Monday, November 12, 2007

There ya go friends, 24 hours notice in the life of a chaos clown

I got up and went searching for coffee, found a nice spot "Muddy Waters cafe" Miranda from Portland super group "Heroes and Villans" works there, she's a real fist full of fireworks, I drink coffee sometimes with the bums outside on the street and sometimes inside with her boyfriend.

The refills are 50 cents but they have no internet, some great books and nice art.
They have two bathrooms and the keys have large key chains with a roman numeral 1 painted on one and a proud numeral 2 painted on the other.
The doors on the two bathrooms have corresponding numerals painted on them, I didn't notice at first so I only pee'd in the one marked number one and saved my bowel movements for bathroom two.
I had waited as long as I could to move my room out, I was evicted from the room but not really the house, after finally talking to Skye Blue I decided to move into the room down stairs, the one Ood lived in.
I know this fella in North East who likes dressing in half drag, donning skates and doing the most fantastic dangerous stunts, he called wanting to hang out so I let him come over and help me move.
He has a crush on me, I got to enjoy the rare chance to see what a woman must enjoy having someone your not at all interested in kissing yer butt...well let's phrase that different... helping me move.
He came and went, he's a nice kid with LOTS of heart.
The whole move took about 4 hours to take my stuff to a smaller room but at least this room has heat.
All my worth was in a pile on the floor and I had a hell of a time moving my bed.
Skye and her man were moving too, well the dude wasn't doing much of anything and his lady was doing all the work.
He is kind of retarded like that, a man child who has no clue about whats expected of him, he only seems to want to read comics.
Hera and her kiddo Eden came by, the boy is into coins so I gave him a few of my rare coinage, I really hope he gets into coin collecting.
She was sharing her dinner with me and the kid, when Skye burst in screaming "Dingo help me!"
She and her man had been fighting about his state of affairs, he is really big and I guess he scared her.
Hera looked at her kid with concern I went into the room.
She told me he's really big and she got afraid, I told her I was the most scary guy in the building and not to worry.
I separated the two and tried to encourage some good ideas in both of them, he got his stuff together, she went downstairs to sleep and my ride arrived.
I said bye to Hera and co and jumped into my client's van.
I was to "cock block" for her at a Scorpio party, she was to be nude in a bathtub and I was only to let in the people she wanted to see, we got there and the rules changed, The bathroom didn't lend itself to that idea still plenty fun though.
I met a fella named Dave and a few other fellas, like at all party's, not everyone came for sex, plenty came for booze, I made lots of trips to where the fellas were hanging to crack wise and roast bowls, the rest of the time I was dancing and keeping in character.
I played this game with myself near the bathroom, I would wait for the conditions to be right and pop into the scene.
I would wait until three or so couples made it to the bathroom, the ladies would all go in and the guys would stop dancing as soon as the door closed.
I would walk in and enjoy the uncomfortable silence that happens between men in a hall who don't know each other, it was grand and happened every 20 min or so.
Now I wasn't drunk or on E, I was for the most part on the job, my client got wrapped up in some one and let me off the hook but I was still obliged to hang out and look after her, if not just cart around her stuff in my cargo pockets.
The sexual energy had a lot of drug influence and thus like porn, isn't true to what I know sex to be, it won't come close unless I was to drop or drunk too and thats not gonna happen.

I still enjoyed the music, the way my body feels when I'm dancing (Shakin yer booty stretches out yer limbs and guts.)and looking at all the fantastic costumes and super sexual movements, they reminded me of Squid Spawning off the coast of Mexico, a bunch of big dumb animals gyrating to mating rythems and gracefully wrapping around each other.
My client came up to me and offered some black tea, in moments she had found another lover and was gone, I moved to the door through the dance floor.
It's kind of hard to get through a dance floor if your not dancing, I always feel like I'm bum rushing people, they give me dirty looks all the time as I shove them out of my way, I developed a dancing "shove move" thats very charming.
I was going outside to find the drunk boys from South Dakota when I stumbled up to this tallish lady with long black hair, big eyes long legs and huge smiles dancing in front of me, she was amazing to behold.
I looked at her feet, high heels, that tells me two things, one, that bare footed we are about the same hight, two she cant get away from danger.
I told myself I would never date anyone who wears high heels because I don't wanna hang with anyone who cant jump fences at a moments notice, any gal who wears heels a lot (or owns an iron) will drag me down and I'm not getting slowed down anymore this lifetime if I can help it.
Heels are a red flag, dancing at that party was a red flag and the fact that she was looking right at me with a huge grin was a red flag.
At a party it's all a sight and feel thing, thats why people dress like mating birds and flash the same signals, the music is too loud to talk much.
We had the fact that we both had drinks in common with each other so thats where we started, I had tea, she had a glass of wine.
I smiled and she took my tea and had a sip, I said "Howdy I'm Dingo the Clown" and she said "I know I've herd of you" she motioned for me to come close, I got so close to her neck I could smell her family scent, rosewater and the faint smell of her sweat from dancing.
I kissed her neck without a second thought, and she slipped her finger in my mouth, it was full of chocolate, not 711 chocolate, this was Mexican,) high end stuff.
I stopped kissing her to break character, I demand she tell me if there was any kind of drugs in the candy.
She assured me it was legit and told me she had only had the one glass of wine (my heart started thumping, this gal is a goddess and she likes chocolate, is a fan, and may not be an alcoholic, drug fiend, I'll take it!)
She took her time with the chocolate in my mouth, what a fox, she shifted and light hit her, she was FINE I guessed she may be Puerto Rican (wow)
We talked a bit and decided we liked each other, she showed me where the chocolate came from, it was all solid.
It dawned on me that she had danced with the chocolate in her hand, thats how it was so creamy instead of solid at room temp.
I was distracted away for some reason and when I returned I saw the show of my dreams, for at least 5 long songs I saw this wonderful lady dance grope/ a super foxy girlfriend.
I had to look away so many times to keep from diving into them like an ape.
I walked off and later saw her getting into a cab.
I wish I asked her name, it is kind of cool to make a connection in the single serving size and then be done with it.
Yup I found a feather boa with quite a lot of money just in a pile in the floor, I scooped it up and threw the whole pile on the fridge for the homeowner to find.
A lot of the folks were just crazy on drugs and sex, not my thing, at that point I was done, I got my stuff and walked home, banjo in hand.
I got to my place and fished my bed out of the pile that is my life in my new room, the land lady may come anytime and give me the boot but for now I'm staying here as long as I can.
At one point the Clown House was so loud it could be heard for 20 blocks in all directions, three floors and a huge yard, people taking photos day and night, never a dull moment, now the whole of the Clown House empire fits into four trunks, visitors are rare and it's quiet.
Both ways have good and bad points, the CH was a stress ball, here I got so lonely I propped up some blankets so they look out of the corner of my eye, like someone to talk to.
I was talking to blankets last night, they didn't have much to say but they also didn't mind having sex with me.
Am I a dumbass?
I get paid to be myself at the best parties in town, and yet my main torment is not having anyone to share it with.
I have my stuff paired down so if it all goes to poot, I'll dump all my stuff in the Willamette river and live on my bike, it's not like any bike, it's huge.
I fell asleep in my new room on my old bed, thinking about the fact that since adulthood,I have never moved out of a house because it was my decision, I've always been forced out, what a crummy pattern, I want to own a few city blocks when this is all over, and someday I will.
There ya go friends, 24 hours notice in the life of a chaos clown


Anonymous said...

Where are the pictures from this night? Whenever I don't have a Tom Robbins or Hunter S. Thompson book handy I know I can count on your blog.

Anonymous said...

I hate anonymous comments but I am glad that you commented at all, it keeps me sharing.
I bet if I were to walk around taking photos at that gig I could make a lot of money,
When I get a camera that I can uplaod my days onto my blog, it will be a much more fun/horrific blog to read.