Tuesday, August 14, 2007

in tents

The Climate Convergence is done, wow that was in tents!
We spent days living in tents on the fair grounds near Scakamawaw Washington.
At 9:30 am on the dot, "Horhay" from the Underscore Orchestra pulled the big, purple bus up to the house.
We loaded all the big bikes, and huge props.
An hour later we were done and an hour after that, Will Workforf Ood was ready to go.
I went with Danger and Uncle Jay in a truck full of circus props, we left that afternoon. Jay has a history in that part of the country and was glad to help us do the U.S.O. thing for a bunch of hard core activists in his home land.
It was a long car ride, (ick!) this year I went to Texas, was driven all over, had a van for a weekend and joyrode it myself all over Portland, and now went way out into the boon docks in a truck full of red necks who like Ska music..
I'm not used to that much fossil fuel use, it was kind of cool and kind of nauseating. Remember, I used to drunk drive a fuel truck all over Dallas Texas for a living, my hands have gas on them too.
Funny, the whole reason for the convergence is to save the river from a gas compan.

We got to the fair grounds in the middle of the night, I couldn't find my family's tent in the dark, I was cold, tired and confused..
I walked into a livestock hanger of some kind and saw the shadow of my bike in the dark moon lit room.
I grabbed it to take it with me and as soon as it moved I could hear the sound of flat tire on floor.
my bike was flat and I couldn't see what other damage might have been done, I remembered when the drunks here at the Clown House screwed up all the bikes last year, that got me really mad.
Phil calmed me down a bunch by telling me it was gonna be cool and that the bike was ok and my family was safe and dry.
Jay on the other hand, thought he would calm me down by asking as many stupid questions as they could, "Hey Dingo, do you like chainsaws?, Dingo why are you crying?"
He also likes saying half sentences like, Hey!...I had a-a friend who...um...(looks at me grinning)..."
I was so mad smoke was coming out of my ears, I was looking forward to cuddling with Caffeine and Bonaroo, instead I got Uncle Jay and Danger's skateboard.
I made a pillow out of my guitar an slept like a dunce, I hate camping.
The next day we got up at dawn, I found my family, they were cool, my kids had a wonderful time.
The Drop Out bike club had a booth in a livestock barn, I was happy to have them work on my bike, they do great work.
Chops walked up hansom as ever, I was stoked...until he walked right passed me and Rev.Phil picked my bike up.
"Do you know how to work on bikes Phil?"
"Sure I mess around with them."
An hour later the bike was again full of air and had a new tire, Phil started working on the brakes and gears, I could tell he was experimenting so I let him, kind of like when you let a baby play with your car keys.
On a creepy note,Phil hit up my girlfriend to do porn for him, that almost ended really bad for him, I'm a beast to say the least.
We did the show and slew, the stunts all went over greatly, we kept the kids happy while big meetings took place, the locals LOVED us.
We play well in the sticks, they want us to come back.
We did the "thing", made some friends and went home.
Along the way, Uncle Jay took me on an industrial tour of how Longview Washington hates the environment.
Miles of pipes and factorys, buildings full of lumber and smoke.
We passed a place called "The Mint Farm" where a farm was bought by a chemical company but kept the name.
Now the Mint Farm is a sewage treatment plant wow.
I got home praying that my family got home ok, it's my way.
I looked at the yard and knew it would be one of the last nights of the Alberta Clown House.
Micheal the yard guy,did a great job taking care of the house while we were gone, he showed up from Beeville Texas and suddenly I don't know how I survived so long without him.
You know there are roving gangs in this neighborhood, they beat up Will and some other friends, Micheal and I seem to be immune to them no matter how many come up on us.
Micheal attacked a whole mob of them (they were breaking into cars)and frikkin WON.
I like that we got to go do a gig is such a remote local, I took some fun bike rides with Bonaroo, had a great time watching the pack of feral children running amuck and made some good friends.
I really wish I could have had more time with Caffeine, theres always next year, I hear the town wants to see the Clowns again and of course the mighty Sprockettes.

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Sorry I forgot your birthday song.