances gals sorry he just gives your numbers to Olive and me.)

What is this guy looking at???


Quin never dissapoints...I hope he still plays our open mics after he is old enough to play bars and saloons.

I get my pay from people buying stuff from here. When you go out to my Open Mic eat drink and be merry because I'm really working for you!

Isaiah Brown is a POWER HOUSE!!!!

Inspired by Hells Kitchen Olive created a blind taste test contest. Three random folks were blindfolded and fed different foods. The prize was a Daredevil Comic from the latest store to carry our coloring book (Future Dream Books)It's about a blind super hero. Our good friend and fellow Texan Jimmy Pardo had the taste buds to win.


"Gender Roles"