Saturday, June 30, 2007


I just realized that I don't have a phone list anymore.
I used to live off my phone list, I guess it's not a need here and now.
Like the electric typewriter, it's obsolete.
I use the computer for so much communication and if not that I just use a bike or yell.
I just got a treat, Bizzy took me for a ride in her car to get big bags of flour from a mill outside town.
I hadn't gone that fast in a long time (35-70 mph)I'm always on a bike.
I also hadn't been outside my neighborhood in months (besides the bike gigs, but thats just there and back on a track I have used for over 6 years.)
I don't like or use phones and when I see somone jibber jabbering all day on one it annoys me fer sure.
I like smoke signals and semaphore a lot for communication, I used both while hitch hiking with friends.

doggone it!

I have like four fantastic tales to tell, one about romance, another about high drama in the warehouse district and others that telling anything about would givetthem away.
I cant tell you cuz I would just unleash a crap storm.
It sucks to be fairly good at keeping secrets.

Naked Jousting at the Clown House

Yet another exciting installment of tallbike jousting at the Clown House on Albertas street Portland OR.
 Clown House. The band is Everyday Prophets, they fill the air with positive sounds and a great attitude for crashing into things.

The jousting started early this time, we had been shut down twice before so I needed to get things rolling. The fire dept. was grumpy about all the 40' fireballs, the cops are grumpy about the cheering and obnoxious shenanigans, everyone else was having a blast.
I just grabbed a bike and prepared to joust Ood he was on the other side of the yard.
As soon as both bikes squared up, a crowd gathered around us.
I took a little look at the General Lee to see if she was in good order.
A fella came up to me as I wrenched the handlebars into my position.
"Can I be next?"
I stopped what I was doing and looked at him.. in the eyes. I stared at him until we had a nice awkward pause going.
 He had a big exited grin, zits and he seemed sober.
"Why do you want to do something as stupid as this and in front of seventy five people?" I asked making sure not to give him any visual cues.
"Uh...I dunno, looks like fun."
"Perfect." I looked down the Jousting stretch and Ood had found a similar denizen who wanted to careen at someone, 8 feet off the ground while pointed at an on coming pole.
It takes talent to beat anyone in those conditions imagine the first person who decided nude jousting was a strategy.

Here is naked tall bike jousting, It's a lot more common now days than in many years past. Bizzy took the photo up top and I think Matt took the other (correct me of I'm wrong).
The cops were all around but didn't stop the match because folks had quieted down and there weren't people with beers in the street.
Actually the police hung around and enjoyed the show (I don't blame them)they didn't bother anyone who isn't inherently bothered by them.
About three people have nude jousted the my jouse bike this year, maybe more.
The reasons all differ and are never very clear.
Will Workforf Ood jousted the General Lee nude, because he didn't happen to know where his pants were. Been there done that. He had been in the naked bike ride that ended at the Stumptown Joustdown, I was an official and got to see the whole train wreck. He just happened to be a nude dude who jousted.
Another fella seemed off in the head and on a mission. He pumped himself up and tried to cut in line to joust, "ME NEXT MAN, I'm Jousting next!"
I told him to leave because he was having a psychotic episode and my place was an awful spot to do's full of clowns.
Next thing ya know I see this fool up on the General Lee and he's buck naked, the guy holding his bike up was giving instructions on how to hit the opponant and how to hold the lance.
He just nodded like he cared and as soon as the crowd yelled "3-2-1-JOUST" he stepped on the pedal, tossed the lance and flung himself at the other guy (Turbo).
I was right there and in the flashing lights of cameras, flood lights, the screaming, I saw a moment in slow motion bigger than puppy crap.
He was up in the air, hands calmly bent outward like Jesus.
His face said "Maybe this is whats missing in my life."
He had an expression of hope, even bliss.
His look turned to disappointment as a giant pole caught his chest full on and pounded him to the ground. Turbo the clown is no joke, he will mess you up as this guy found out.
He was quickly creamed by Turbo.  To his credit, Turbo didn't get a whole lot of satisfaction from winning a bout against an unarmed, naked contender.

It's funny that Turbo was denied fair violence, he is the same fella that invented "Pie Jousting" now thats cooking with foam!.

Clownarchy on Alberta street, the place to be.

We had such great music and chaos. We spent the day mud wrestling and the night jousting and a good time was had by all...even the guy who broke his arm.


I just changed my pass words so you can have my old one "wheat free" and "186,382"the latter is the speed of light.This painting is up for sale still, I think it's sooooo funny.It's only $55, thats $5 less than a bag of purple pot.
I'm looking at houses everyday and deciding what to do.
Caff can't find a place for the kids and her to live until she knows where I'm gonna live, Gypsy gave me a lead on a duplex, nearby, I'm gonna look today.
I can't wait to be able to wake up on my own and work without the constant needy screaming, my stress is through the roof when I have a show to run, bills to pay and a kid who would have no problem crawling out a window to his death or stabbing a fork in his eye.
Caffeine will be happy to live in peace, I'm no picnic when a child's screaming has shaken me out of a good mood, that happens many times a day.
She needs a small, babyproof place to raise the chiddrens in, I will still be who I am to them, good parenting can't happen with resentment, I'll still do what I normally do for the family.I can't wait to train my son in music and art.
Speaking of art, the art for the Clown House tshirts has been skillfully completed by Justa and it's amazing, I'm so grateful.
The "Last Thursday Preservation Society" have raised over $500 to buy the tshirt printing and we got a small biz to do the work for us, it's gonna help fund the next Clown House or at least get me a grease bus to live in (I wonder if Ood and Bonaroo will join me?)They tell me that people like the Tin Shed (they pitched in $100) are just happy to help us and other businesses payed up just to get rid of us.
I hear some of the L.T.P.S. felt wronged when high end restraunts congradulated them on keeping the riff raff out (they reported record proffits since the L.T.P.S. was out patrolling) when the only reason they were out there was to keep people out of the street and keep the cops away.
Creature (from San Fran) suggested we auction the stuff off here at the Clown House.
The less I have the easier it will be to move so I hope to sell off everything and leave with a banjo and a backpack, that would rock.

Monday, June 25, 2007

mid june

OK mid June
We have done a grip of shows so far and they were all great.
The first part of June we love to donate our clowning skill to the Pedalpalooza Weeks of Bike Fun.
We don't get paid for this group of gigs but boy did it render us invaluable dividends.
Now we are resting and getting ready for the second to last Thursday event, we will have two bands and lots of fun.
A film crew will be taping reality style so show up and act natural (naked).
We are still looking for a new house but finding nothing, it's still early.
I have noticed the website Flikr has a whole history of the Clown House in the search bar.
Just type in Clown House or any related words then hit “Most Recent” it's a great story.
I'm looking for musicians to helpme re-build the clown band, right now I need accordian, bass, guitar and other assorted people, the music drives the comedy.
I'm also looking for some incentive to pay off the volenteers who are getting the old Clown House wrapperd up and will be assembling the new digs.
Usually I just buy burritos and beer out of my own pocket but we havn't seen the kids food stamps in a loooong time.
They are allergic to many things so a loaf of bread costs $5 for them.
Speaking of saints who like to help a good cause, the Last Thursday Preservation Socioty has convinced several buissnesses to donate some bread for making and selling Clown HOuse Tshirts.
Buissnesses along Alberta Street will sell them and we get the money for a new place, cool huh?
I'm biting my nails off waiting on artwork that I needed last week.
I HATE depending on people, but I do.
Will did a fine job in the last two weeks and so did Capt. Ace,they brought it man!
I was great, Chlorine was invaluable, Bizzy was present and Pinga...well...he had a lot of fun.

Saturday, June 23, 2007

Bike fair today!!!!!

Come see the fair, lots of stuff to do.
SE 20th and Belmont (Col. Summers Park)
2:00pm - 7:00pm
Competitions and crafts.
Music and mayhem.
Beer and bruises...

MCBF is the catastrophic culmination of 2+ weeks of Pedalpalooza bike fun. Bring your friend. Bring your bike. Bring your sunscreen. Bring your camera. Bring your best game. Bring your bandages. Bring your bike fun.

Heres a look at some of my hectic morning, I wrote to stave off some stress, it's all better now.

I'm sticking myself in sensory deprivation for a sec.
(10:26 am}
It's the day of the fair, I woke up to the sound of screaming kids, bright lights and the smell of things that come out of people.
My oldest has lice again so that puts my partner C.J. out of commission for most of the morning, thats a crippling development, I need her help. Most of the peole milling around are way more into congratulating themselves than actually helping out. The Clown House is a ghost of what it once was.
The boy is just a baby with some lungs and no appreciation for the big show or dad's nerves,I handed him off to some boarders that are staying here and gave them my last money, it didn't help, he still screamed at me as I worked and that shrill noise breaks me down to a pool of quivering frustration. Thanks for the no-help Friends...I took him back, kissed my money goodbye and as hard as it is, I love him but i gave him to a very busy Caffeine Jones.
Being the boss of the show means I'm getting asked the same question over and over again, I have to make hard decisions and also I gotta do it with some kind of politeness even when I want to throw the person I'm talking to in front of a speeding school bus.
I have to chase the dog and kids while trying to put on a class act, secure props, tell the crew what to do and write the show it's stress city.
I'm locked in the office of the Clown House and tried to calm down.
Looking around I'm reminded that this one of the last times I will be able to retreat here, we have to move away from my sanctuary, that isn't very stress relieving after all.
I closed the shades, put on some Bach on harpsichord, had a bowl of 1000 temples and waited for the aspirin to kick in (i NEVER take any kind of pill or powder drug, this is just a big headache).
My mind was still moving too fast so I had to write to you and show you why my smile has to be painted on.
Helpful people have shown up... well both useful people as well as useless folks and all the satellite people who follow them, just the sheer number of people means things are working out after all.
Most of my problems have melted away so far and I feel a bit stupid for being so mad.
The props are loaded, the children are off on a rare adventure with a blood relative(C.J.s sister THANK YOU!!!!!)we have BBQ stuff to sell and trade and a lot of talent.
Wish us luck!
*Like what we do? Donation bucket!

Friday, June 22, 2007

look at today's Portland Tribune (click)

Peter Korn did a fine conversation with me with a photo by L.E.Basklow, too tired to tell much more other than the fact that the reporter actually made me laugh.
I had a long day yesterday with the weddin and all.

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

“Apple the Hillbilly roach eater

I've been riding my bike around NE Portland for hours looking for the next pad, it's exhausting, still a good thing, and bike riding is relaxing when you aren't getting hit by a car.
I'm not really finding anything that matches our needs, it's a tall order.
We need to keep the circus and family in different houses so we don't get peanut butter on the machetes or broken glass in the toy box.
No houses have “For rent” on them here, I'm looking for a big house with something wrong with it.
If we find a busted house then the chances are, the owner won't care who lives in the house.
As long as it gets fixed up and the rent gets payed, they don't care if clowns live there, build stuff operate crazy contraptions thats what it was here.
I want to continue our free bike shop, and still give shelter to traveling circus workers and other such hobos, we need a big house for that. ” he sounds like Davy Crockett or Al Gore, something about the Tenn.
Yesterday a few travelers came in from Texas, one is “Apple the Hillbilly roach eater croon voice, I love it.
We sat in the yard talking about all the cities in Texas that we have lived in, as we spoke all the stories eventually got rough and or gory, I was glad to be here in Portland OR..
There is a city in Texas called Portland, it's where the highway cops train new speed trappers, it's hell if you don't live there.
If you do live in Portland Texas then the chances are great that the arresting officer went to high school with you.
I saw a white power skinhead jump out of a car in a major intersection, attack a woman who had a broken leg with a golf club (for no reason) and the cop waiting for the light just yelled “MARK GO HOME!” He jumped back in and I drove him home (in a stolen car).
I was repo'ing a lot of cars at the time so they were used to seeing my driving to Corpus Christi in freshly reported stolen cars, they just waved me on.
No more crime (or cars) these days, just bikes and clowning, it's a good life in Portland Oregon.

Monday, June 18, 2007


Rossini inspires me, so does this story about him, click above to read about him.

Today is the bikini bike wash, part fund raiser and part freak show.
I love it, last year was so fun and this year will be the last such event in this location.
bring a couple bucks (not required)and a dirty bike and play some dice.
about the bikini part...
I left it open to interpretation, prizes for best of show,Hot Dice winner, second place and turd prize.
1.Riot cop gift basket:(a 7 inch record made if tin that really plays, one side has music the other a political rant, also the screen printed zine "Chapter13" by Riot Cop front clown Alex Lilly.I may have a Riot Cop poster or two.
2. A gift cert to Office on Alberta:
3. burritos from Don Pancho's on Alberta.
t.Turd be announced
on news of the longer term,
Still no idea where we will live or how.
The idea so far is for the kids and the clowns to live in seperate houses.
A duplex would be good, I want to work free of distraction.
If you see anything in the yard or house that you can't live without let me know, we have to leave and if i'm only packing out with a backpack that would be great.
I'm writing 5 stories as of now, two for stage, one novel, one radio theatre and a picture book about the Clown House on Alberta street.
I got a commision to paint a rubber chicken that was lost, the patron brought me a small plastic chicken that resembles the one she had through college, she wants me to paint it flying over Mt.St.Helens.
On the sterio: Rush, ozzy, Bach, loony tunes and us (same thing I had on in 1992).
In my gut: coffee and butterflies.

Friday, June 15, 2007

last year's bikini bike wash

people love us:

ahahaha, serves y'all right. Remember 5 years ago when y'all were bragging about "chasing away drug dealers with cinder blocks", YOU ALL are part of the reason Alberta and most of NEP was gentrified so rapidly so dont come crying to us about how you are "classed out" of the neighborhood. Go play your silly clown games in the pearl district and bother the yuppies instead of me. Cylce of gentrification: First its the punks, then the weirdos, then the artists, then the yuppies, rinse, repeat. I am seriously laughing at you. Thanks for ruining Alberta Street you buster

Wednesday, June 13, 2007


Rossini inspires me, so does this story about him.
Today is the bikini bike wash, part fund raiser and part freak show.
I love it, last year was so fun and this year will be the last such event in this location.
Still no idea where we will live or how.
The idea so far is for the kids and the clowns to live in seperate houses.
A duplex would be good, I want to work free of distraction.
If you see anything in the yard or house that you can't live without let me know, we have to leave and if i'm only packing out with a backpack that would be great.
I'm writing 5 stories as of now, two for stage, one novel, one radio theatre and a picture book about the Clown House on Alberta street.
I got a commision to paint a rubber chicken that was lost, the patron brought me a small plastic chicken that resembles the one she had through college, she wants me to paint it flying over Mt.St.Helens.
On the sterio: Ozzy diary of a mad man.
In my gut: coffee and butterflies.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

it's the 18th MONDAY


I'm waiting for my friend to get here from Tennessee, it got me to rememb'rin what I did in Tennessee.
The first time I was there it looked like a tv Christmas special.
I was in the corporate circus, we were headed to West Virginia to do shows in the two big cities there.
I was riding in a big rig with Pee Wee (a 70 year old ex elephant trainer turned profiteer,
James, my 19 year old boss and head tormentor and JR, a human pimple.
The whole circus caravan drove through treacherous mountain roads in the snow until we eventually found a diner. We (they)passed the time discussing just how much of a queer I was.
For the record, in all the years I knew those guys, I'm the only one who EVER had a girlfriend and I did it twice, not bad for only being in towns for a day or two.
The windows were frosty and it was warm inside, snow covered forest stood in all other directions, it was beautiful.
Because I was the youngest on the concession crew I had to sit in the passenger seat, it was uncomfortable and there was a hole in the floor so it had been hours of frozen misery melting off when I got to the front door.
I sat at the table like a real human, I made sure not to sit anywhere near the buttholes I had been stuck with, I found a seat at a table next to the prop boss,s daughter Lania, I had a huge crush on her, she would amaze me every day with her high wire act.
She was my age but rarely spoke to me.
I had coffee, I didn't like coffee so much but I was trying to “age up” being the youngest feller there.
All the tables had wooden puzzles to do, and I smoked cigarettes and ate pie ala mode.
When we were leaving I looked into the woods at the winter wonderland.
I kept expecting to see Santa come out and maybe some Star Wars characters, it looked so TV but it was real.
That was circa 1988-89, many times I went back through that state and I found out that you can never return to magic moments, I just got to see something special.
The other times I visited were filled with desperate people doing desperate things, very surreal.
I once had to pretend to be a christian missionary to get off the Nashville streets, the church was just as bad and I even had to steal my clothes back and jump out a window to escape.
I hooked up with a school bus full of christian hippies headed out of town and never have been back.
Pee Wee retired, he was the nicest, his son was a boss in another part of the show and he was always good to me.
I don't know what happened to JR, I hope he went back to Misouri and got someone he didn't like pregnant.
James got his come up in's in Florida later that year, he was still making me sit in the bad seat so when he was asleep in the back, I tied his shoe laces to some knobs in the big rig cab.
When we stopped at a rest stop, he went to get out and dropped like a sack of old shoes.
I left the door of the cab open for him, he fell out and quickly was hanging upside down yelling at me.
I watched him pull his knife out and cut his laces and drop, back first.
His body had a long way to go before it hit the ground and we all could hear the air leave him as his back struck blacktop.
He popped up enraged and then his knees gave out and he kissed the floor again, he got back up and went after me.
Two things James didn't know, one is that I was taking the hazing because I wanted to be in the circus, not because of any weakness, in fact before I joined the circus I was a brawler and a hoodlum, the other thing James didn't know was that the prop crew was really mad at him for selling them wet fireworks (you can't make this crap up) I let him catch me and push me down in front of them.
He pulled his knife back out and I think he was going to cut off some of my hair (I don't think he was going to stab me.) thats when some red jumpsuits grabbed him off me, they took his knife away and they made him fight me fair.
When we got back to the truck, who had to sit in the hell chair?...hint
wasn't me.

Monday, June 11, 2007

I'm looking for a new place, it's really hard.

Most of the time, I don't know what I'm looking at.
I saw this one place nearby that wasn't too expensive but then I saw this
Move in:
$1200 Monthly
$1000 refundable deposit
$180 non-refundable
$25 application fee per adult
$500 refundable deposit on approved pets

is that ok?
Some are asking for $45 ap fee for each adult, thats steep.

I have a cool trick..

When I have a halfa cup of coffee left, I go ahead and pour it in the toilette, my room mates love it.

I popped out of the dirt

There are strange stirrings deep within my guts friends, I mean to be honest; I have been eating dumpstered fruit for weeks and I feel a bit of the “scoots” coming on, that's to be expected when your waiting for the “Grub Stubs” to come in.

This is far greater, stronger, louder.
Recently C. J. bestowed a gift on me, she led a “light” I was hunting into the fold.
I have been asleep for so many years I forgot who I was entirely, now I have woken.
I see a twisted, battered parody of my former self, a puppet in the shape of a king.
Thats not a bad thing friends, I'll take a felt sword over a Thompson any day.
This guy is going to live, the other one didn't have much chance, other than the advantage of magic, the disadvantages were paramount.
Magic got us this far, miles and miles away, I had left the chase, the other dogs out of sight or dead.
I must have plunged into a stasis to save my neck, I don't know how I keep surviving.

Things from the past that were long buried are filtering up, bubbling, memories and past knowledge. Years of high adventure and a lifelong pre-disposition for wizardry paint a map.
The clown face is a form of sorcery,I just ignore it.
You know there is and infinite stream of knowledge that we all possess, you can touch it too.
Your real name,
Your real purpose,
Your real song,
Mine keeps changing with the seasons,
There is dawning, a new season,
It's on,
all there
is left, is the
last word
of the
spell, which


From Franc our Indoniesian ex pat

"For those of you who don't remember the show from three years ago, Frac was the star.
He left fame and poverty in Portland to go with a girl to her country and just enjoy the poverty part, he did get there in time for a giant tidal wave, earthquakes and smog.
To his credit, he gets to play with monkeys everyday.His non clown (plainface) name, is Justin Flood

Hey Dude,

Are you moving out of the house? Have you moved yet? What are they doing with the place? I saw a satellite photo of the place on Google Earth the other day and you could see the stage and the shoe in the photo. Felt like the guy that built the Great Wall of China. And the stage didn't even require any slave labor, just luring a real carpenter into the backyard for a couple of hours with fun looking bikes.

It turns out that we weren't supposed to stay out of the country for over a year. So now we can't go home. We are now no longer American citizens or Indonesian citizens. We have some sort of gypsy status right now and I think the only place we're legal is Guam and I don't know where Guam is and don't have enough Rupiah to buy a ticket there, much less apply for a visa.

If we play our cards right (meaning we send hundreds of dollars to The Department of Homeland Security) we should be able to make it back by September. Then we'll come and bug you and probably start building something else you don't really want in your backyard for NASA to photograph...

Things are so much easier here. Whenever we have problems with my visa we just find the guy with the biggest mustache (following the theory of mustache to authority ratio) and slip him five dollars and a pack of cigarettes. Oh low level government corruption, how I will miss you.

Take care Dingo the Clown,

Justin the Expatriate

Sunday, June 10, 2007

Ever hear of Clowns without borders?

This is a letter form and to a friend of a friend, it looks like they say a lot so I'm posting it.

Dear Friends and Family,

Big hellos and smiles to you from Durban, South Africa, where our group
of eight has returned after spending three weeks in the Eastern Cape and
Northern KwaZulu-Natal, performing 26 shows for over 8,000 children and
adults in communities greatly affected by poverty and the HIV/AIDS

We also taught a week of circus workshops for a group of high school
students during our week in Ingwavuma. The students were extremely
receptive, ready to play, and willing to overcome their fear and try
scary things like turning upside-down and taking a walk on a pair of
stilts. They asked us to come back and teach them more; really,
everywhere we went on this expedition people were expressing interest in
long-term circus residencies. Each of our partner organizations
described a great need in their community for healthy, engaging
activities for kids and adults. In poor rural areas where people are
facing hardship and tragedy and there's very little to do, many
community members spend a lot of time drinking, starting at a very young
age. Some kids, living on their own after their parents die of AIDS,
start drinking and doing drugs and are joined by friends who run away
from home to live where there's no supervision. Of course circus arts
can't change all this, but they can engage, inspire, and provide an
alternative pasttime.

For me, while this expedition was very much about these shows and
workshops, it was just as much about the group of artists I was
traveling with. While they have all been studying and performing circus
arts for years, for many this was their first time performing as clown
characters and touring as an ensemble. We gave each other notes on the
show at the end of each day. It was amazing to watch the changes over
the course of our three weeks - Bongiwe opening her eyes to the
audience, Bongekile feeling the power of a well-timed look, Mr.
Fish learning that just a wiggle of his bony knees can send the audience
into hysterics. The idea is that this trip, along with the training
they do through Cirkus Cirkor's Circus Life Program at the BAT Centre in
Durban, will help these extremely talented folks develop their careers
as performing artists (and have the confidence to stand up and ask to be
paid as much as their white colleagues).

Below are two short journal entries about our experiences written by
Wonderboy and Bongiwe, who were on the expedition.

Much love,

May 14, 2007 - Eshowe - Wonderboy Manana

The bell rang at Thembimfundo Special School in Eshowe. Children with
challenges and disabilities came and assembled at the open space of the
schoolyard. Some of us took our individual and partner responsibilities
in organizing the kids and childcare workers and staff as an audience to
sit and watch the show, while others set up the stage and got ready to
showcase one of our outstanding performances.

One of the most entertaining scenes is a child who cannot stand or walk
and rolled himself around on a skateboard does a handstand after being
inspired by our performance. The most fun moment was after the show
when the kids got to the dance circle with joy and laughter. I played
the music and we took turns dancing into the circle.

It was also interesting after our show to let them try other skills like
juggling balls, walking on stilts and some other acrobatics.

May 24, 2007 - Ingwavuma - Bongiwe Mabuya (translated from isiZulu)

We arrived on Sunday at Ingwavuma Orphan Care (IOC) where we met the
director, Dr. Anne Barnard. Ingwavuma is a dry, cold rural village in
the northeast corner of KwaZulu-Natal. The IOC gave us 3 of their staff
members who are working in different projects with children offering
childcare support at schools in the area. On Monday, they took us to
the first school, Mlambongwenya Primary School where we performed one of
our most polished shows bringing fun and laughter to all the students.
They all enjoyed it a lot which was a relief to the childcare workers
who appreciated our visit from Durban and efforts in putting a smile on
the face of the children. On the same day, we visited another school
named Lundini Combined Primary School has experienced a lot of poverty
and HIV/AIDS. Six children were about to go home because one of their
family members had passed away but stayed to see the show first.

On our second day, we visited a school named uNonjinijikali Primary
School. We immediately saw that there is a need for the children to buy
shoes, jerseys, and even food as it was very cold in the area.
When they were watching the performance, we could see that there is not
much entertainment available that gives them laughter and enjoyment to
forget their painful past experiences. We also visited another school
named Lubambo Primary School where we received a warm welcome. The
students had been looking forward to seeing our show even though it was
very cold and windy. Again, some of the children were not even wearing
jerseys or shoes. When we started our show, they forgot about the cold
weather enjoying our routines so much!
Some of the teachers asked for our contact details afterwards for maybe
doing a workshop with the kids in order to cope with challenges at home
and at school. Maybe some day soon.


Clowns Without Borders is supported for the most part by individuals
like YOU! It is the big and small donations that make these expeditions
and the thousands of smiles and happy hearts possible. We are currently
fundraising to be able to continue Project Njabulo's work with HIV/AIDS
affected caregivers and children in August 2007.

Please make a tax-deductible donation to CWB by sending a check made out
to "Clowns Without Borders" to:

Clowns Without Borders
540 Alabama, #215
San Francisco, CA 94110

Online donations can be made via Paypal at

Saturday, June 09, 2007

BIKE PORN was a blast! (click here for pics)

We held down a line that ran around the block, entertaining the people during Rev. Phil's Bike Porn Movie at the Clinton Street Movie Theatre this last friday,
It's really what we do well, working without a net.
Bizzy did some head stands to show off her underwear,we all bugged the crowd, humiliated them and offered them awful sex.
I would run up and ask a large group "Who Wants ta get Layed??
When someone said "I DO"
Miss Dameener would run up and say "Then crawl up a chickens ass HAW HAW HAW!"
There were so many people we could do that gag over and over again.
We rode around screwing for hours, Officer Down, took his gal Mis Demeener to the moon, I just had some sex with my 26" red love cat The General Lee (it's a girls bike with a dead generals name).

Inside the bike porn movies rocked,I sure enjoyed watching my friends get it on with bikes on the silver screen.
We did some live stuff on stage, I screwed up pretty good by being clumsey.
In the script, I was to take outt the MC's (Jason) legs and make him pleasure Officer Down, I didn't realize that the MC was attached to a microphone that was in turn attached to some electronic gizmos full of flashing lights and stuff.
I grabbed the nude dude and threw him at Pinga, he went down, the mic went with him and all watched in horror as the whole bank of gizmos hit the floor!
Other than that the whole thing went off great, a good time was had by all of us.

I loved meeting all the people that dwell near Clinton St.
After the movie was the midnight mystery ride, it should have been called "The EPIC Midnight Mystery ride.
We met in an intersection and dwelled for a bit as our numbers grew, then we jutted out into the neighborhood.

I estimate there were around 150-300 of us gliding on bikes through a neighborhood like a giant electric slug made of red and white lights.
At some point we ran into another ride, a bigger one, we all merged and became hundreds of people riding in the dark.
From a tall bike the view is like a floating city, I felt like I could have just walked from Bike to bike.
Amazing ride littered with flat tires, busted gear bathroom breakers.
We went down into some trails that led into the woods.
I can't tell you what we did.
After abit so many folks were drunk I no longer could stand to talk to them,
I rode home, slept, woke up and was a judge in the Stump Town Joust Down.
Peet won.

Friday, June 08, 2007


Hey yall, it was great seeing all of you at the Pedalpalooze kickoff parade last night.
I sure am sore from riding so hard, more riding to come.
I'm about to head out into Portland with Ood and Ace, we are bringing some tricks, some comedy and tall bikes to try and eek out a living from one of the hardest busking towns I have ever seen.
People like what we do but don't know that we are doing it for tips.
Because you dialed into the old Dizmal Digest, I'll give you the skinny on how we operate.
First we cruz crowded places waving and making fun,
The whole way people hoot and yell nice stuff at us, often they know our character names and yell that out, thats an always thing, I'm waiting to see at least 10 people looking at us.
As soon as one of the guys sees a camera come out then we know it's time to stop.
I break out the banjo and start playing speed metal or clownabilly style to the guys juggling, if the crowd is older I do ragtime or blue grass.
We go through some clowning and tricks until one of many finales (they depend on the terrain)and then ask for money.
wish us luck.
then tonight BIKE PORN at the Clinton Theatre

Thursday, June 07, 2007

Bike porno movie night this Friday!!

OK it's been too stressful dealing with the trials of life, when things get heavy, ya gotta throw the universe a curve.
This 6 8 07 we will be helping Clown House Alumni Rev. Phil with his bike porn film festival.
You should come down and help us have lots of sex with our bikes and eachother.

a conversation with a friend...

Hey guys,

I've meet you a guys in person a few times, I did an article in our
neighborhood Concordia paper and had the the Oregonian contact you for
Sunday article a few weeks back.

Anyways, I'm just a neighbor who has gotten involved in the Last
committee or group or what ever you want to call it. Basically here's
low down and you already know this but.....
The event has gotten so big that there' are a few major issues, crowd
control,open containers and people not from the hood' not respecting the
area late into the night There has been several meetings with biz
neighbors and the City of Portland. The City has pretty much said either
hood gets control of this or else they'll have to step in.

The "Clown House" keeps getting brought up not because of you exactly
the large crowds that show up and all hang in the streets and drink out
the open.

Any chance you can make a meeting next Thursday 6/14 at 6:30 at Acad Ballroom to represent yourself and how you can help?????

Let me know or I could stop by and give you some more info,
> >

>From: "Swave Lestrange"
>To: "Matt S"
>Subject: Re: Last Thursday meeting 06/14 at 6:30pm
>Date: Wed, 06 Jun 2007 09:07:02 -0700
>Well Matt (this is Dingo here hi)
>We couldn't afford to live here a year ago when the rent went up $300,
>we stayed an extra year and blew our savings on rent just because we
>didn't want to leave our home and friends.
>It's now the end of that year I'm broke, and I'm tired.
>Most of the artists that were here when we got here many years ago have
>since been classed out and all the new people look the same; a blur in
>a passing SUV or your standard socks and sandals consumer, who gawks but
>would never get involved or pitch in, not our crowd at all.
>Just like the Mississippi neighborhood, we brought huge crowds who spend
>money in shops and restraunts but in the end we get nothing.
>Well , I did get bitched out by soccar mom who did't know anything about
>me and had California plates.
>Last Thursday costs me money, it was't until this Last Thursday that we
>got a pitch in from a buissness owner, we charge other communitys $200
>at least to come entertain at street pertys Magnus gave us our fee this
>month I'm grateful but it was too little too late.
>I don't drink, I don't like booze and it's shitty to be blamed for all
>the drunks, when we got here there were two bars, now there are bars all
>over the place and drunks have begun trashing my fence and equipment, I
>expect they will soon go full on (Like in Eugene UofO) and begin burning
>dumpsters because a sports team won or lost.
>The events of Last Thursday are the same as always, just now the "real
>estate termites" have been marketing Alberta street to the next
>generation of yuppies, that resolves itself as a street full of Frat
>boys and drunk morons.They are the ones who fight in the street and
>break stuff.I loved the Oregonian article because I read it like this:
>Heres some fun people who won't be here long so come get an over priced
>I cant wait to leave this ungrateful place to it's fate, I hope they
>build a parking lot on our space.
> I'm working on a plan to take the crowd with us. Or at least set them
> up elsewhere before we go.
>I have been in talks with some "Peoplemovers" I know in the media and
>street organisers, I asked them to help me attract the crowds away from
>Alberta street and to Alberta Park or some other non consumer venue so
>we can explore art,music and friendship.
>We are looking at England, Austin Texas and if I get my way somplace
>here in Portland for the next Clown House, We are Portland People, I
>love this town, I wish we had some funding, somewhere somebody has a
>neighborhood that needs a crowd to spend money in shops, We can do
>that,no problem I'm just going to make a deal first so we don't get
>hosed ala Mississippi/Alberta.
>I'm the boss so it's up to me to lead my people to prosperity, I owe
>them that, they work hard.
>I wish you knew how much love we get from real people, everywhere I go,
>I hear my name all around are smiles and goodwill.
>Matt, I'm not bitching you out, I think you are a good fella, I
>apreciate you telling me we are getting scapegoated and sending the
>press my way.
>I'm just telling you why the meeting would be a bad idea for us, my
>people are far less diplomatic than I am, they gave a lot and got
>nothing, at this point I'm no picnic ether, I'm wrapped tightly with
>stress and if I went I imagin I would do a lot of shouting and chest
>poking, I want to retain as much class as I can.Plus we only have two
>more months here (A lot of tears on that subject)and we need to focus on
>a new home.
>I hope I didn't offend you Matt, you seem to be helping us defend
>ourselves. Thank you.
>lots of Alberta shops are on my cool/recomend list.
my cool/recomend list:
Concordia coffee
Star e rose coffee
black cat coffee
hair of the dog
Don Poncho's
Alberta coop
Tin shed
Those people (and some I have forgotten) have been behind us as long as I remember, the rest can
fall off this flat Earth.

Show full header

Yo Dingo,

For sure I’ve always defended you guys when people that aren’t from our
neighborhood have misconceptions or try to pin negativity on your group.
The artistic spirit that you (as a collective) have brought to Portland and
to Alberta has been amazing.

I understand you completely not wanting to attend a meeting at this point in
the game; I just thought you might want to be there. Seems really the #1
issue per the City is the amount people that spill out into the streets on
your corner. Some dumbasses don’t realize it’s a street and they need to get
moving. Trust me I wish parts of the street would be shut down but that’s a
different story. The reasons that I’m helping out and most of the other
people are that we don’t want Last Thursday to become First Thursday or a
drunken frat party.

As far as being priced out that issue goes back to the beginning of the
time, an area that nobody wants to live in suddenly becomes “cool” to the
mainstream and in its wake, overpriced housing, $12 hamburgers and coffee
shops every 5 feet. Don’t get me wrong, I love Alberta and there are a lot
of people doing positive things such as yourselves but everything is
changing rapidly.

For the low or middle income that actually bought house years ago, it’s
great to see them prosper in something that normally they get shut out of
and I guess we’re lucky that the businesses that have popped have been
independent and a lot are owned be people that live in the area and have
more than just a $$$ stake to it.

Keep on rockin my friend,

Last Thursday sucked again (article by Bernie)

Holy Bike lights Batman! It was an amazing day indeed during the Last Thursday, Art walk, event on Alberta street (by amazing, I mean amazingly lame)the other night.
The embattled Clown House was (as usual) the focal point of bike love for the evening.
It is a show of wonder, and totally amazing how those folks have kept it together all these years.
They got grief from all angles, the city shut down their bike shop, the county took money but still shut down the hot dog cart, people promise help that never comes and of course theres the probl;em of drunks breaking up the place.
Add that to the sky high rent and constant threat of homelessness, those clowns are gluttons for punishment.
You wouldn't be able to tell from the attitudes though all night it seemed, constant sorties of bikes poured to and from the Clown House like winged monkeys. all ages, all kinds of bikes and all smiles I must say. They have a guy (Capt. Ace) who rides a red, hand made, Tri-plane bike, it towers above the biggest bike they have.
Strange and pointless noisemakers were attached to funny bikes and at on point I saw three tall bikes barreling down the road corralling a beautiful girl who was sprinting in front of them wearing bunny ears, sneakers and a bikini. They have a “Spin Bike” that makes me dizzy just looking at the Cowboy clown ride it.
The band was a very energetic group of young people called "Everyday Prophets" they played for hours. This band is going somewhere, all the music was positive in nature, thats important.
They had “Pete the Great” bet knownas the Ninja Turtle who jousts on a super tall unicycle.
Is this UNREAL or what????
I looked like all the personal autonomy of past events except for two main and incredible changes.
This month, as people from all bikes of life mingled and had fun, they were joined by two new factions: The neighborhood do-gooders in reflective vests and the Portland Police who had no problem dispersing people who may be blocking the cars right of way.

The neighborhood malitia "The Last Thursday Presurvation Society"made a “Courtesy call” to the Clown House reminding them to shut up after 10 oclock.
I later found out that they have only the intention of keeping the police away and are no threat.
I hear a power mad buissness owner decided to make her own rules and throw a vest on.
She made her cohorts look like chumps by going in the yard at exactlly 10 oclock and yelling at everyone.
That could have killed the evening but the clowns huddled and made a plan.
What happened was a first in Clown House, Gladiator event history; the joust was a silent one, we had to do the games without the most important part, the yelling.
The guy with the bullhorn (Ood) must introduce the contenders, inform the crowd of rank and tell them when to go. Without that, the event suffered.
“It's over, we gotta move house to another hood and start from scratch.”
decried Dingo Dizmal the circus boss “It's much easier to move the show to a better place than get noise permits or play the MAN's game I at least owe that much to the crew, they work hard.”

Four hot clown gals managed to keep the crowd quiet for at least 6 jousts but then a guy got naked and jousted Turbo, Turbo put him down like he was a bag of crap. The crowd couldn't help it and they let out a cheer that would rival the ancient roman arenas.
It was that noise that prompted the police to ask everyone to leave the Clown House, they just moved 15 feet to the left and continued to have fun.

Nothing has changed about the Art Walk other than the real estate developers who have began marketing the neighborhood to the next crop of Young Urban Professionals. They show themselves in the form of “Frat mentality” it's very prone to street scuffles and other "puddin head" behavior. As the clown boss said “It's over”
The guys in the vests got a big thank you from some of the buissness owners,
"Thank you so much, our clients were all high end this time"
That ticked the L.T.P.S. off, can you imagin getting people together for community policing with the intent of preserving artists and craftspeople and ending up clearing the undesirables for super expensive restraunts.
I say punish the buissnesses and move the party to Alberta Park.
The street is no longer a personal autonomous zone, It's focus is money, the buissness association is gathering and will only include a small number of buissnesses (rich ones)it's more like a baby First Thursday.

Clowns fight the good fight in Germany

I just saw some clowns doing a ring around the roses around riot cops on TV. I couldn't find any footage online.

They were protesting the g8 summit in Germany

I got so exited to see the fresh faced clowns dancing in a wide circle around some troops trudging up a hill.
A lot of people got hurt by the Man out there during the protest and my heart goes out to them.
I have been in more than a few riots in my time and a LOT MORE regular protests that went off fine.
People talk smak about protesters but where would we be without the civil rights movement or womans sufferage?
I'm really emotional this week, changes are comming, I have been in this box on Alberta street for a long time, I go months without leaving a 30 block radius.

Anyway, it was a treat to see kids on the other side of the globe doing some rare thing that's a huge part of my life.

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

We have to find a new Clown House

I still havent found out any ideas for new digs.
I gotta see to it that our whole tribe clears out of this place and moves somewhere else.
This joint needs to be clean as a whisle and I don't know what will be out there
Ideal would be a compound where the kiddos can live apart from the circus proper.
It's still a bit early to be looking for Sept.I'm gonna work on the house through June and do both all through July come Aug.we have to have something, it's a gamble but I have no choice.
Clown Magic happens plus Iv'e been an amature wizard since I was 9, I think this story is going to just keep getting better.
I wanted to see about Austin Texas where our freak show lives but to get there we would have to walk, plus I'm a Portland guy, this is the best city I've ever met.

fan of tall bike jousting? click here(*)

The Stump Town Joust Down is this Sat. at 2oclock Col .Summners park.
I was asked to be a judge, it's gonna rock!
The conversation they had cracked me up.

Monday, June 04, 2007


Thanks Julie and Ike, we wuz late on renewing food stamps and yall brought over a huge box of healthy food...Blessings and much thanks.

Now dig this. Gypsey Heather went onto our site and copied some images, then she made buttons of them out of bottle caps, sealant and saftey pins.
She sold them duringt the Last Thursday event and donated the money to the "Clown House Fund For Advancment".
Wonderful loyalty to the cause, much thanks, you have been a close friend of the Clown House for years now.Thank you.

Jessie took care of the little one while we worked and did a bang up job,, she got to have screaming, needy poop factory while I got to be rockstar clown.
You got your reward plus $3 an hour but thanks still, it was a rough morning

XChez What?

When we got to Alberta street from Mississippi ave, there were three places to drink: Chez What? (seedy punk bar) Joes (seedy neighborhood bar), and Binks (?). The crowd that came on Last Thursdays all lived here. It wasn't long before real estate people "Invited" so many morons to the party.
Now there are so many places to get booze we are swimmin in drunks. My place got trashed the other night. I just found our solar powered spot light smashed on the ground. It was up 7 feet on a pole.
The fence was deliberately stomped, and a bike or two got stolen. I expect some damage, but sheesh.
I think I'm glad I get to find new digs.
Have you seen anything we might be able to move the tribe into?

Sunday, June 03, 2007

Come get a painting!

Dingo's Celebrated, Rubber Chicken set of Paintings!
See them at "Local Beet"right next to the Clown House.
They have a lot of Vegan Options, outdoor seating and BOOZE!
Because it's across the alley from my place I cut the prices a bit.

Saturday, June 02, 2007

my 8 year old

I was giving my 8 year old a ride home on the back of my bike.
I told her that next year she would be old enough to take the bus or bike home on her own.
She said “Boy dad, I bet your gonna really love not having to give me rides home anymore.”
It's close to the end of the year, the kid is super smart and healthy.
I remembered the last 5 years of her school career, it was great.
Since the beginning I have brought her to or from school tucked in my bike somewhere.
I was a stay at home dad for a lot of it, she is my project and the love of my life.
I realized that this was going to be one of the last times I gave my baby a ride on my bike.
The ritual is almost over, her babyhood long gone, my kid is well on her way to flying on her own.
I started crying as I drove the giant bike across the city getting back home before a gig.
She went on telling me about her day, not noticing that I had so many tears in my eyes I could hardly see.
When she got home, she threw her back pack in the yard, left a trail of shoes, socks, papers and other flotsom through the house and plopped herself in front of a television.
I still have some work to do on this “project”.

Things I admit:

I haven't had a drivers license or food handlers permit since the late 80s.
I have never payed car insurance.
After a shower I dry my face, THEN my groin.

tv casualty

I dumpstered a TV. I was getting some bottles for the “Stunt Banjo” part of the show and someone had left out a color tv. My bike is a flat bed truck too so I had plenty of room to tie it on my ride.
I got it home and compared with the one I dumpstered 3 years ago. For starters it was way lighter than the current one, that's cool.
The old one got PBS and Fox (or as I call it, the truth and a lie.) the new one gets about 7 channels or so
I just found out though that theres nothing on any of them.
It's amazing whats left out around here.
I find stuff in places that are middle class neighborhoods in good cites.
If the hood is too poor (like San Antonio) then they won't have anything of value other than maybe some foods, too rich and there are no garbage cans out ever.
This tv is awesome, I used to like to watch Cops at 4:20 am, this new tv lets me also see Cops at 2pm.
So I have many more channels and still nothing to watch.

pinga's peeps

I talked to Pinga's relative today, it was great!
His family members are calling a lot, because he is getting married soon.
Last month, the phone would ring, I pick it up, no sound, just before I hang up I hear “Tiago ev2y2t1c?”
I would advise that he is gone to work, then loooong silence, then “Tiago wwbvrivie?”
I would again repeat myself, eventually hanging up and feeling like a dope.
I knew that Pinga's dad won the Nobel Prize, but I wondered wondered if his mom may be retarded.
Why would someone ask a question, ponder it for a long time, and then act like they didn't hear me.
I mustered the courage to approach Pinga about it, I walked up to him about to ask “ Say Pinga, is your Mama retarded?” He probably wouldn't engage me on the spot but I bet I would find something evil in my bed or food.
He told me that theres a delay in the broadcast, as it travels from Brazil to here. They sound like that because we aren't in the same space and time.
You learn somethin every day.