Saturday, October 27, 2007

OOD click here too

OOD

Clown Power click here

revolution party went great

Did the gig with Muir Muir last night, I brought the nures clown "Miss Diagnosis" and I wanted to bring another new recrouit but she didn't make it.
Had a ball with lots of new faces and learned some Russian language, the band Chervona was there too and we shot fireworks as they played in the street in front of Berbati's Pan in Downtown Portland.
At one point the hottest russian gal I have ever seen handed me a huge russian flag, I happened to be on my tall bike and soon realized that I could choose between the brake and holding the flag with that hand and no way to switch them while moving and holding my hat and some fireworks.
I had to just not stop for a while and so I went several blocks down the avenue waving a russian flag, it must have been one of those Portland moments for a lot of people.
Y'know, seeing a cowboy clown on an 8 foot tall bike waving a giant soviet flag.
We had fun, shot the crowd with a confetti canon, blew up some stuff, flirted with everyone, got our money and bikes home.
I was so beat, I slept with my face paint on.
I like being a clown during holloween, it's the one week that we can move about town without raising so much attention,
When we are doing the gigs, people soon find out that we arn't really in a costume, it's everyday stuff,

Sunday, October 21, 2007

Indoor hoses to clean up after the boy.

I'm over the shock of revisiting all the riggers of my children, the boy is like a racoon pup tearing into everything,and the girl is alright...just a bit "full of herself", it's natural for a kid that age. I keep seeing glympses of the woman my child may be in a few short years (tear of joy).
I would be in a bad way if I didn't get to see the kids, don'tget me wrong, I just don't like farm work and thats what child raising is, a lot of smelly feeding, slopping bedding, swatting flies off of and staying up all night dealing with.
Theres a sheen in my house everywhere my kids have been, if the roomates can avoid the mess they can't unhear a screech.
now that the boy s asleep (took hours, nothing else got done) It's not so bad, he is cute.
I really hate when people see me having a hard time and laugh at me or tell me I was that way as a kid and it's revenge.
My mom told me that (to death) in San Antonio, I snapped at her saying it' s not my fault, you had control of the genetics, should have hooked up with a mellow guy who likes books, not a frozen lake demolition derby driver like my dad was.
I'm glad my kid likes my house, actually she loves my place, I have a huge doll house that came with the room.
I play with the doll house everyday, I even had a bag of scale dolls and a backdrop of Atlanta Ga. that I set New Clown House in.
Tonight Skye Blue (who's grand dad built the thing) and my kid played for a long time with it.
I could hear them giggling while I was trying to get the boy to sleep.
It's clear that I'm gonna have to make some changes, at least so my blog will get less depressing.
I don't want to get a girlfriend because the attraction is child friendliness and parenting prowess,
I want it to be because she can sing and jump a tall bike or something useful like that.
I'm taking aplications *** ***.
meantime I'm looking into getting a place, with a drain in the floor and indoor hoses.

we should have movie night soon

Guess what movie?

familiar

Well, It's 8am, iv'e had no sleep, my hair hurts almost as bad as my body and I'm lonley, sounds like the old story, yup. my kids are here.
From the moment I herd the first screech my guts tightened and the stress begun to soar.
I do need a girl friend i think, someone to help me with this, I'm so burned out on the kid raising thing but I love my children so much I can't bear to be without them in my life.
I go back and forth missing and dissing my ex, why did we go through all this mess?
Great things are happening too don't get me wrong, I don't write about all the stuff going on.
I hear Carl stopped reading my blog when it got depressing, I saw him and the other hoolagins during a "Drop Outs Bike Club ride that I went on.

my myspace page

http://home.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user
I got it a long time ago and still havent used it much.

Saturday, October 20, 2007

I'm in the Light House listnin

to the Original Red Rocker Vivaldi, actually they called him the Red Priest and he shredded the violin to (I bet) adoring fans.
I don't sound so good playing along on banjo. I don't read music but I know a lot of this music note for note and did long before I played guitar.
This track I'm hearing now (the four seasons summer) I remember from being in kindergarden and Mrs. Macmillan played this record once or twice It made an impression, maybe because the other music of the mid 1970s was crap.
I'm thinking about my family a lot and health and how they relate to each other.
I miss my wife every day but as different people we have to go different ways I guess, we are both less angry nowadays.
We did so well for so long, I like her, I'm getting the children today I think.
I expect the way I dealt with the Clown House's demise convinced her that I was a bundle of stress she didn't need.
Even now, when I hear a baby scream on tv or radio I cringe and get all worked up, I really do get traumatized by that sound, it put me off of Punk Rock.
The Dog misses me too, I can tell, when I come around the dog lunges at me to say hi and her spiked collar rakes furniture, children, old people, it's a mad dash to lick poppa.
Hahahahahaha!
They live far away, I'm getting used to the new long bus trip to pick up or deliver children, they are so worth it, I miss them so much.
The kids inspire magic to happen, the lucky jerks.
I have been doing a lot of magic since having a "lair" to do it in and I'm getting uncanny results, so much that I have decided to take care what I manifest from the cosmos because it's a heavy responsibility to keep myself together.
It's funny using the stereo and a chalk drawing on the floor as a kind of phone booth/ isolation chamber, if that sounds silly ignore this part
I have been studying Wizardry since 4th grade, I didn't know anything about Harry Potter but I did know Nostradamus, Merlin (aka Frownstrong), my favorite wizards that really lived.
I have saved my life with magic and of course, destroyed huge parts of it too, whatever works.
My host Skye is doung her own kind of domestic magic, trying to make her house a Clown House in her own image (Hillbilly).
She is on top of her game and everyone elses too, she may seem bossy but thats ok...she is right and it's not an ego trip.
Like me she knows that ducks have to be in a row for the show to kick out and get eveyone paid.
It bothered her that Will and his friend kept the room doors closed and out of the loop so much, me too I guess.
If they werten't part of our circus than we need the space, I agree.
The room is going to be kept open until a circus crew person needs it, then they have it made.
It's a $300 room for only $100 if you work with us, not bad.
It's one of the "bennies" of being in the Blood Sugar Circus but in return you gotta kick ass.
I'm working out ways to pay off the talent and crew, sometimes I have gift certificates, other times beer tickets or weed, I like giving out cash too.
It all comes from our patrons who call and email asking us to be part of whatever they have going on.
I'm doing the revolution gig next weekend for free because it's the revolution for crissakes.
I was going to do some Stand Up Comedy at a cafe last night but it was raining so hard I didn't expect the size crowd I need to be really funny.
Instead, I kicked it here twerrlin my lasso and plotting global domination.
I popped in a Chris Rock cd and laughed my butt off.
I have an ash tray, thats what I call it, an empty gallon jug with the top cut off full almost to the top with apple cores.
I eat a lot of apples and for some reason I didn't want apple cores with other trash, I don't know why, today I will toss it because it's become obsolete, I no longer stop eating at the cores, I have no problem eating the whole thing.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

show next weekend

I'm going to help out with this Party at Berbati's Pan on the 26th
Heres a word from the russian:

Comrades,
Good news: we still have $7 tickets that you can get for from: www.russianfoundation.org
No service charge!
Get them while you can! We decided to have them for you till the end of this week.
After these tickets are gone you can still get $10 tickets in advance.
Important: last year's Revolution party was sold out, so make sure to get your tickets ahead of time.
Please send this to all you local friends and hope to see you there!
And dont forget : it's going to be EXACTLY 90 years from October Revolution - what a historical celebration!
A.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

churnin

hi friends, there wasn't much to write about this week, well there is but it needs to be a surprise.
My next gig will be the revolution party at Berbati's Pan next weekend, it's a "carpet clown" gig.
I'm rehearsing the bits tonight in the late hours.
I still have some nasty pruritis (itching caused by bile salts) it's not the torture it was but it is annoying.
I was up last night scratching when a bum fight broke out.
It was about 3:30 am when I could hear a lot of screaming at street level.
I ignored it until I could hear the sound of metal being dented (they were punching cars).
I got my ass up, walked over to the window and saw two drunks beating the crap out of each other.
One had those crutches that start at the hands and go to the ground, kinda like half crutches.
He took them and whacked his friend across the face with them and they both hit the ground.
They both got up and for some reason the guy with crutches no longer needed them.
They took turns smacking eachother, yelling at eachother and hugging/crying.
They would get really close, then start punching again.
The guy with the crutches swung on the other guy so hard HE fell (because he missed) and as he hit the ground he began yelling for
someone to call the law.
He eventually got back up and faught his friend who was waiting in the middle of the street for him.
All the while this was going down, Hawthorn street was still a busy place, they tryed to fight all the other people too.
I was really tempted to get some dark clothing on and wipe up the floor with both of them, I saw it as a "freebe".
A bunch of my neighbors were out watching too and I didn't want to scare them with a bunch of violence that actually connected and drew lots of damage.
I'm mellowing out in my old age.

Friday, October 12, 2007

Jello!

I just got done signing a contract to do my act at a private party in a restraunt, the coolest part was that after the money amount they are renting our circus banners and paying in Jello.
Why Jello?
Because this first Friday on Burnside I will be debuting my new show Blood Sugar Circus and also doing a spot of Jello Wresling, yes friends the Mud Pit of Doom has grown up into a bouncing baby jello pit.
You got it here first, if you want to compete, get a partner and let me know ASAP.

(sigh....)
This leaves me almost where I was 11 years ago, a hallway FULL of open doors and nobody to share it with.
I decided I would look for Ms."the Clown" to keep me company.
Finding a steady gal is difficult, I'm attracted to Bi punk gals who are psycopaths but where do you find those?
Answer: all over the place, the truth is a crazy lady is fun in the sack but a real pain when you have to deal with all the emotional baggage and the fact that she only gets turned on when she gets popped in the mouth like she stole somthing.
I'm too cuddly for that nonsense (Sorry ******) I'm thinking of my kids well being too.
I think the fakes are funny for maybe half an hour and then I'm done.
I don't want to hook up with a girl who is "Going through a phase", faking it, a tourist or a poser, then I get all dressed up to go and she is afraid of success.
Maybe I'll find a circus girl who can hang with me and keep up, at the jello event.
I sure hope not.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

I gotta be careful what I say.

I went to see a friend's band tonight, I was looking for the next circus folks.
I fella told me "After two beers I'll do anything you want me to Dingo."
He didn't say "I want to learn the tricks of the primal circus trade", he said "I'll do anything".
Without a second thought I pulled the bandanna from my neck and held it up to him.
"Did you have two beers yet?"
I asked.
"Three or four"
"Good, take this bandanna and tie it to......
I looked across the Portland sky line and pointed to a sign on the roof of a six story building, pretty far away, I thought.
"tie my scarf to the top pole of the bill board on that building.
I was hoping to illistrate that booze is no match for practice and focus when doing stuff like this.
Well, his friend heard the whole thing and swiped the bandanna out of my hands.
The dude jumped off the balcony, ran over several rooves, I thought there was a street or two between them but somehow the guy climbed up ricketty gutters and wet steel and brick.
I watched in horror as this fool climbed the roof of the roof and then up into the sign, ribbed himself up to the top, tied my bandanna up there and withing 10 min. was back in the club.
I pulled $5 from my pocket and pinned it to his lapel.
He is still way too drunk to be in my show but I found his stunt damn amazing and stupid.
He wasn't even the guy I was puting up to stuff.
I hear that another dude also made the climb and brought the bandanna back, I have yet to see it.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

I got myself a new jacket, it's warm and nice with lots of cozy pockets.

It's puffy and lined with a little fake fur.
I thought I looked like a crack dealer in my puffy coat but my friends tell me I look more like a shop lifter.
It's an all new free pass to getting people in shops to come and help me when they usually don't.
If I cant find something all I do is act like I'm shop lifting, people who know me, know that I don't lie cheat or steal...but the folks at the grocery store don't.
I just got back from the Safeway on Hawthorn and the security guard was chasing me all over the place, it was fun.

From the desk of the Clown House Circus of Death...
We got a new game to play friends!
It's called "Tayzee Tag" or "26 watts of fun".
It's a tag game that is played over city blocks and games go from dawn until dusk, with another game starting at dusk and going till dawn.
The equipment is easy, A bicycle, clothing bearing a team color and a 50,000 volt Tazer Pistol.

We pick teams and scroll out a zone of effectiveness like a good 50 sqare block neighborhood and hit the road, see easy.
I bet great games could be played while Zoobombing!
"Points" are scored by sneaking up behind opposing "team members" while riding, and Tazing the living shit out of them.
Ya gotta be at least 21' from the target to get a good "Tag".
Once you have been hit, you are out, extra points given for hitting moving targets.
Remember friends, the darts don't have to penetrate to work!

We should pick team colors that are uncommon so there will not be any problems with Tazing folks who aren't playing, I suggest Red and Blue, for the dawn team and black and green for dusk team. Or if you are already limping back to the starting zone and don't want to accidentally be re-tazed, players can yell "Rotochelli Rotochelli! or fake an epileptic seizure, whatever works best.
Only a "Team Captain" can Taze a "Team Captain", if a "team Member" accidentally Tazes a "Team Captain", they are automatically called out, drug into a bush and kicked in the spine, they can only re-enter the game if the fallen "Team Captain" can get up and remount the bike.
Prizes!
Whiskey and sardines for the winning team and a lot more Tazing for the losing team.
This is off the top of my head, it may be a really stupid idea.

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Clown House circus of Death

Not as much Death as stupidity, we have tons of fun though.

crazy reason to cancel a parade gig

It would seem that Homeland Security is in conflict with us having a parade
this year for Portland's Burningman Diversion Decompression.

All neighborhood and community involvement permits are being denied for the
period of time that the Top Officials Exercise 4 [TOPOFF-4] will be
happening, so that all traffic cops can be assigned to these tactical
maneuvers. In particular, on the day of Saturday, 20 October 2007 there
will be a “Dirty Bomb” exercise out by the PDX airport with fake motorcades
for fake visiting dignitaries.

North American Aerospace Defense Command [NORAD] and U.S. Northern Command
along with U.S. Pacific Command, the Department of Homeland Security as well
as local, state and other federal responders will exercise their response
abilities against a variety of potential threats during Exercise Vigilant
Shield '08, a U.S. Joint Forces Command-supported Department of Defense
exercise for homeland defense and defense support of civil authorities
missions. VS-08 will be conducted concurrent with TOPOFF-4, the nation's
premier exercise of terrorism preparedness sponsored by the Department of
Homeland Security, and several other linked exercises as part of the
National Level Exercise 1-08.

Translation...
No parade for us...

Little video from last year's parade:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RG64pLoAlTU


in other news, Ood took a trip to San Fransisco a few months ago, he was cockblocking for the band Kiss Bank.
I didn't know it but it was the begining of the end for his involvment with this circus.
So now Ood is out and that is that, nuff said.
I just got the new circus a gig in November at a place called Chaos cafe, it's a sweet all ages venue that will give 10% discounts on food if you have a bike helmet on.
Much more later....
I don't want to give too much away

How do ya like them apples

Thanks to Will and the rest of the Sky Tower folks for helping me through that mess.
The new show is comin together great and the next time you see us we will be all new.
SKye Blue is fixin my pants and the fellas just finished a nice R.P.G. tonight was the first time they were all good enough at the game to finish it.
I had a nice time with my son today and Caffeine gave me some apples Thanks!

Saturday, October 06, 2007

Got gigs!

Went out to the first friday event on Burnside, had a great time with Raven and co, met some old friends, shot off some fireworks.
Today I had a meeting for an event thats gonna pay my rent next month YAY!
The gig is a holloween party (invite only sorry) at a bar near te skate park, the crew were so nice I may just work there as my day job.
The gig was for me individually but I got them to provide high doller prizes to the couple of folks I bring with me.
I'm also talking to a trapeeze girl and some band people.
It's so good to be back.

Friday, October 05, 2007

went to first thursday

I got up on my bike and had a strange sensation, I pulled myself up and shoved a pedal down, the bike flew forward, I did this again and I was rolling fast and hard.
I got to abig hill and started pumping up it, from my chest I began to hear and feel a growl, by the time I was at the top I was roaring.
The bike is again my tool and steed, I'm no longer weak and sickly just draped over the handlebars hoping to get where I was going.
I went to first thursday to check the scene, I found that I truly hate art as much as I hate music, I do like my friends and I met a lot of them.
I like some art but anything that I can just crap out with no effort bores the hell out of me.
I'm going to first friday on Burnside tonight, wanna come meet me there?

Thursday, October 04, 2007

at a cafe

I just brought my own cup half full of oil free half and half, payed a buck, left a bud as a tip, got a dose of med. roast Coffee and sat down.
I had to go back and ask the barista if " no food on the computers meant coffee too, he didn't care.
I looked at the coffee as I checked my email, it wasn't until I was done that I had the bravory to try it.
It could mean hours of agony if my body can't handle it or it can be another nice date with an old friend.
I took some precaution, I drank lots of water before I went and ate a muffin and about 2/3cup of lemon juice.
I looked at the steaming brew, I had dropped a bit of cinnamon in it and the smell is intoxicating, it's been weeks since Iv.e had coffee, the last coffee I tasted wasn't even drank by me, it was the sweet breath of Bonaroo, also intoxicating.
I grabbed the hand made (looks like by a 4th grader) mug and took a sip...
MY eyes rolled into the back of my head and I think angels may have been yapping and blowing horns!
It was great, I won't know if it will kill me for hours, I think I'll be fine.
Earlier I was casting a spell to order my body to absorb water better, my face is receding as my body gulps for more moisture to the liver and gall bladder, I wanted to give them a chance without mussing my boyish looks.
As I was in the magic circle chanting I lost focus and imagined one of my heroes Chris Rock popping out of a cloud and yelling "If ya want mo wata in ya system, drank da shit hot nigga!"
I thought about it and began drinking hot water with my lemon juice....Yuck, it works, thanks imaginary Chris!
Yeah it's a thing about coffee, it's hot so it gets in quick, I'm gonna go home and hope everything comes out alright.
It's a fun adventure so far friends, looks like a new show on the horizon and I hope to see us all there.

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

I went washing

Big step since it was going to the laundry started the whole "Die with the Clown House Syndrome" where as my empire crumbled so did my family and internal organs.
I'm better now, only a hint of the itching that was my life for weeks, I was stong enough to load the big cattle trailor with my laundry (two boxes) and haul it over to Belmont, I chose a different wash house and saved a quarter a load until the dryer ripped me off for three quarters.
I did laundry and went to Muddy Waters Cafe, I was hoping to do some show recuiting and see if I can take coffee yet.
I walked up to the place and could smell the coffee inside like it was a bitch in heat, I was panting.
Coffee,sugar and chocolate are hard on the system and I love all of those things, the pain is too great to try it so I had a smoothie and split as soon as I could.
I feel good, not strong yet but good enough to work, I'm sure glad I had some weed when the worst if the itching came on, I had found some Organic Blueberry nugs and they kept the demons from taking my mind.
I have gotten through this whith a host of herbs and plant parts, wizardry and magic, good sense and diet, lots of help from my friends.
Now I'm back to wondering what to do with the Clown Houses body of work?
I have so much stuff from articles about us to comics, zines, photos, posters all originals too, what the hell do I do with this stuff?
It would be great if there was gonna be another Clown House but guess what, the money didn't come.
All the money we raised for the new place went to restoring the old one back, the idea was to get the depost back and get another house.
We all worked night and day on the place for months, spent money and went without sleep just to get the joint ready for the next folks and the landlord never showed up.
They are telling us that the house was trashed and that there would be no deposit repayed.
I thought they would be cool with us but they are not, they were bad landlords who left us in the dark and cold and I always defended them like a stupid ass.
There is still a show, the new act will have a stand up bass and a bunch of new faces I think you will like.
I am on the hunt now that I'm feeling better, wanna job?