Thursday, February 26, 2009

I love raw food and fruit, You can eat corn, yams and stuff raw y'know...

This morning I was peeling an orange.
The fruit felt like there were small marbles rolling around in it.
I peeled slowly from the top and instantly about 40 spiders poured out.
They ran down my arm and spilled out in all directions.
"my that's an interesting turn of events" I shrieked quietly.
Then it dawned on that's an interesting turn of events, I must be frikkin dreaming.
Then I woke up.
I tried L.S.D. in the 1990's...I hated it, hope it's not from that.
Y'know people sometimes say to me
"Yew must be on a lotta acid to do what you do..."
That offends me to the core!
There's no way to even do what I do on beer much less than mind control pharmaceuticals.
I just stick with what grows to treat all my ills accordingly, I never take pills not even aspirin. If I have a head ache I just get some one to put hands on me and massage it out...or take a hot shower!
I thought I found a "roach" in my coat pocket the other day.
I stumbled around in my possessions and found a small clay pipe I threw the treasure in and smoked it, it was a raisin eeeeeew1coff-coff-coff...not bad.
Now I know there are some prunes round here!!

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Where we are in the Space and Time continum...

Where we are
(click above for video)
I want my kids to know where we are.
OH NO the whole world is going to pot!

I love GreenPeace, Click here

Franc has started a company!!!!

Our old friend and clown companiero is back!
Franc is now sporting the General Lee (a tall bike, much celebrated)and look for him doing bike circus stunts this season!
Meantime give him a call to get your hovel done up purdy!

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Olive and I took my kids to Mt.Scott community center and had a wonderful time.
I payed $2 to go roller skating, My boy caught on quick.
We went to a grocery store and ate dinner and then went back to swim, it's a wonderful part of Portland.
My Olive is HOT in a bikini let me tell ya' and it was really fun watching people notice her, i would see some one staring and get in the way waving at them and smiling.
After a half hour i had collected three fellas who give me dirty looks.
My idea to hit the lockers before the closing time rush was thwarted when someone shat in the pool.
I was so close to getting out quickly but since the water was contaminated all the people got out at once and there I was in a crowded locker room, nose deep in hairy!
I was a night of contrasts.

Saturday, February 21, 2009

this is how it works yall...

Hiya Dingo!
it was so nice meeting you and playing at muddy waters. Rachel and i had a blast and both agree that you fantasically work a crowd and it would be amazing if you could officiate/mc the show and my faux-fur wedding to the grizzley bear at our show on saturday May, 2nd. I talked it over with the band and everyone is on board. I will pay you $100 and you (and olive) can stay at my house.

The show is at the Blue Moon Tavern (seattle's oldest running tavern) and we're calling it HULLABALOO at the Blue Moon

My band is called The Sunnyside (we are currently recording and are holding off our myspace takeover) we play like 60's pop rock with a tinge of country. My solo myspace is

The other bands are rabbit skin glue (instrumental surf) and Bandolier (60's pop)

We'd like you (and can olive come too) to work the crowd between sets with stunts and things and officiate the wedding at the end of the night before my band plays.

What do you think? (Please say yes;))

I'm there with bells on Pandi!

Mormons came to the door.

I was nice of course...but I didn't want anything to do with them.
Two well dressed fellas, clean and smiling...blinking.
At first I thought they were the police and hoped that none of the places I work got robbed.
This duo weren't cops...way too pudgy to be cops, these guys are made of puddin.
"Good morning, we are from the church of mormon, do you have a minute to talk with us?"
We all looked at the bible he was carrying and they nodded as if it was the most wonderful puddin.
As I said, "AAW sorry gents, I just woke up and all I have on my mind is coffee."
I thought, "AAw sorry gents yall look so bright I'm dissapointed you are selling such implausible hog wash.
He asked if I was sure that I didn't want to talk with them.
Yes I am sure I want coffee.
I didn't expect them to have had all the adventures I have had and all the learning experiences that I have had.
I understand that it's all they know and it's what some one else put them up to do.
I feel sorry for sorry I can't just tear them a new one.
I told the guys that I was being nice and telling them about "the wanting of coffee" was just the nicest way I could fathom to scrape them off.
Inside I was quite offended, missionaries are the WORST.
I respect everyone's rights to have religion (no matter how silly)I think spiritualism is just as important as physical health, emotional health and mental well being.
It's just when oppressive religions send out young folks to inflict themselves on others I find it offensive.
If you get personal power from a generic source, of course your magic is gonna be McSpirtiualism MAKE UP YOUR OWN RELIGION FOOL!
Nobody can do it for you like you can, I made mine by gathering bits of viking and Pictish mysticism, works great for me.
I find it awful that for centuries they have sent missionaries to Christianize, dismantle, undo, overthrow, enslave and then devour other cultures...yuck!
Now if I opened the door and they were holding some piping hot Jesus Java I would have invited them in and listened to the whole rap before saying "No thank you", thats how the Anarchists recruited me anyways.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009


Olive made me go to the dentist.
She said "If I'm gonna be with a fella 20 years older than me then
he is gonna take care of himself and have good teeth.
Some of you who know my blog may remember posts where she is digging
in my mouth.
She took me to a dentist down town and payed the $99 for an exam and x-ray.
I'm gonna have to pay the $1000 worth of dental work the exam discovered needs done.
I'm not sore at her fer turning me into the tooth doc and I don't blame her, it's an investment.
It's gonna "go down" in a dentist office that's kind of like a spa, real nice.
soft music and aroma therapy all over.
The nice lady put a lead vest on me, pointed something at my head and then FRIKKIN RAN OFF!
I was inclined to run off with her but I'm a brave clowny.
After they x-rayed my face they dipped both my hands in warm WAX then they wrapped a plastic sack over them and put mittens over that.
it was pleasant but I'm a suspicious fool and I figgered if I was gonna be attacked it would be soon.
i was never attacked, those folks are super nice.
The hansom doc walked in talked a bit and then very nicely took a hook on a stick to my gums.
He would stab it and tell numbers to a skribbler person, it hurt like a tattoo in the mouth.
His forecast was that the gum disease has out competed with the bugs that make holes in teeth.
Good news:no cavities.
Bad news: mouth parts are a train wreck, must dry dock pie hole for a heavy barnacle scrape!
clik the title above for some video of the encounter.


wow, my son is so lucky!
First I called my friend O.Brian to ask him to go to OMSI with us and see if his lady Christi could get us in with a OMSI on a guest pass.
AAAw man did my boy, girl and Girl friend Olive had an amazing time looking at the DeVincci exhibit and all the rest of OMSI.
Then as soon as we got to Olives pad we got a full house of well wishers there to wish my son a happy birthday.
It was entirely Olive's wonderful Dad, Mom , two sisters and a brother and Maya's mom brought presents and well wishes too.
There was so much love in the room...and from folks who hardly even know me much less my son.

Happy B day Bruce!

My boy is three!
Happy B day B!
We are having a party for him today.
I was gonna sell him to the gypsy's by the time he was three but after some checking I realized WE are the gypsy's.

Monday, February 16, 2009

"Toaster" brought back an old friend!

Some of you may remember Broadzilla The finest tall bike around and flagship of Toaster's fleet.
The elegant monstrosity snapped after I did a stunt last year and I had to finish the season without it.
I'm still surprised I survived and the crowd has been giving me loads of "Street Cred" ever since.
Click above for some video taken moments before the crash...I'm directing traffic and dancing with Chervona.
Well I made a call to Toaster and after a long winter's nap I was once again 10' off the ground and flying fast!

Others make tall bikes, Dead Bunny and Rabbito are experts at building bikes, others are crappy morons following a trend...I'm a expert moron whoes pants are there!
Thank you so much for bringing this delightful bike back between my legs Toaster!
If I ever get the fleet back together, I'm taking the bike rodeo to Europe!

looks like we had fun at the last show

O mah gawd!
I LOVE MY JOB!!!!!!!!!

I got my children to drink the serum!

Now my diabolical plan will come to fruition...

Hydrated kids!
Click the title above for an American History lesson.

look at this (click here

Sunday, February 15, 2009

The day started quiet with some yoga....some meditation...

Mornings I like to start with a bowl and a cup...she like a good stretch, we both meditate.

then we got on bikes for a ride in the sun....

Found a truck that throws!

And then stumbled into a chariot racing event!

It was fun, after we were all "Chariot-ted up" out we went back inside to enjoy the quiet.
It was a fine V-day!

about Bil

He lived, a lady wasn't paying attention and ran over the bike he was riding...while he was riding it.
He jumped free but she crushed the front wheel.
She didn't want the cops called so she took my man to a bike shop where they got a brand new wheel for the little bike.
Thanks Bil!

Friday, February 13, 2009

OOOOW!Don't put temporary tatoos on your genitals

When the tide is's all good clean fun.
When the tide comes back in...OW!

myspace message....

Looking for Clowns to take portraits of

My name is Mike Perrault and I'm a University of Oregon photojournalism student looking to make portraits of clowns with the intent of creating a clown ethnography of sorts. Clowns, mimes, jugglers, stand up comedians and anything else really as long as it falls within the realm of clowning in one way or another. Clowns, despite being given a bad name, are really important to our cultural heritage and deserve to be documented as far as I can tell.
It turns out that tracking down clowns is more difficult than I'd expected. If you know anyone who might be interested, I'd love to get in contact with them as well.

Mike Perrault

Sorry I can't reply friend, I'm locked out of my myspace account due to "phishing" so I hope you fing this.IF you need photos, I guess you can roll with me, I clown all day pretty much.
"Clowns, despite being given a bad name" what the hell is that?
We don't have a bad name...who you been talking to?

Thursday, February 12, 2009

my friend Bil just called...

I had him fixing and tuning up Olive's bike (that her dad gave her)so she could keep up and be comfortable when the summer bike rodeo season rolls around.
He called because it was done and he was on his way to deliver the 26" speed Mtn bike to our undisclosed location.
Well shortly there after he called again...I could hear a lady with a thick east coast accent in the back ground.
He had been hit by a car and he said the bike was demolished!
Now Bil is no spring chicken friends, his face will tell you that he has been around a long time.
How bad can it be that he would call it "Demolished" it must be really bad.
If it's so bad that it's is he able to tell me the story?
He didn't say he was injured.

Just found out that Conan Obrian was moving on.

New host for the NBC show that has inspired me for so long.
In fact, this summer I'm hosting a show called "Late Show Live"
in front of a live audience.
WOW I bet Conan will be stoked to have a break from being there for us every weeknight.
Good job Conan!
I also found out that DC Comics is "Outing" Bat woman as the first queer super hero.
um....AQUAMAN! Duh.
In my opinion all of the "super heroes" who wore underwear on the outside of tights didn't look homosexual...they just look I could tolerate the ninja turtles if i didn't look at their crotches.


Muddy Waters............730.............29BELMONT........

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Looks like I won't have a house for a bit longer...

Like...till the end of the summer, thats cool.
Thanks to all of you who supported me, I'm
gonna use the money I raised to buy parts
for a new Pie Cannon.
If any of you have a problem with me spending
it in that manner, come talk to me so I can shoot you
with it.
Thanks Yall really from the heart, I was thinking about
it because I'm headed out the door to meet a guy on the street to sell him some shirts.
At 10 buck each he is getting his whole family glow in the dark dingo shirts...
heres the thing...I don't know him or his family.
I love Portland!!!

Monday, February 09, 2009

amazing shot of Olive taking a cannon shot to the face.


I was Fremont the roach...

No Hands

Look who won!

"The Taking Of Pelham One Two Three"

very cool movie!
Click above to watch it.

thank you google maps

I just found all the swimming pools in my side of town, (while theres not so much leafe cover.
Come summer I may even have a map for ya.

I just found out that soy is bad for you...

I found out that T.V.P. is full of M.S.G. and that soy is a mostly G.M.O. crop.
Tempeh and fermented stuff is ok but the white soy is frankenfood.
Found out that milk is bad for you as well as the fist full of vitamins I eat every day...
What the hell do we eat?


Turns out I have my work cut out for me, Frank was a lousy interview.
If he wasn't angry and demanding justice he didn't say much.
Interviewers get spiteful insults or simple yes or no answers, he was grumpy.
I found a piece he did at 22yo or so where he went on a talk show and made his first splash playing the music of two bikes, that's gonna be my starting point.
I have a fantastic 10' bike that is rigged with small mikes and carries it's own amp.
With this and some dancers I know I can make quite the scene doing what he started in the 50s.
Meantime I'm spending an hour or so every couple of days practicing voice and learning about the dude.
My G.F. is learning too and asking me questions that she wants answered as Zappa.
Funny huh?
I'm not there yet but well on my way.

Saturday, February 07, 2009

"Open Mike" the guy that hired me to work at Muddy Waters

I just asked for a raise...he said...

been writing another book

I have written a novel, a bunch of comic books and some zines but I have always wanted to write a magic book.

It's writing is a secret so it's not in English (modern English anyway) I have been fluent in runes and rune languages since the mid 1980s.
This is not the kind of book you's more like a tome to keep around and to use when I need specific focus.

I have tried many times over the years but the truth is, I'm young for a wizard, I still need a lot more years before I can write anything that would stand the test of it's all in acrilic paint and (what else...) Magic Marker!

locked out of myspace

If I haven't returned any myspace messages it's cuz I got hijacked out of my page.
It wont let me send or receive anything until I change my password, I did and now it has no idea who the hell I am.
Sorry yall, I see the messages piling up but can't read them.
Thank you Carly for calling and telling us how to fix Olive's hand, that was quick and sweet, I love this blog.

Olive got hurt at work

Her thumb...I'm sad for her.
I was stealing an act from Low Rent...that he stole from Circus of tiny invisibility...the hot dog catch.
She was trying so hard to activate the cannon (pointed at my face) that she strained her thumb.
It never fired for her...
She ended up standing in front of the cannon and catching the hot dog herself.
Last night she was closing a drawer and touched her thumb wrong and suddenly she was in looked painful.
She is at her day job now telling them they have to get some one else tonight.
I respect her so much what an amazing girl.
She is not a circus pro but I respect her a lot more than a lot of people I see calling themselves "Clowns" and plus she won't leave me for dead like those Alberta Clowns did.
This woman has heart, soul, she is brave and she loves me, loves the work and loves my kids.
And you can bet I won't leave her.

Friday, February 06, 2009


I was thinking about cooking with marijuana.
It's better for you than smoking and it's a different kind of effect...more of a body relaxer.
I decided to make Honey Whole Wheat Banana Bread wiff stickystuff innit.
So I came upon a the moment I didn't have any mary-jane and no prospects of getting any (note:I'm not looking for any now so please don't offer me thnx).
I'm not about to go downtown and ask the local dread locked Farengifor anything so I decided to use carrots in place of the pot in my recipe.
That worked out fine
SOOOOO Fine for an hour after eating the bread it felt just like I had also eaten carrots WOW!