Sunday, May 31, 2009

Next Wed. I'm using the "A" matierial come see us!





Newbrow Nightlife Now





This Week's Guest Star:

sinferno's succubus of sizzle



and a return engagement from

New York's Reconstructed Chanteuse

and Pain Threshold Artiste


The Patchwork Girl



1 SW 3rd

on Burnside



Welcoming Each Wednesday

Bizarre and Bewitching


From Beyond the Barricades of Normalcy


8pm - Amateur Hour Talent Contest

9pm - Juan Prophet Organization

10pm - Variety Show

11pm to midnight - DJ Jimme Jamma


Also starring:

Burlesque Bunker Buster




rennaissance roustabout


and, on clownhouse arrest




with your hosts


and our loyal house band




Come Early For our


8pm - 9pm

Show us your stuff - it's an audition, an open mic, and a free gig rolled into one!

All Performers Are Encouraged To Apply!


and Stay Late for a Freakshow Dance Party

chupa me chile!

Look pipes that look like chiles!
"chupa me chile!"
In my home town of Beerstain Texas, that was a phrase that would come from a Spanish speaking person who would be making an insult about oral sex.
At the Last Thursday Gig a fella had a small table set up and he was selling small chile shaped pipes that he himself made.
WOW the same phrase apply s but without the insult!
I had needed a pipe for herbs since I accidentally dropped my chillum in the toilette while having a wake-n-bake-n-crap.
THe pipe maker was right next to my jello pit!
I kind of griffted him into handing me a pipe that he wanted $30 for for a paltry $5.
ooops, I couldn't help it,when people do cirtain things it triggers the carnie in me.
when i was a bartender I used to pick pockets, grift people and steal purses a lot. I stole to show them how drunk they are or to entertain and i always gave the stuff back...this is the same deal, I didn't mean to rip him off and I could see in his eyes that he was crestfallen about letting the clown talk him so far down.
I acted like he dropped $25 under his table and handed him the rest of his price.
His eyes lit up and he yelled (in broken English)'You are me FRIEND DINGO!!!!!
I can be a real a-hole sometimes but I never burn anyone.
one of the greatest compliments I ever got was from my ex-girlfriend M.S. who got me a phone in her name AFTER we broke up stating "i don't mind getting you a phone because I know you will pay your bill even if you hate me."
I think it's safe to say I don't hate the woman, I count her as a dear friend.
i made my friend the pipe maker very happy and now I'm keeping my word to him by posting his pipes and giving you his email if you want one.
Louisell is the pipe maker's name.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

it's really hard to move latley...

I'm washing dishes, waiting for them to dry...
After some more chores I'm loading as much as I can on Broadzilla and heading to NE Portland. From where I am it's 12 miles.
In years past I had built a collection of trailors that pulled lots of stuff for us.
Now I'm in a place where I only have the tall bikes so I'm screwed.
In an hour I'm gonna have to make due with the bike and hope for the bast.
Last night we went to work on the bus, that sucks, you can't carry much equipment on a bus and when you are in clown drag, people think you are there for them.
Late at night when I'm going home on the bus dressed as a clown; people bug me to entertain them or ask "Who are you s'posed ta be?" or any number of annoying behaviors.
In those situations I'm forced to scare folks away from bothering me in the first place.
by now, I have no problem telling annoying people to F off but I don't want to because it's bad form. i'm here to make people happy...just not all the time.
I find myself thinking the unthinkable...
Our show needs a car, EEEEEEEEEEEEEEW!
I hate cars so much, almost as much as I hate lawnmowers, I can't be a part of feeding that monster, cars are the death of us (plus stinky factory s, and farting cows, that is}.
I think I may be getting the Behemoth soon, that bike was needing a touch from it's builder Toaster, I'm hoping to see him today at Last Thursday.
Well gatta go, see ya there I hope.
Clown stage:24th and Alberta!

great place to get a burrito on NE Killingsworth

The food tasted fresh and the rice4 wasn't cooked into oblivion.
I think the other cross street is 42nd.

didn't get any photos of the show tonight...just some shots of Maya, Olive and I unwinding .

I just can't shake the feeling....that I like being at home more than at work.

We just got back from Dante's inferno (That place downtown with all the fires inside) olive and I put in a shift as clowns in the big "Sideshow Speakeasy"
We had a great time and our partner Mercury Rising did a swell job.

Kelly Clark showed up with her friends and they all stayed and helped us out with the clowning.

We got paid welland nobody bothered us on the bus ride home.

I still can't shake the feeling...

that I LOVE being at home.

I love being home!
All three of us are hosting Jello wrestling tommorow on Alberta Street!
See ya there!

Sunday, May 24, 2009

a confesion

Back in the late 80s and early 90s sometime, I was in a corporate circus...a big one.
As I was the youngest in the crew, I was the pee-on of the lot. I was hazed like mad by the prop crew... except for one time as the Behemoth Circus lumbered across the country we landed for a rest at a truck stop in rural TN. While everyone was taking a poop brake I grabbed the mic on one of the circus truck's C.B. radios and convinced some truckers that we were a rolling gay bar! Dun dun daaaa.
Being that trouble-makers usually find other trouble makers, it took about four hours before the truckers managed to zero in on some of the bullies in our show.
The men eventually got into a "squabble" that evolved into a "beef" that turned into a "Thing." Where was I? Uh, still in the cab looking and pointin'! I thought they all looked so stupid driving around screaming at each other all about who is a fag and who isn't. While I was sittin back smokin' cigs and eating awful microwave hamburgers.
If I had known we were spending the night I wouldn't have caused such a ruckus. Nobody ever knew or suspected that I caused all that until now.
The Prop crew would eventually become like brothers to me and one time gifted me a save from my boss.
Going from town to town in a semi truck IS uncomfortable. My boss wouldn't let me have a shift in the sleeper so I tied his shoe laces to some knobs while he slept. When the the caravan made a stop at a rest stop in Somewherelsistan USA my boss tried to hop out of be and he fell out of the cab and upside down hanging from his shoe.
He pulled his knife out and cut the laces, falling so hard on his back we all could hear the air escaping him over the traffic and wind. He got up, met me with his eyes('cause who else would it be, right?) and charged at me with the knife. While me, the prey, ran into a flock of prop crew like a frightened baby yak. Mr. Bossy-pants triedto get me, only to be punked by the prop crew most of them wearing intimidating red jumpsuits like the jailbirds do.
Thanks apes! I didn't know it but my boss had sold them wet fireworks in the last town and they were through with him. They made him let me stay in the sleeper part of the big rig as long as I wanted.
I didn't have to get that off my chest or anything...I just want to save older memories before they vanish in a puff of canibinoids.

my children and dog have decided Summer is here...

Last week at Dante's Inferno (click here)for pics and friends

Saturday, May 23, 2009

next Wed. @ Dante's Inferno downtown

WEDNESDAY 5/27 8pm



Cast off


and embrace the twisted limbs of






This Week's Guest Stars

recently seen as Tweedledum and Tweedledee in The Wonderland Circus

Russell Bruner and Scott Maxwell



and our Nubile Neophytes of Newbrow:

ballroom burlesquers


prima contortionista






clownhouse of ill repute

hosted by


with our loyal house band




Come Early For our


8pm - 9pm

Get up on stage and show us your stuff - it's an audition, an open mic, and a free gig rolled into one!

and Stay Late for a

Freakshow Dance Party

spun by


(Sick, Sissyboy, Delicious)


1 SW 3rd

on Burnside


Thursday, May 21, 2009


The boss sets his plan.

Getting the non live music together...

Mr.Creature wears many hats, here he is making the circus music happen.

Willaim Batty introduces Juan Prophet Organisation, this band is huge sounding, very keen I am on J.P.O.

The bucket act.

Mercury Rising came with Olive and I to help us keep our end of the Sideshow running.
The three of us took buses and bikes all around SE gathering equipment and costumage then all bused to Dante's about 3 hours early.
We all sat in the green room and worked out the nights three acts that I was responsible for. I'm so glad we did because all our stuff went off without a hitch.
Thanks MERC!

"Stunt Banjo" con "Mercury Rising" the clown.

150 pounds of amazing woman holding me down in 3" of random broken glass.

Taking a bow

A real life Ringmaster, our M.C. and boss, William Batty

NATI the patchwork girl...the most graceful of nature's cruel mistakes!


Tiger moves knives!

The BUG EATING CONTEST...I ended up joining the race by eating a 75 watt lightbulb, the other two contestants ate silk worm pupa from a can.

I ended up commin in dead last eating my lightbulb, O Well, at least my lightbulb only cost 63 cents, all those bugs cost 3.79 for two cans.

The winner!

The wonderful Cali

Da Bear!...dripping with skills!

Nick Creature is happy ta meet cher!
He is from my homeland and I always want to bring him tacos and burritos.

Bear slackin

Behind the shadows...

NATI the patchwork girl and William Batty

Introducing Olive...Thanks James for taking photos for us while I was on stage, you too Meghan!

What's UP Your Ass?
Here Olive shows the crowd how to play the game by sticking some vicegrip pliers between my butt crack, I guessed it right in seconds flat!

A squeeky whale toy!

A magnafying glass!


Good show, now it's time to go home!

Tired! Too tired to take off her make up before CRASHING!
I feel bad that I have to wake her up to take it off.