Friday, November 28, 2008

come do this with me!


Dear Friends,
Join us in celebration as Chervona turns 2! It's been great two years, we've found lots of new friends and only in the last year played 65 performances, big and small festivals, clubs, weddings, house parties and of course our favorite Every Last Thursday CHERVONA NIGHT at Alberta Public House! We want to thank you and all our friends for your help, love and support! Please come on Saturday November 29th to Alberta Public house (1036 NE Alberta) to celebrate with us! We are opening the doors at 7:30 for a whole night of music, dancing, fun prizes and surprises.

It's going to be a big night (see flyer), with Chervona playing two times more music than usual and with incredible, Portland's favorite band Trashcan Joe, who played with us the very first monthly "Last Thursday Chervona Night at Alberta Pub" exactly 1 year ago.

Also many our friends, who played with Chervona throughout the year, will join us and perform a song or 3 to keep our spirits high! Among them: Professor Gall, Irish Heather Collins, The Underscore Orkestra, James Faretheewell, Juan Prophet Organization, Uncle Yasha. DJ Big Top & DJ Stupid will keep you and us dancing during intermissions and up till the end of the night.

Hope to see you all next Saturday at Alberta Pub! Long Live Chervona!
For updates and schedule check www.chervona.com

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Not yer mama's thanksgiving.

I slept in Olives bed...wrote a song about it.
I woke up alone in the Kalisti apartment, they had all gone.
My girl was halfway up a mountain with family, I would be there too but I had a gig last night.
My Portland kin are on 29th and Belmont at Muddy Waters, it is after all my living room.
They are feeding everyone today for free and they have the biggest spred.
I'm honered to be considered family here...none of us are related but we still live and love each other and have for more than a year now.
My kids are in Battle Ground WA. with some grand parents...good for them.
Theres no Football here at Muddy's just my mountain bike sitting in the rain.
Theres no seasonal music on the big house speakers, it's Metallica, Smashing Pumpkins and Tool, it's LOUD!
Not all the herbs will go on the turkey, I'm sure we will be smoking some later (YAY!).
I'm thankful for friends, family here, Texas Family who miss me, future family and future friends.
I'm thankful for my rich life here in Portland, theres never a dull moment unless I want one.
I'm thankful that I lived long enough to master my movements through time and space (as I know it)and I'm sure glad I found the key to making my own luck.
I'm thankful I'm a self starter and glad I'm in good company.
I'm also thankful that you are reading my blog.

I'm hosting this on Sat. (Click me)


I'm such a fan of Chervona and all the community that turn out to hang out with them.
It blows my mind that I get paid to entertain with them so much...I would do it for free if I didn't have two kids, a dog, a bike, and an addiction to monster themed breakfast cereal.
They are why I chose "Red" when I picked a "Goin ta meet the parents suit" last week.
I knew I may need to wear red when working with our Slavic friends.
I hate myspace but I will direct you to Chervona's, listen to the second song "Reality Show" you will see why I'm a fan.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

click here (my spiritual trip is a lot like this one)

Hope you can play UTUBE videos, I have been around some smart computors...smarter than me anyway. I'm sharing what i study with you.
I really like this fella, he is the same religion that i am, I'm searching for a sacred grove o my own to ponder and enlighten in.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

My first rock star hero was "Bowzer"


From Sha-na-na, I was about 6 years old and the grandparents were fans.
That was San Antonio Texas in 1974.
WOW, this song blows my mind, I have had it in my head for weeks, also click the title above and see some of how inspired I was even back then.

Monday, November 24, 2008

'm back from Dante's

OK so I didn't end up having a proper line up... so I worked with my ex wife Caffeine Jones .
Caffeine got word that circus sideshowgod Jim Rose would be in the crowd at Dantes Synferno laz night AND da wall came down.
Twas quite the feat in itself. Typically asking her to work with me is a fruitless endeavor. I feel like I'm a conglomeration of her ex-husband's worst traits
and her dad, All bad things-- lots of baggage there.
Okay so here goes (deep breath): Last night I gathered my children and loving companion Olive, and we went to my Caffeine's brothers house for a feast.
That was cool of Olive to join us and even sing along when the whole family gathered for a jam fest.
After a great meal, we loaded two bikes, I kissed my girl and we set off to downtown Portland.
We rode in silence mostly. We have done this so many times (riding to shows whilst packed with gear) Usually it's a loud affair full of clowns and fun, this was quiet and methodical--almost clinical.
We may have said everything to eachother during our 10 year marrage, so be it, we got there fine.
As we walked our bikes in, Jim Rose walked by, I didn't say anything to him or Caffeine but I was glad to have been able to meet and thank him for his inspiration to me during a meeting last week.
As we entered the venue the door folks and staff all knew my name and flagged me through the crowd. I was impressed at how tight the Dante's crew is.
As I walked, the staff kept saying "Hi Dingo, the dressing room is that way" real friendly.
On the big stage, mostly nude, highly decorated women danced with fire in the smoke filled room.
I smelled the fog cookie and had an idea Caffeine would be sick from it, she was, but she sucked it up.
Rudy is the stage maneger, he introduced himself and asked what I needed.
I said "Well I'm going to need a bucket of freshly broken glass for this pretty girl here to stomp me into".
Without a pause, he dashed upstairs and half an hour later returned with a bucket and some bottles.
Caffeine and I went out into the alley and found a bunch more, we broke them into the bucket and returned to the darkly
flame lit club.
I saw a man with two fire torches on stage doing a fine dance. He was covered in blood and wearing only a bananna hammock. I didn't have a chance to meet him but seemed really nice.
So there I was, under the Sinferno, Ringmaster Noah growling his banter, introducing sexy act after sexy act.
For hours I was surrounded by hot naked woman in that dressing room, they were stretching, dressing, gossiping and hanging out.
I am a full grown human bull-male; I have lots of sex drive and a strong will. I was getting lots of compliments and flirty looks. I thought, "I could have got a couple of dates out of that gig"-- but Y'know what...All I could think about was Olive.
Being in love with someone who loves you back the same ...is out of this world to me AND all I need to be happy.
I hear that I sound like I'm talking myself into it but I'm just dealing with a new thing that I don't know how to introduce to this world.
Anyway: My favorite act was Nick Creature and Barnaby the dancing bear. They were skilled and funny as hell.
I also took notice of Kyoko the arialist. The sweet gymnist looking lady was visably shaken by the two danceres (Porcelin Twins) on da stage, marching around dressed as chiniese military and wearing big exploding cocks.
"I don like dat" (she peeps)
She took the stage high above the floor suspended by two long red pieces of cloth.
It was the most amazing act: the talent was rich. She slowly spun into the cloth and commanded it to lift and drop her into fantastic contortions. The manuevers and poses were not tricks. They looked like a way of life.
I grinned and I looked at R.N. and said ' That lady just made all the strippers look like bitchez." One of the strippers was in ear shot and agreed with me. Heh heh heh--
Ringmaster Noah argeed too and told me "The crowd wasn't getting it tonight", and said it's his job to get the crowds energy back to where we want it.
It's a tough fight to know that all the crowd wanted to see was tits and they didn't respond as well to the circus stuff. (..I'm glad my act had tits in it.)
I was downstairs for Barnaby bear and creature, I could only hear what the mics picked up... I can only guess the crowd loved them.
It's odd, sometimes the crowd seems dead but then you get great gigs out of it later. I hope that this is the case.
During our turn, we got into the spot that leads up a tall bank of stairs and to the stage. All I can say is that it's big, loud, bright and packed with the kind of people that you may think would show up at Dante's Sinferno.
Ringmaster Noah was curled up in a human question mark as he elegantly howled my introduction, silently and in the dark, Caff and I took positions.
My name was said as I slid the bucket of glass ahead of myself and walked onto the stage between Noah and Caffeine.
I cant tell you what our act looked like...i was working, they did laugh at all the right times and they were delighted to see Caffeine strip while standing on my chest which was imersed in a bed of glass.
I remember thinking..."My, I havent seen this much of Caffeines crotch since our son was born." Maybe it was the glass slicing into my back (it's not a trick, it's a stunt) the smoke machine pumped fog and it looked like a battle field with all of our props littered on the stage.
We hadn't even tried to rehearse, although we did talk about the set the day before and quickly went over it again when the venue was in sight.
Guess what??? We did fine. Caffeine was happy. I wont tell you all that happened except for-- Rudy paid me, I met up with Twitch in the parking lot and gave him my pay as a down payment to build me another tall bike.
Caffeine loaded her ride and went to St.John's, I loaded up and went back to the kids house.
There you go friends, a gig in the life of a chaos clown!

Sunday, November 23, 2008

4144 SE 60th

Coffee Lovers cafe, my fave on this side of town.
I'm with my son and Olive, we are getting ready for the show tonight at Dante's 3rd and Burnside.
I still need costume parts and a solid line up.
I'm pleased to be working with Noah Mickens again.
Next weekend you can see me do the same act at the Alberta street public house, I'm M.C. at the Chervona birthday bash!
I'll tell ya more later.
Go see Lisa at Coffee lovers and say I sent ya!
Coffee Lovers‎
4144 SE 60th Ave, Portland, OR‎ - (503) 775-3476‎

Saturday, November 22, 2008

bad ass cartoon click this


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=by3FVKdaQyE&feature=related

find the Dingo

Where are the chicken paintings? Nathan's art show in North PDX






Rumpspankers (Village Ballroom)
700 NE Dekum St.
Portland, Oregon|38 97211

Here are a few, I don't know where the rest are.

Rumpspankers
Lily Pad Lounge
(Village Ballroom)
700 NE Dekum St
Portland, OR 97211
Opening Reception
November 21st 2008
6pm closing

A collection of odd fellows is a monthly rotating group show of Portland artists. Odd fellows assembled together to ignite the flames of friendship, love and truth. Featured this month are mixed media paintings, woodcuts, sculpture and rubber chickens. Interpreting experiences and emotions related to a sense of strong affection. Exploring the complexity of how to define truth and discover whether truth is subjective, relative, objective, or absolute in relation to the cooperative and supportive behavior between two or more beings. This collection is eclectic in it's manifestation and is strangely surreal in its entirety. Please join all the wonderful artists involved for an evening of fun, relaxation, admiration for beauty actualized.

Featuring:
Chris Haberman, Sara Cella, Caramia Cherie, Sarah Cruse,Dingo Dizmal, Katie J. Evans, Terese K. Kersey, Laura Lamoureux-O'day, Warren Smith, Nathan Bennett

The boy is better

My boy was so sick last night, his sister was scared and he was feverish.
Olive (my partner) and I stayed up with him, regulating his temp and sopping him with a clean warm towel.
This morning, he got up and was his normal, loud-ass demanding self.
I'm so glad he pulled through.
Today I have to rehearse the new and improved "Stunt Banjo" act for this Sunday night at Dante's.

post from a few months ago

Thats a miracle, people in Portland are too cool!
I was at the Bellmont street fair busking, made a good amount of cash, that was good.
I opened my house bike for people to see, just for fun.
I talked to the local Land Use Commisioner, he had NO problem with me living in my house bike.
Thats the cool thing about Portland, I was at a street party talking to two local commisioners, one was on a bike
and the other fella was removing Street Closed Signs.
They want to call me soon, I guess to help them educate the neighborhood about the Electrical Sub Station thats on Belmont.
The power company plans to buy the three houses that stand next to it and make the station much bigger.
Theres nothing anyone can do about it, I wonder what they want me to do for them.
When the new sub station is built, I bet I could pop popcorn on it's fence.

Rev.Phil's bike porn tour!!!(click here)


If it wasn't for this guy, I may never have had sex on stage in front of a roaring crowd.
I was already with the two girls and the bike, just not in front of a hundred or so fans.

Friday, November 21, 2008

Bruce is sick

Damn, my boy is ill, I think it's about the wrong juice he had today.
Now I'm upset because I don't know where they keep a thermometer or if they have one at all.
He is HOT HOT HOT poor little dude.
I'm sitting up all night with him and his sister is being really helpful.
Olive called, she is on her way here with a thermometer, what a gal.
Things can be tough sometimes round here, they are still short $35000 to buy the house.

I like both, I'm such a metal head

scorpions
Yngwie

open mic went swimminglly well

Amazing crowd, lots of love, a belly dancer and food food food!
I met with Ringmaster Noah and met Jim Rose yesterday, i guess
I'm doing my stunt banjo act for them at Dante's Inferno this Sunday
night for the Sinferno.
What a great break for me, I went to meet them as my girlfriend was buying me a chicken suit online with her credit card.
Yesterday was a fine day indeed.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

what a ride last tue.

Olive and I woke up and decided to cruze the house bike up to North Portland to see Nathan (the circus GIZMO guy)B. he is a hell of a guy.
It was the first time she had ever gone the full way with me, the house and lots of miles to cover.
It was a wild ride at best and we had so much fun crossing Portland and meeting new people all along the way.
Once there , we hung out in his lab, cooked food and went through old circus stuff and fotos.
We had a nice evening in the house bike watching movies and cuddling.
Next day it was Rumpspankers cafe for coffee and waffles, then off to head back to deep South East.
Nathan had built new parts for the rigging system of the house bike while we stood around talking and it worked great.
I let Olive buy the breakfast this time because I had run out of money.
I usually dont let her buy anything (I want her to save her dough) but it was pissing her off not to be able to pitch in.
I always have more than a couple of nickles to rb together but I spent a bundle on getting my two kids good, new rain boots, a bull whip, and a pink monkey costume.
I was glad to go broke on that mission.
When we got to Olive's house Maya was there and we decided to have a feast, we got lots of raw foods and some dark chocolate from the grocery store.
This gave me an idea, we melted the chocolate in a bowl and I took Olive's shirt off.
We put lots of hot, melted, chocolate on her breasts.
There came a delema that none of us had thought of...that stuff needs to "set up" to become a choco bikini, it was dripping all over.
She went outside in the cold night and breezed her boobs, ...no workie!
Then we took a chair and she put her boobs in the freezer EUREEKA!
Maya and I had a blast licking the chocolate off and then it was all about showering, that stuff was sticky, sticky fun from heaven.We have been together every day for months having great times and creating memories of a life time.
I wish I had a camera working for that event.

Monday, November 17, 2008

I will!I willl I will!

Show full header
would you like to perform at CHERVONA B-day party, Nov29 Sat, Alberta Pub?

Dingo!

We are putting a big celebration of Chervona's 2 year birthday and 1 year
anniversary of Chervona Night Party at Alberta Public House on Nov 29th
Saturday.
We'd love to invite you to the celebration and couse you were a part of it
last year and to have you perform a number on stage for everybody.
A simplified version of your group or solo act is great too. We'll try to
arrange stage that it would have drums and amps and microphones for all the
guests to share.
Just let me know what you need. We have 2 headliners for that nigh:
Trashcan Joe (who started it with us 1 year ago on Nov 29 of 2007) and
Chervona that will play 2 sets.
We'll have time for casual celebration and guests performances from 8-10
pm.

Please let me know if you 'd like to perform, so we put you on the flyer or
if you 'd just like to come and have a great time with your band members
and us, so we can put you on the guest list
.
Please contact me before next week Wednesday, so we can finish flyer soon
and put it all over the city.
Thank you!

Sunday, November 16, 2008

went to Sandy OR.

Met the "rents" in Sandy of Olive, my partner.
I can see how my girl is so attractive, her whole fam was awesome and stunning.
I don't think I would want to live in Sandy, it's quiet there, I hate that...a loud ass like me can't make any money in a sleepy town, not after "opening nite" anyway.
Rule is, freak show can only do well in a small town the first few nights, a circus can wear out its welcome quick.
Last night the town came out to the local high school to see "Annie get your gun".
She had three siblings in the show and it was COOOL!
Theydid it up, I think anyone should go to Sandy and see the kids tell the true story in musical form.
The parents were nice and kind, they had an open mind about the man thier kid brought home that was as old as them.We all ate Lasagna together and got to know eachother.
We love each other in the end thats all that counts.
She likes being respected and learning my secrets, I like that she has no baggage, don't drink or smoke and won't let go of me.
We decided that we Really like each other, we may create a new last name for ourselves...been playin with the name Abdomin.
I went to Hawthorne street to get a meeting the rents suit, it was $45, then I went to my girl's work and busked outside for a few hours to get the money back, it was dead.
I didn't mind the slump, I had a lot on my mind, I played banjo and hid when people walked by, 5 or 10 bucks isn't gonna change my night one way or another.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

wallet came back!

Magic is real, I did a spell with my honey as well as asked my mom to pray for me,
I decided that it would be much more easy to conjure my wallet back than to get a new one.
I wont tell how my spell went but I hear my wallet changed hands a few times in 2 weeks and eventually found it's way back to me.
It had no address in it save for the one at the Clown House.
Thanks for all who helped and plrayed for me.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

sugar and gasoline...I lost my wallet and ID!!!!!

Life is like both nowdays, instead of good and bad, it's great and awful...well, I really can't complain.
On the day we got a new president, I got a tattoo, (unrelated) it's of an olive wearing a top hat.
I got it done by my friend Sage who has a tat studio in South East, odd that I did that, I usually hate tattoos on anyone outside of the pit fighting ring but I wanted this one for spiritual and emotional reasons.
Sage is the same religion that I am and about as old so he was the choice for me.
Sage under charged me, so I over tipped him (Thats the "Portland Hook up" at it's finest) and anyhow I ended up with only about $6 in my wallet.
I think I was off guard being in the company of "miss O" the subject of my tattoo, being in love can be debilitating sometimes, I lost track of my wallet.
Now I don't have I.D. or debit card, SHIT!
Subconsciously I guess I thought my wallet was worthless without money in it but it now SUCKS!
How can a gypsy-clown find proof for another I.D.?

kate the biking-beekeeper

i lost your info while removing spam, please re-send your info ok?
She harvested 4 gallons using only a bike.
She wants to start a bee keeping collective, i agree.

Thursday, November 06, 2008

House bike looks cool in front of the window

There is a painting of me on the front window of the coffee shop I'm working at tonight.
My place looks cool up there.
It's 1st Thursday, that makes my numbers go down...it's raining and dark, that makes my numbers go up.

yeah, comedy is hard, eat honey!

It's easy to make people laugh, just try and flush your foot down the toilette and people will laugh at you...now, will they pay you to do that?
Not usually, no, they won't usually pay you to be a moron, those jobs are rare, most of the time you have to have talent and or skill to add to your stupid human tricks.
I get a good wage as a clown but it mostly goes to my children's upkeep and I have to do other things to make my own money.
As most of you know, I am a self starter, I build empires and watch them crash, I invest in things and start buissness when that isn't panning out, I'm not afraid to dig ditches, I busk, I have sold dog treats for many years all over the north west and sold a lot of my art work.
I like to make money because it buys time to concentrate on skill building and money equals spending time with my kids and girlfriend,the biggest joy of my life.
My motto is...
"You won't full fill your dreams by making some one else's dream come true."so I work for myself...always have, you should too.
Here is the company I'm investing in this season...HONEY!

I have some friends, bumpkins really, who live near Mt.St.Helens, a nice community of really giving people, they keep Bees!

Here is what I'm offering you; BAD ASS Honey!!!!
three kinds
Spearmint
Black Berry
St.Helens Flowers

The spearmint flavor bakes off and keeps baked goods moist.
There are mad health benefits to honey, as you may know, but did you know that local honey helps your body fight local flu bugs?
So email me if you want to fork over $14 a quart and I'll get it to you quick.
FRESH HONEY FRIENDS!

i'm amazed

My girlfriend hung out with my kids while i went to work...

what an amazing concept...
I also noted this evening that when I'm in a house, I'm colder than in a house-bike.
I think adventure keeps you warm.

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

Edgar Winter Group - Frankenstein

wow! never knew that the song i have loved for so long had such a cool show.
click above and watch on full screen, sound at9
his site:
http://www.edgarwinter.com/home.php

i'm so un-upset





this is awful...
last week, my bike fell off the roof of my house-bike and happened to kill a slow moving squirrel
There were two witnesses from the neighborhood who happened by...and now they think I'm a butcher and they warn kids away from me.

JibJab - From the Fridge: Pumpkins Halloween

funny

Sunday, November 02, 2008

Calling All Mustache Growers!

The Portland chapter of Mustaches for Kids (M4K PDX) is gearing up to launch its second year of raucous facial hair growth for charity! We're holding our official Info Session on Thursday, November 6 at 7:00pm at Vendetta (4306 N Williams Ave). Come by to catch up with last year's Growers, get important mustache updates from your chapter organizers, ask questions about the upcoming Growing Season…and drink beer. Oh yeah, and bring your friends. The kids need them.

The Vitals: M4K is a volunteer-run organization that does good and has fun by growing mustaches for children's charities. Really. From mid-November to mid-December M4K PDX Growers will cultivate sweet mustaches and solicit pledges from friends, family, coworkers, and community members. Kind of like getting pledges to run a marathon – without the exertion, cramping, or dehydration. Call it a facial hair marathon.

During the month-long Growing Season, we'll meet at local bars on a weekly basis to check in, compare progress, and inspire donations from envious and awe-struck onlookers. This year we are pleased to be partnered with DonorsChoose.org, a nonprofit organization that funds projects at underserved public schools right here in Oregon!

Here's how it works: you grow a mustache, your sponsors donate money to projects that move them, and underprivileged kids get the learning resources they need! To top it all off, the Growing Season will culminate with the 'Stache Bash – a cross between a dance party, beauty pageant, dog show, and police line-up that will culminate with the crowning of Portland's Sweetest 'Stache.

Everybody wins when you grow a mustache for charity.

So be sure to come to the Info Session to see if you have what it takes to compete for Portland's Sweetest 'Stache and raise money for the kids! What better excuse to grow a furry new friend on your upper lip?
'Stachely Yours,

Chrissy & Sarah, M4K PDX Chapter Organizers

Contact: m4kpdx@gmail.com
Check out the M4K PDX site for updates: http://portland.mustachesforkids.org
DonorsChoose: www.donorschoose.org
Mustaches for Kids Main Site: www.mustachesforkids.org


Calendar of Events for 2008 M4K PDX Growing Season (7pm unless otherwise noted):

* November 6: Info Session at :Vendetta, 4306 N Williams Ave
* November 13: Clean Shave Day at Bishops Salon, 1011 NW Everett, 7:30pm
* November 20: Checkpoint 1 at East Burn, 1800 E. Burnside
* November 27: Thanksgiving day- We will not be meeting this week, but it is a good day to solicit donations from whomever you share dinner with.
* December 4: Checkpoint 2 at American Cowgirls, 500 NE M L King Blvd
* December 11: Checkpoint 3 at Slabtown, 1033 NW 16th Ave
* December 18: 'Stache Bash at Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison (time TBA)

boring night

I spent the night sans girlfriend,...baaaaaah!
She had to work and I had to move house, too bad for us.
We havn't spent a night apart in a long time, it sucked we share a very hot fire, close passion and incredible love affair.
She has ruined woman for me and I ruined men for her...I love it.
I did have some fun, I sat in my house bike and listened to the rain heavilly hit my roof, I contemplated the warmth of my home and the fragility of life.
The human body is fragile, so is my house bike, somehow we trudge on through the bean mud and the rain.
I prayed for a sick friend that I miss a lot, she takes good care of herself and I'm sure she will be fine.
I prayed for the punk house thats dealing with ownership of a collective house now.
I prayed for Muddy Waters Coffee House, they too went throught changes.
Last Thursday night as I was clowning for the crowds, the employees quietly negotiated with the owner in the back of the shop.
Muddy Waters is now a worker owned collective, out of the buissnes world and into the hands of the community.
Four of the employees are working almost for free throwing most of thier wages back into the collective and living on tips.
Now
In the same month,the punk house and the coffee shop in my life have broken free of "The Man" and are the property of the "People".
Myself, I'm looking twards N.E.Alberta street for my golden goose, I have always been a "Free Agent"(save for the ten year marrage to C.J.)I'm only wanting for a castle.
Funny, I prayed for everyone else from my exgirlfriend's mom in Alaska to my own mom in Texas but forgot to pray for a castle Keep.
Maybe you can pray for me.

Saturday, November 01, 2008

remember i told you about the bean spot?

I'm pulling anchors and heading to that spot again.
If you recall, last month; I found a unexpected road hazard in the form of about 100lb.s of soaked, pinto beans.
Weeks ago, some nice folks thought I am good luck and encourage me to stay in the yard by the house they live in.
They left me food, goodies and magical symbols outside my door, they invited me to stay as long as i liked.
The spot where my house bike fits was once the scene of a terrible bean spill.
The beans made good gravel in fair weather, my tires stuck to the ground well.
Unfortunately the beans make a stinky mud in the rainy season.

"Bombshell" Soft Gingerbread Cookies



I'm calling them "bombshell" because right now, I'm watching a nude "Bombshell of a woman" making them for us...what a way to spend an afternoon!
Starting with...
* 2 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
* 2 teaspoons ground ginger
* 1 teaspoon baking soda
* 3/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
* 1/2 teaspoon ground cloves
* 1/4 teaspoon salt
* 1 1/2 teaspoons Ener-G egg replacer (or similar product)
* 3/4 cup margarine, softened
* 1 cup white sugar
* 3 tablespoons soy milk
* 1/4 cup molasses
* 2 tablespoons white sugar

Preheat oven to 350F. Sift together flour, ginger, baking soda, cinnamon, cloves, salt, and egg replacer. In a separate bowl, cream together sugar and margarine, and then mix in the soy milk and molasses. Slowly stir in the dry ingredients until mixed. Spoon the dough into small balls and roll the balls in the remaining sugar. Place on the cookie sheet several inches apart, flattening slightly. Bake for 8-10 minutes.
Remember;cookies are fattening so you will need to make love like rock stars for at least 1 hour after eating them or you may not feel so good.

I had fun



I hear my son wasn't so keen on holloween, for him it sucked.
He didn't get the idea that; you go door to door.
Each time he went up, he wasn't let in, so he cied.
All the kids that came to his house and knocked...didn't stay...W.T.F??????
He went to bed crying LOL poor dude, better luck next year when you can wrap your head around it.