Saturday, March 29, 2008

don't forget to lay in the grass

How to...
I'm getting so much crap email, it's stuff I can't imagine people ever using.
So I'll clear this up right now.
If you want to look down and see a bigger penis, cut off your pubic hair!
If you want to get trim, happy and healthy, don't take stress pills, just eat right and move around a lot,
feed your brain while your at it and don't forget to lay in the grass.
If you want sex to last longer, wear two condoms and blast spanish language soap operas.
I do respect the nigierian email scams because they work, I always admire a good ruse but I hate getting caught in the cross fire.
Um also...if you arn't motivated to do laundry, don't take speed "Vitamins" just crap your for me.
My back is bugging me so much I'm thinking of taking a pill or two, pills of the over the counter type.
Actually I still wont take pills, I plan to take a long bath and stretch some more.
"The Grope" got here today, he just drove in from Texas (near where I'm from) and reported for duty, I called him the Grope because of the way he gripped the ground when on a bike I thought was too small for.
I wish he was called "Grope" because he was so good at rubbing backs.
Do I sound distracted?
I asked an oracle and the answer was as follows:
O:"Dingo, remember when you were 4 years old?"
D.: no
O:Ok you had to take a shit but were too stupid to go to the bathroom and thus was a real asshole to all the people closest to you until you finally went, after relieving youself, you were a teddy bear...till you had to poop again.
Dingo, find someone to rub your damn back."
I usually avoid that Oracle, it's a jerk, sometimes you get chicken, sometimes feathers.
Speaking of feathers, with the Grope here that makes three circus workers in my crew, we already started wheels moving for a spectacular spring season for the Blood Sugar Circus.
Speaking of rope...I cleaned my closet out all weekend and shifted all my stuff around, it was fun and something to do while in the dumps.
I found out I have a BUNCH of rope, all sizes and shapes, seems like if someone wanted me to I could tie them up in the most cartoony way, I'm looking.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

lady clothing....

Changed my bedding doing laundry today, out popped a black woman's top.
Used to be finding lady garments in my my room made me wonder "Who to give it back to?" , this time
I know exactly who left it and when.
Y'know what makes me feel good?
Classical music and witchcraft, I'm reely sophistamacated when I'm single.
With a partner, I want to feel good by spending a day, mostly in bed, drinking coffee, smoking grass and shagging like animals while the TV blares 4 hours of the show Cops.
I love the idea of screwing my sweety in front of an old TV showing shirtless red necks getting busted hitting each other with sticks.
I have rebuilt my temple again in my own image but I still leave a drawer empty.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

I had a great time with my kids!

my kids:
RPM (the girl)is such a rock star, I love her so much.
The boy...well he drives me crazy, he's a menace with a huge smile.
he grabbed a contraband piece of gum Sunday,RPM spotted him.
"He's got gum Dad!"
"Get em kid!"
Gum is bad for a two year old, this is a fella who has no problem sneaking into the kitchen, throwing some eggs out of the fridge, when I go deal with that he shoots across the floor and starts eating the cat food.

I grab him (still with eggy rag in hand) as his diaper explodes human excriment down my arm, gum is not for him.
RPM ran at him, he looked at me, he looked at her and before she hit him, he threw the gum out the window.
I was pretty worn out and angry at that point but I had to laugh, I didn't stop laughing all weekend, by Sat. night, the worst was behind me(so to speak).

The little girl lost a tooth this weekend, I out bid the tooth fairy AND her moms paltry offerings with a shiney $5 bill.
I got one of her mom's toenails for free back in the day, I put my new tooth with it and some other small mammle parts I keep in a box.
Bruce impressed me by learning to wash his apple...thats not a euphamism, he dropps his apple a lot.
I went and walked my dog the other day and smelled Dawg Snax baking both things I havent done in a long time.
maybe I'll start another company geared for rat treats, I suppose I would have to give away a lot of free rats first.
The Grope is due to be here soon, in a few months time some circus friends will be filing into town, get ready yall, it's gonna be a wild ride!

Spring Showers

Don't it suck when you don't expect someone to break up with you?
You didn't know it was gonna happen therefore you also didn't know the last time you made love that it would be the last time AAAW!
The end of a romantic union is kind of like "The Quickening", sure it's painful, I'm feeling it, but you get a benefit from the person just by sharing intimate space.
It could back fire, this time it didn't.
I've never been into breaking up as much as working stuff out but I also don't want to be an a "mutual misery society" I must say, it's dissapointing to lose that love.
I'm hard wired to be someones strength, back up, advocate, and partner, I don't like making great strides and having no one to share the bounty with.I want the person to deserve my adoration, I want to deserve thiers.
I had a great time!
We went to another country, we shagged six ways to sunday, we had great talks and she was involved in an odd occurance.
I offered to help her tie loose ends at her apartment when she moved out of SW portland, I was getting my bike "Broadzilla" and she had asked me to bring her broom and small vacume to her new place in South East P town.
I tied my lasso around the brooms and made a belt to strap them to my back sword style.
I then rode the long trip through downtown and up the big hill to Hawthorne.
While crossing one of the big bridges I looked at our magnificent city, saw the broom with the river behind it and a voice told me "Hey fellah? ever hear of a broom riding a witch home?"
that was rad.
lessons were learned, it's hard not to.
With each love encounter we share, we walk away with a sometimes hidden programing from that person, it may not surface for years but you always learn something.
New thinking?
For me yes.
Now as the dust of a great romance is settling, I am reaping some good habits.
My teeth have never been cleaner, I'm more discriminating of potential mates.
making sure I'm respected before I feel, dissed, punked or forgotten.
I also now know to watch that I don't project passed heart breaks on new challenges.
I like the sunlight now (in moderation) 6 months ago I did everything I could to avoid sunlight.
I also began appreciating the cat that "came with" my room...didn't see that coming, I don't like living with cats.
I think I should just go back to dating pornography.

The tears are drying, the sun is shining, it's a great time to be a rock star in Portland.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

How about this?

Do You think this should fly?

Two months away...

Save the Date: Saturday , May 17th
Who's Who of Bike Culture Parade/Pretty Dress Ride
at the Alberta Art Hop (parade starts at 3 pm, NE Alberta St, location start TBA, we'll gather at 2:15-2:30)
Easy ride with a CAPTIVE AUDIENCE down 15 blocks of Alberta St. Then a picnic in the park!
Co-leaders: Carye Bye and Jenny Fosmire (make us proud!) Carye is at bikebat[at] or 503-248-4454
More info about Alberta Art Hop:
Just a month before the madness of Pedalpalooza begins, let's shine up our hottest bikes and parade ourselves down Alberta Street to show off the who's who of Portland bike culture!

Join us in Pretty Dresses with Kazoos* (Previous pretty dress ride photos here:
*cheap kazoos provided, bring quality ones if you have them


Ride with your favorite bike culture clan. We'll be contacting you - or contact us!
Our dream is to have all of the following represented, plus any more!

1. Pretty Dress Bicyclists (Shift to Bikes: Bike Fun)
2. Move by Bike (couches, mattresses, tall obnoxious piles of stuff!)
3. Zoo Bomb mini bike/chariots
4. Tall Bikes/Drop-out club
5. Clowns Bikes
6. Local Handmade Bicycle builders
7. Belligerante Schwinn gang
8. Unicyclists
9. Families on Bikes
10. Messengers - Cargo bikes
11. Sprockettes (Is the male dance-bike team ready yet? Debut???)
12. Bike Tricksters/ BMX
13. Trash Mountain Boys- couch bike/music
14. Get Lit/Bike Safety
15. Art Bikes/Sculptures on wheels
16. Seniors on Trikes
17. Recumbents
18. Clever Cycles/Fun bikes (Bakfiets, tandems, triples, penny farthing, dutch bikes, etc)
19. Food by bike (instead of Breakfast on Bridges (B on B), how about A on A? (Appetizers on Alberta))
20 Short shorts: Scandinavians on bikes! (It will be s√łttende mai, Norwegian Constitution day!)
21. Political leaders (Sam Adams? Chris Smith? Forget the car or walking. let's bike!)
22. Children on Bikes (CCC?)
23. Pedalpalooza & Towards Car Free Conference pushers (have flyers - promote)

What are we missing?!
(besides bike porn and nudists - we'll save that for PP 2008)

Contact with feedback, or to let us know if you want to take lead in gathering your bike clan together for the parade

Monday, March 17, 2008

Extreamo, what's that clown's M.O.?

I hear we may get a visitor next thursday

open mic at Muddy Waters Coffee House.

"08 Climate Convergence Open Meeting (DO THIS!)

Rising Tide call out for Organizers/Input for
‘08 Climate Convergence

WHAT: Open Meeting for the 2008 West coast
Convergence For Climate Action
WHERE: Lucky Lab Brewery and Restaurant, 915 SE
Hawthorne Blvd.
DATE: Sunday March 16th
TIME: 2 - 4 pm

Contact Ant @ or give a call at
(541)359-1699 if you have any question or if you can’t
make the meeting but would like to know when the next
meeting is.

Organizing for this years Climate Convergence has just
started and we are looking for organizations and
individuals who are interested in plugging in, however
they see fit. We are hoping to broaden the
perspectives that are represented both while
organizing the event and within our list of workshops.
We do ask that all folks wishing to help organize read
our policies regarding Anti-Oppression(AO) and Energy
usage during the event.
**policies are attached**

Climate Convergence Vision:
We hope to create a space that brings together
communities of different backgrounds and perspectives
while fostering the idea that we all have something to
offer and learn about the wide range of issues that
are affected by Climate Change and Climate Justice.
The Climate Convergence will be a space to advocate
Earth-centered, community based solutions that foster
local autonomy and self-sufficiency. We also believe
that the key to being a part of changing the world is
to take action against the Fossil Fuel empire which
has greatly contributed to worldwide injustice and
climate change.

A Little Background:
Last years West coast Convergence for Climate Action
was a great success and we are trying to build on the
momentum. Over 400 people came out to rural SW
Washington to take part in over 100 workshops, learn
about different community based struggles & solutions
and ended the week by taking action against Liquefied
Natural Gas (LNG) development and PacifiCorp’s
consistent disregard of their dams impacts on
surrounding cultures and the environment. The West
coast Climate Convergence was also held in conjunction
with 2 other Climate gatherings held in the UK and in
the south east US which focused on airport expansion
and the Coal and Nuclear Industries respectively.

Things Convergence has to offer:
1) Lots of energy being put into gathering folks from
different causes/backgrounds
2) A space to network
3) Be a part of an international movement for people
and the environment
4) A space to learn new skills and to share your own
5) Get national/international news on an action you
plan during the WC Climate Convergence

How to Plug in:
1)come on out to the 1st Open Climate Convergence
2)Offer/suggest a workshop/panel you would like to see
or be a part of
3)Join one of the Working Groups being formed(AO,
eco-village, alt. power, food, transportation, etc)

Find directions here:


Saturday, March 15, 2008

bike riot (click this)

A flick made by Rev.Phil back when agent Lapis was a clown and the Clown House was near N.Mississippi ave.

WARTS! (copied from another post I did)

I tried everything so far from burying apples that have touched my wart to sacrificing a virgin into a volcano.
I used to put duct tape on them when they were only as big as a pencil eraser, they became infused and now the duct tape is a part of me.
The Stalic acid they sell over the counter just acted as a coral reef making the wart waterproof.
Now I'm using the "Spray air" duster for cleaning electronics for it's "warning, may cause frost bite" function to freeze that shit off, it works too, like getting a cigar slowly put out on my arm until it is frozen, really cool.
I tried to capture the demise of a nasty wart but the camera couldn't do the scale of it any justice, plus I kept dropping the camera everytime I turned the can upside down and gave it some scalding cold thrust.
It turned into a black welt of scar tissue after a week from the first dose of canned air.
That stuff cost me $5 at wallgreens, the wart freezer is $28 and less powerful by a mile.
I got a box of exacto blades donated, I'm gonna get to it myself.
pray fer me yall

Remember to wash your guitar and keep it clean... never know where it's going to go.
I love my new guitar, I paid twice as much for half the guitar but it has so far served me VERY well.
You may be surprised to know that we do keep a pretty tight ship around here.

Monday, March 10, 2008

the thrice rented room

Our room mate Jon went on a trip for months, his room paid for.
Skye rented it out with his compliments, she rented it out to a nice young lady from New York, she paid in advance but wouldn't be there for two weeks.
Skye rented it out to Jeraniah (A nice kid from New Mexico)he left hiking.
Thats the story of the thrice rented room and the hillbilly who made the circus some dough.
Our little Clown House is looking more and more like the old one, we need to expand!
Any ideas where we can get a huge place for next to nothing and make a lot of noise?

Hera Starr took me to Pix

Saw my friend John and then Hera the otherday, she treated me to some $3.50 hunk of candy!

We went to Powells and looked at witchcraft books and then we went into Pix where she bought some decadent ass, choco death, candy.
She isn't my sweety but buying me stuff sure is sweet.

Sunday, March 09, 2008

not blogging much, sorry laptop is busted.

I'm working pretty hard on the show and meeting challenges in parenting, work,and I'm forcing myself to relax.
Look for us around April 1st working with Chervona, and soon with Yellow Fin as well as the open mic on thursdays (huge now) and the bureoning Sat all ages open mic that was a blast this week.
I'll have the lap top fixed in no time as well as the Clown House fleet.
If you need some free food (and know where we live) then talk to me.

Sunday, March 02, 2008


I did some horse trading and got a few homebums fixing up the fleet.
Most important are the Topher built bikes
Gordon took the General Lee out and brought it back painted, it still has steering issues.
My homebum friend took LilTexas and converted it into a tricycle good thing he has vast tweaker experience and lots of tools, hope he isn't on crank now, I would kick his ass out quick.
I love all the Topher built bikes, all the rest were just junk, guys built great bikes at the clown house but they just kept all the good ones and gave us the trash (Typical) Topher built bikes for us that stayed with us.
A Better Bike shop donated a 20" huffy to our cause, Think I'll make a woman's battle bike out of it.
We have donated crates of food this week, tell me if you need a bag of potatos, apples, pears. and squash!

Saturday, March 01, 2008

remember I told yall Meghan broke up with me?

Um...I was just kidding.
Last night we went on a date to a 7 deadly sins party, we dressed as "Envy" and "Pride" we both wore green Astro Turf costumes who's grass was always greener.

Skye Blue made a friend, we did leave early because she wasn't used to seeing so much co-worker genitalia "I work with those people every day!"

Licking chocolate off a sword HOT!

Rev,Phil was feeling it.