Thursday, August 31, 2006

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

meeting

Today we had THE meeting.
Not A meeting, THE meeting.
For months now we have been saving money and bracing for the commin rent increase, well it's upon us and it SuCKS!
Our rent went from 12 hunnerd to $1500 a month, we had to sit down and raise everyones rent, the way we did it was to have the folks bargain and haggle for how much they could afford, most of them are just scraping by as it is.
Pinga suprized me for giving himself a rent increase without us having to pull his teeth, he is the cheapest dude here and he offered it willingly, that was cool, that's why he is the treasurer of the Circus fund.
When it comes down to it (and including all the other stuff I pay for year in and year out) I really pay a lot, but I also make more money than anyone else here (by working the most hours) and I get a lot of money from investing in the hot dog cart.
Looks like besides the Shmanarchist Idol show at 7 on Last Thursday, it's gonna be an all out struggle for cash on that day, the Idol show will pay the people who perform in tips, it won't be much.
Will told me he was instaling himself into our house and his girlfriend wasn't too happy about it.
I saw Caffeine and said "It's not like anyone TOLD Will to move in"
she said "Oh Pinga told him to move in."
I guess he lives here now.
At the end we were still quite short of the rent ($50) then I wrote about it on our marqee and a dude kicked me ten.
Hey bub, Got $40 to throw away on some clowns?
We need a grant for some of this stuff we do.

rehearsing and then performing "Dumpsters and Dragons"





Saturday, August 26, 2006

my friend's event

Hey everyone, Urban Scout here.
Some of you are already signed up for the camp, others I thought might be interested... now that it's free! Come join in on the insanity! Share your skills with everyone, learn new ones... have a fun urban adventure. If you want to know more call me at 310.254.6410.

We will be meeting at my house on monday morning (august 28th) at 10am.

1417 SE 34th
Portland OR 97214

As you may or may not know there will be *no charge for this weeklong post-apocalyptic living class!* Please bring $25 for food money though.

Remember to show up with all of the supplies. Please forward this on to anyone else you know who is going to the camp, who I have not included in the list, or anyone you think might want to go.

Thanks!

Disclaimer
Please remember, all the supplies will be carried in your backpack and on your bike. Do not pack more than you can carry. Some supplies will be taken away as we make primitive replacements.

Required Supplies
-Light weight sleeping bag
-Backpack
-Bicycle*
-Bike Lock
-Bike Helmet
-Clothes for rain or shine*
-Tarp for shelter
-Parachute chord
-Swim suit & terry cloth towel
-1 bar of Dr. Bronners soap
-1 weeks worth of toilet paper
-Personal toiletries
-Carving knife or Leatherman tool
-Water container
-Metal bowl
-Mini first aid kit
-Personalized bandanna
-Lightweight book of poetry
-Journal and writing utensils
-Small bag of birdseed
-Dog biscuits
-$25 emergency burial/bail/bribe money

*Must be apocalyptic looking. Think "Mad Max."

Optional Supplies
Optional Supplies Adult (21 +)
Water Purifyer, Wrist Rocket, Flask, Bamboo Kendo Sword, Candles, Cards/Dice/Bones for Gambling, Gambling items include; condoms, cigarettes, pain killers, snacks.

Optional Supplies Youth (Under 21)
Water Purifyer, Wrist Rocket, Candles, Bamboo Kendo Sword, Cards/Dice/Bones for Gambling, Gambling items include; dried snacks such as nuts and berries, candy cigarettes.

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Handmade Bazaar 2006

Summer Handmade Bazaar 2006
Buy / Sell / Trade
Crafts, Music, Food and Fun!

Saturday, August 26th & Sunday, August 27th
@ Acme
SE 8th and Main
Portland, Oregon
Sale runs from 12 PM - 5 PM each day

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Shmanarchist Idol

Got talent? Bring it to the Clown House August 31st and do your thing for hundreds of people on the stage overlooking the wonderful Mud Pit of Doom.
You may win a prize and you will get tips if you in fact have talent.
Contact us for info at clownhouse.org

Hey Liz this is for your zine!

Dig this,
Here are some things we found to be helpful.
#1. (REUSE)Some onions and tomatos come in plastic net bags,after you eat the produce you can use the bag as a dish scrubber.
#2.(BUCKET FLUSH)Keep a five gallon bucket around the bathtub and washing machine so you can use the water twice to flush the toilet.
#3.(FOOD NOT LAWNS) A lawn full of grass is crazy, lawns full of food puts you in control of what you eat and I bet the planet likes anything that keeps those nasty lawnmowers parked.
#4.(darn it) If you didn't know about sewing patches with dental floss, it's really strong.
#5.(keep dry from back wheel spray)Roll up a newspaper and lay it in your bike rack or stuff it under your seat to make a handy-dandy rain guard,the free weeklies and laminated rental guides work great.
#6.(WEEED!)If you want a toke and don't have a potato or apple to carve, a glass eyedropper from one of those hippy potions makes a good pinch hitter.
#7.(uh....)#6 made me forget #7 and I don't know why.
#8.(scrubbing stubborn dishes) Mix lemon juice & salt to make an abrasive bleaching agent. Good for cutting boards, pots&pans, & bathrooms.
#9.(WAR) If you're caught in a Napoleonic war, and are facing cavalry attacks, have your infantry form two lines the first kneeling in the shape of a square (it worked in a dream).
#10.(laundry)You can do a whole load of washing with 1 oz. Dr.Bronner's castille soap and two tbsp. baking soda the soap gets the washing clean and the baking soda gets the stench of your critch rot out.
#11.(not saying you should drive but...)If you drive in the snow, you can do three things:drive, break and stop, just not at the same time.

K fed tight

KFED KFED kfed Kfed
KFED KFED kfed Kfed
KFED KFED kfed Kfed
KFED KFED kfed Kfed
KFED KFED kfed Kfed tight tight tight
KFED KFED kfed Kfed
KFED KFED kfed Kfed
KFED KFED kfed Kfed
KFED KFED kfed Kfed
KFED KFED kfed Kfed
KFED KFED kfed Kfed
KFED KFED kfed Kfed
KFED KFED kfed Kfed
Ha Ha now hundreds of 8-10 year olds will follow search links to this blog thinking it's about Kevin Federline and go WHAT the HELL iz this?
Hey Kids!
What the hell iz that?

found the devil

Well, turns out that the devil was created to push out the existing religion of a conquered land.
http://altreligion.about.com/library/glossary/symbols/bldefscernunnos.htm

random FAQ
http://www.usedfaqs.com/
Some of our songs
http://www.bigbangcirkus.com/pepto.html

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

4:20 AM

Have you ever gotten to the end of whatever you were drinking and found a plump fly that had been in it the whole time? Iv.e eaten many roaches and other bugs for fun and profit so I'm not at all queezy about it, it's just a suprize and a start.
Well...that happened to me just now and I had to tell you about it...exept instead of a fly in my milk it was three pot brownies.

Monday, August 21, 2006

links

http://www.wishtv.com/Global/story.asp?S=5281752&nav=0Ra7

http://www.fieggen.com/shoelace/lacingmethods.htm

Stumps the drunken "clown" I hear claimed to have taught me all I know, this was my true inspiration http://www.bindlestiff.org/

day off

I don't get many days off but when I do it's great.
I have been keeping myself entertained during the work week by doing stuff that takes a long time like timing my G.I. tract with colorful food and writing music.
Now I gotta do some yard work.
The Tug O War event thats been developing has grown into two teams so far and I'm planning a hot dice tourney with a 25 buck gift certificate to a record store and a shiny pink road bike.
write me for details.

Thursday, August 17, 2006

kbooboo

Dearest Radio Listeners,
It's that time once again to tune in and remind yourself why you love living in Portland (or perhaps why you'd like to move here). This month, the theme of DIY, Portland is artists building community through shared creative space. Through the magic of radio, we will travel to a warehouse called the Egg, where several mixed media artists do their work and, on Monday nights, it's the practice space for the legendary March Fourth Marching Band. We'll also visit the Artistery, another artists' collective/venue space in SE Portland. Lastly, we'll enter the Clown House on Alberta St., where Dingo the Clown and Caffeine Jones have built a sustainable community in which several performing artists both live and work. Tune into KBOO 90.7FM or www.kboo.fm at 10am (pacific time) tomorrow (Thursday). For links to podcasts, downloads and click-and-play streaming, visit me on myspace (linked below). And don't forget to mark your calendars for next month's show (September 21), which will be all about building a low-power radio station in Woodburn, Oregon
Thanks for listening!
Julie on the Radio

http://www.myspace.com/julieontheradio

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

swing shift

Since I work the the swing shift, all I get to watch on the TV is infomercials.
That's OK, though. I'll never buy anything from the TV unless they were offering a set of press on gold teeth that have cowboy boots and oil rigs on them. I would buy that.
The one thats on now is for baldness pills and cream and plugs and a rug.
The guy is really bummed that he can't ever connect with a chick, because he looks like her dad. I understand that. it's a fact of life that some young people tend to look older than others.
Lots of guys look really hot just bald. Skin heads are kind of boring, but they look pretty cool, like jocks with better boots and less education. The American Bald Eagle is attractive, and so is the mascot from the electric company that's a giant anthropomorphic light bulb/human.
With male pattern baldness, it's kind of tricky to not look old, so just look FUN! Widen the horse shoe shape wider like a medieval catholic priest, and wear sweats with no underwear, a hoodie, socks in sandals, start a drinking problem and ride a bike thats slightly too small. mmmm, WOW!
Don't just let it grow long in the back, with the horse shoe pattern unless you're sporting dreadlocks, then you can work in a record store...or at least own a record store and tell everyone you just work there.
How about literally pouring a chrome dome?
People with real chrome domes would do well to find a lover that is really vain, so she can forever look at herself in his headgear.
I think the fashion should go back a few hundred years, and bring back the skull cap.
It would look great, and come in colors, polar fleece, and maybe denim.
There are plenty of variations, from a do-rag to a yamica. I bet we could make one that is fun to braid or attach lights to.
I bet the punkers would have skull caps sewn together out of frikkin bike tubes,
and have patches and lighter tops all over them. The hipsters would drape them over their bike seats and congratulate each other on how contrary they are. As clowns, we already have skull caps.
If you don't know what a skull cap looks like, think of "Ming" from "Flash Gordon."
"Ming the Merciless" sported what looked like an outer space Anton Levey, with the black, shiny leather. Don't wear that one unless you're an executioner by trade.
That just looks evil.
I think that if the trend caught on, dudes would find more gals that are willing to trade spit, and the ladies would have more to choose from in the dance floor gene pool.
Thats just off the top of my head.

Timo says go to Iron Artist

http://www.scrapaction.org/iron06.html

Iron Artist IV
August 19th, 2006
12:30pm - 8:00pm
In the Lot on the Corner of
North Vancouver and Failing
Price of admission is a sliding scale of $5-20.
All ages are welcome (under 12 free with adult).
All proceeds from this event benefit SCRAP
The School and Community Reuse Action Project (SCRAP) is hosting their 4th annual sculpture competition and fundraising event - IRON ARTIST - on Saturday, August 19th, 2006 in the lot on the corner of North Vancouver and Failing in Portland. The main attraction of this high-energy celebration of creative reuse is a timed three-hour "sculpt-off" where 10 teams of "scrap artistsas" create sculptures from reused materials provided by SCRAP and other local reuse organizations such as The ReBuilding Center, Free Geek and the ReStore. Each team will receive boxes of similar materials and race against the clock to create their masterpiece! A theme for the sculptures will be announced when the competition begins, and in the end, a panel of local celebrity judges will critique the final pieces and award the coveted Cup du SCRAP, a gold trash can adorned with Mardi Gras beads.

IRON ARTIST has been described as one part Iron Chef and one part Junk Yard Wars. The event is monitored by a raucous team of yellow-flag-throwing referees who hand out bonus points and demerits on a whim.

During the competition, family-friendly scrappy carnival games, local bands and loud-mouthed emcees entertain the crowd. A beer garden sponsored by Lompoc Brewery will have Lompoc brews, local wine and Tazo Tea for purchase. Food Vendors will be on site to satisfy any hunger pangs. A fabulous raffle featuring prizes from local businesses will be take place at the awards ceremony.

Celebrity judges are: Portland City Commissioner Sam Adams, Willamette Week writer Byron Beck, NPR Senior Correspondent Ketzel Levine, art critic Jeff Jahn and local Entertainer Darcelle.

Performances by: Paul Silveria (one man band), Ask Irene (all female string band), the Sprockettes (all female mini-bike dance troop), Digital Knife (high-energy rock), and the scrappiest marching band on the planet - MARCH FOURTH!!

From Rev.Phil

avast! it's a repeat performance of:

Kickass Biking: new bike movie
@ Free Geek
Wed, Aug 23rd @ 7pm
All ages! Free!

hot times and fresh film - free to the people! The response to the last
show was stunning, but several people could not make it so we are
running it again for everyone. It is doubtful that many of these videos
will be seen ever again. whoa!

share the bike love, byo *.*

rev

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Nemo got killed

The U.S. consolate in Mazatlan Mexico is looking for his next of kin.
If you have any clue as to where to ship his body please contact
John Hartman
Vice Consul, American Citizen Services Chief American Consulate
Hermosillo, Mexico tel 52 662 289 3500
HartmanJC@state.gov

Think I'm kidding? (warning! it's from the morgue)
The Undigested

air sick of politics

Wow. What an exercise in "hassle for home land security." Because British cops nabbed some bad guys, the White House had to flex its butt, & tell people to throw out any liquids they may want to take on the plane. With all the searches, & waiting in line, it would probably be easier to WALK across the US (that's what I did).

Is it just me, or does the "Terror Threat" go up every time the President's approval rating is down?

Now, I'm no expert on explosives, but liquid explosive devices are very unstable under the best conditions. They would have to come in seperate containers, and mixed on the spot. Now it's my guess that the whole prossess is involved enough to attract attention, and result in the would-be bomber getting a royal ass beating by the other pasengers.
It would make more sense to check the bags in the cargo hold for bombs and have air martials deal with the cabin.
They don't check luggage anywhere near as close as they check humans.
You would think they would check the thousands of shipping containers that come in and out each day...
...can you say "ticking time bomb?"
Doncha think that the best homeland security option would be to look at countries who don't have to worry about thousands of people wanting to kill them and do what they do.
In my ideal airport the security, guys would just watch you walk by and keep playing guitar...sexy guitar.

Saturday, August 12, 2006

Just checking in

http://www.worldometers.info/

acronymn

Hey Joe,
Where ya goin with that paper in your hand,
Hey Joe,
Where ya goin with that paper in your hand,
Im goin ta change my offiliation, I better relate to the rupublican,

Lieberman, You know what he is about, this guy is almost as ruthless and greedy as the current crooks in office,Joe is our
Country's Upstanding National Treasure.

Friday, August 11, 2006

McNutty and I


I was at work talking to to McNutty, it's always fun, we talk about farting and girl butts when there are other people around but as soon as we are alone it's all about the planet and all the critters who share it with us.
He likes the
Cambrian era
when the animals were so wierd that the researchers don't always know what side of the animal is the top.
The cool part about that time is that most of the wacky creatures that lived then died off (didn't make it) and now all of us are decended from the few survivers.
I love the Devonian era when sharks apear and the fishes split between lobe fins like carp and the rays (sharks).
We ponderthings like "Why do whales have hip bones?"
"What kind of anthropomorphic being would you be?"
"Could the current human administration survive the mass extinction event that the planet needs to evolve new creatures?"
We talk until someone comes up and asks
"Hey smell my finger!"
Then we get back to the normally scheduled goofiness.
Whata bunch of apes.

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Heather bought one of my paintings

"Rubber Chicken Dogfight, and the attack of the yellow baron" now adornes her wall and the money she gave me baught me some much needed guitar equipment.
That was a good deal.



Tuesday, August 08, 2006

What a couple of bruisers

Oil prices are up BAWHAWHAWHAW!

The "benevolent" oil companies have spilled millions of gallons of muck, right?
Just recently, they dumped thousands of gallons right on the Arctic Tundra. I know we all saw it coming, but for Dog's sake, how much more of our miraculous natural world are we going to sacrifice to our oil addiction?
With people lined up head to butt on the freeways in mostly empty vehicles, driving through fast food windows and getting ever sicker. You would think, as citzens of this planet, people would care more.
I'm thinking that humans arn't mature enough to fool with oil, it's killing us in many ways, from El Nino to urban sprawl, and we just belly up to the pump.
It's like teenagers fooling with booze, they get all tore up and never learn respect for it until they wrap a car around a phone pole and kill the prom queen.
It is called "Crude Oil," so I'm not suprized that it takes so many crude forms.
BIKES!
Live near where you work.
Pick up people that are going the same way you are.
Ride a horse. Be nice to it.
Imagine how fast an ambulance could get to an injured person, if the roads were clear of S.U.V.s, and instead filled with pedestrians and bikes who could hear it coming a mile away. Imagine the smell of car free trees and plants.
Street racers would have giant, powerful legs. Monster truck people would look like....well, us.
Only thing is; what would dogs chase?

Monday, August 07, 2006

auditions!

WE need cheerleaders!
Our two cheergirls are moving back home to the east coast and we need to replace them before some shows we have this month.
They must be driven, enthusiastic, sober-ish and friendly.
It would also help if they were cross talented and willing to do stunts.
We also are looking for a drummer who owns a pair of brushes and some other percusion stuff to add to the Pepto Dizmal Clownarchy show.
Car free all around is a must.
Email me
fastclown@veryfast.biz

Franc writes in from Jakartastan


Franc, our Gay, 1940's army clown has been in Indonesia farming bat guano.
He sent some pics of his world and his new country's bike culture.
Why he sent no pics of himself or any monkeys, I don't know.















CLOWNS!

Here's a color calibrated collection of creative Jakarta bikes I've created for y'all. This is only a small sampling of the contraptions that people ride around here on a daily basis, and doesn't include the beautiful pedicabs and dozens of other brightly colored and practical pedal-powered visions to be seen. Think of this as a rough sampling of what you might run into on a daily basis if you lived in this fine smog covered city. Thought I'd send it to you as is instead of never-ever. Maybe it'll give Topher some new things to ponder.

Much love to you all. Think of you whenever we see monkeys performing to the vibes (wakes us up at least once a damn week!) or people swallowing swords.

Oh yeah, the bike in front of the temple is my new wheels. Just like the folder back home!

-FRANC

Friday, August 04, 2006

Been too busy to write you

The crew from the movie "Buskers USA" left today, they spent a few days here with us filming and getting interviews about Busking in Portland.
I did my experiment for them where I dressed as a bum, a disabled person and a classical guitarist for the same amount of time if front of New Seasons on 33rd.
The beggar got two four bucks in 20 min. and the artist got 2 and that was because the giver knew me, my mentally disabled character made nothing. The pro homeless guy made the money but the giver also griped him out telling him "You need to get it together man." He angrily stormed into the grocery store as 2 producers confronted him, showed him the director and several hidden cameras. He got a big grin and signed the release papers.
Portland pays bums and not artists.
It's no surprise, it's human nature. Why do you think The Jesus is always portrayed flayed on a stick rather than the more positive image of the big water walking trick?
 Perceived desperate situations command action, cool stuff is just cool stuff.
Glad I'm not a street performer.
The L.A.film crew was great to hang out with. I will miss them.
Yesterday the executive Producer of the film came out to Portland to see the film's progress and he turned out to be the founder of the Nitty Gritty Dirt Band, he gave the Clown House a banjo lesson but I missed it because I had been called in to work to have a bartender meeting, that sucked.
I missed a banjo lesson from a guy who won a Grammy, to get told things I already know by a wet brained lady that nobody wan'ts to work with. Good times!

So work BS aside (the rest of my job is great) The show biz job is fun and starting to be profitable.
The Circus of Tiny Invisibility blew in to town yesterday from the big easy so be ready for a cool show or two from them and I am doing a show of music at the Know on Alberta on the 15th (my birthday) most of our crew will be at the dreaded Mutantfest so it may just be you, me,Chlorine that night.

Right now the home school collective is in the yard doing yoga, across the street gentrification is buzzing loudly as they demolish the apartments and build condos, the dog is un affected and I'm gonna do some laundry befor work.
Have a good day friend!

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

From McNutty the Clown

I was reading an article on corporate image clean-ups, specifically corporations (like "Phillip Morris") are changing their names (to "Altria") to avoid associations with their terrible doings (a bazillion cases of lung cancer and the lies to deny it).

Read the whole article here, http://www.badcorp.org/articles.cfm?article=6 , if you like.

But, the best re-naming by far has to be,

" Nuclear Engineering, who dispose of toxic and radioactive waste, will distance themselves from the bad record of anything nuclear, with the name US Ecology. Yes, US Ecology will bury the toxic waste near your house now."

Awesome! Makes me proud to have studied years of "ecology" in a "university". I guess the job market probably just opened up a little wider. Where do I apply?