Monday, June 26, 2006

wanna see the first UNICYCLE joust ever?
Anybody know how to tell Linux to do stuff?
I don't know how to tell this thing to create Hyperlinks.
I don't know how to tell this thing to post a photo.
I was mad at my computer for not knowing how to "work and understand my s*it" when it's actually MY job to know ITS sh*t.

Sunday, June 25, 2006

recipie for fire salad

Take one kilo of cocaine, get hooked on some, and sell the rest to an undercover cop, go to prison, get out grab the money you stashed and buy an RV, wait for the people you ripped off to come looking for you, park your RV in front of a House full of camera havin, clowns, stir.
The guy that blew up the RV is in jail and the owner of the RV has found Jesus.

sweet and sour



I'm at the StarE. Rose cafe on Alberta with a disk from the last few months.
Since our home computor got upgraded to Lynix I won't do anything cool so I had to resort.
Here are pics from a gig at The Know on Alberta with guest band The Reanimated.
Don't think the show is all nudeity and us sticking things up peoples butts, we do sell stuff too.

wow double shift

Caffo and I are so tired we are just aching and laughing, bitching and grinnin.
The fair was today, I had to work tonight, Caff just is on 24 hr. baby duty and she also is the only producer of Dawg Snax plus she had to be the voice of the Pepto Dizmal Clownarchy today as we did a complicated routine.
In my daze while at work tonight I had two ideas that even I think are bad, I have about 5 ideas a day, two really good, one that makes me laugh and at least one that is a wild card and a bad one.
here goes, this is more of an observation by the way:
#1 My long deceased grandmother (Eloisa Barrerra) has something in common with the cat that lives down the alley from my work.
Seperated by time, space (and species one is an ape, (Homo Sapiens), the other a cat (fellinius domesticus).
They both look the same when you flash a light at them, Grandmother had glasses and the cat has...well cat eyes and both glow brightly when they are in darkness and are hit in the pupils with any standard beam of light.
I flashed my head light on the kitty and remembered pestering my granny with a flashlight at about age 8 (circa 1979).

#2The cd player at work fell into a pot of soapy water and now won't work, I think we should replace it with a police scanner.

Friday, June 23, 2006

Thursday, June 22, 2006

home work

Google "Curve ball Iraq"...Ijust did.

We have been working the bugs out of a new act for the County Bike Fair, some stuff came up and we had to close some doors and re-tool the program so it would be harder to rip off. We have been making time to work on it every's almost like a circus lives here.
If ya wanna know the details obout the county Bike fair go to

I rode home from work with a bike light tonight, it was kinda my way to have equipment in lue of my second bike lock and chain to dissapear from my bike in the yard. I have no idea where they went.
So the bike light is required by law but I'm from a tough neighborhood and I prefer not to call attention to myself. If I can't avoid a noisy, stinky 2000 pound auto in the middle of the night, then maybe I deserve to be hit.

Monday, June 19, 2006

cut n paste

Saturday, June 17, 2006

fathers day came!
I'm in all lowercase because i'm typing one handed, I got a great's not what you think, it comes in a bowl...not what you think,
for fathers day my peeps gave me 52 oz of cereal (that's over 3 pounds of sugary, diabetic pleasure)(1.47 kg)I'm easy to shop for.
I don't give unpaid product endorsments so the kinds of cereal ryme with
"Poop OOPs"
"Porn Cops" and
Ample Hacks"
I'm very proud.

Friday, June 16, 2006

Results of the B.B.W.&H.D.T.

Bikes washed:17.
that's $17 bucks for the Clown House.
The washers made tips, the bikes got clean, "Low Rent" did some awsome clowning.
The hot dog cart was up and running, I saw more of most of my friends than I would ever want to see.
Winners of the Hot Dice games:
dealer: Mr. Boomer
Clown House Hot Dice Champ: Solid Gold
Second place: "notmetallica"
Solid Gold won a 40 dollar gift certificate to Wild Abandon
2411 SE Belmont St
Portland, OR 97214
Notmetallica won a 20 dollar gift certificate to Zaytoon
2236 NE Alberta,
I still can't upload to my blog for technical reasons but I'll send you a link as soon as I can to great pics.

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Bikini Bike wash

This Thursday is the
CLowN HouSe BikiNi BikE Wash and Hot dice tourney.
If you don't know what Hot Dice (or 10,000 as it's also called)
email me, or better, don't bother me, look it up hahahaha!
5 oclock till dark, sign up at 5, bike wash probly all day.

Monday, June 12, 2006

an 8 year old's diary

Dear Diary
What A day Iv'e had.
I was having trouble fixing my bike so I decided to take the wheel off and bring it to the Clown House two blocks from my house.
I don't know them, but I have seen them help all kinds of people so I invited myself into the compond proper.
I went up the driveway and immediatly saw two pit bull dogs, each as big as me running up and barking at me.
I thrust the bike wheel between myself and the two dogs.
I didn't know what to do at that point so I panicked, I lifted the wheel over my head and while screaming, clobbered the white dog on the head into the ground, then the black dog flanked me (I say "flanked? thats pretty sophisticated for a guy who still hates girls.) and I ran as fast as I could to the closest people I could see through teary eyes.
The clowns quickly surounded me and made sure I was alright, they told me never to just walk into someones yard, they told me that dogs are hard-wired to chase things that are moving and they ALWAYS run faster than me,
I was running around and playing with the dogs in no time, they fixed my bike wheel too. Next time I'm confronted with a dog I'm going to stop and wait for an adult, if there are no adults I will offer the dog my shirt or jacket to bite until I can find another bike wheel.

Saturday, June 10, 2006

look up this stuff cobra.htm

Thursday, June 08, 2006


I have a gig at Free Geek coming up (they have a huge building and host wonderful shows and festivals and finaly after all thiese years I'm going to get to try out my...
"All Dungions and Dragons related" stand up comedy act! Thats 15 mins of hilarity that has the narowest of demographic that understands it .
I think it should be converted into a skit using a D.M. two players and two character players. Maybe someone can build an Orc suit and give it lots of bling, it could be a rapper called MC RPG YO!.

I have a box that's been waiting to be mailed to my acid casualty, boyhood, friend RAY for the longest time (YEARS) I opened it up the other day and it was a cool time capsual full of crap you can only give a South Texan Paint Huffer, plastic army men, shiny things and wierd drawings, porn and a Pepto Dizmal shirt that depicts none of the current line up.
I'm awful at mailing things when both closest post offices are uphill both ways.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Dumpster diver

There is no disgusting trash out there that you can't make worse by adding melon rinds and the seed goo, I just added some to my office trash bin and I'm too grossed out to take it out, thus compounding the situation.
I just ate the melon so it's fresh but mixed in with tin, plastic, old taco wrappers and dead sea monkeys, it looks like it's over a week old...yuck!
Today is my only day off, I was concrerned for two friends named Liz who got hurt and are in the hospital and I hung out with the chillins.
I got a chance to be the dumpster fairy today, lugging recycling and trash from the house and comming back with new crap, I found two dowles that still have the price tags on them, I bet I can use those to make puppet arms of maybe a bike powered shower curtain.
I don't know if it's right or wrong to be human, our species is built to both be really smart and really stupid, we can build a power plant, stop a river and do it with air conditioned offices but in the end, we still will have an ape running the show, so is it the natural curse/blessing to be able to generate so much trash?

Monday, June 05, 2006

breaking news

sorry to post this hear but i dont know how to get in touch with dingo over email.


i hear a member of your house named elizabeth had a bad crash on zoobomb and i wanted to check on her. i was bombing the same night and didnt do hellway with the rest of them so i dont know what really happened. you can get in touch at the website ( or email me at zooboomb @ gmail . com


Monday, June 05, 2006 12:40:58 AM

OK, I'm getting folks tricking in to the Clown House telling me her story of losing control while ZooBombing and wiping out on the freeway on a mini bike.
She busted her head in the front and went into shock, an ambulance happened to be near by and when Molly left her she was stitched up and cohearent.
I just got word that she may not get out of the hospital today, I imagin they want to keep an eye on her.
My guess is she will be fine, she was complaining that her injury is going to scare the kids at her job taking family portraits.

Thursday, June 01, 2006

blast from the past!

I just found this old diary entry from......flashback music...................

1/26/04 Dingo Dizmal - So I'm not trying to be mean but I had a sandwich yesterday and on the wrapper it came in, among other things I saw it was made of pressed ham, say it…. pressed ham
Is this worth eating pressed ham if the poor thing had to succumb to the pilgrim execution called “Pressing” a fate in which the accused is set on the ground with a wooden frame laid across the top and big rocks are lowered on top until the damned do confess.
But that’s neither here nor there.
Doc and I took in the piles of cans that are hidden away in the dark passages of the “Stately Clown Manor” today.
It was a sickening experience.
Doc was riding the newly fixed up “Small-tall” (see bike gallery) with a trailer and I was riding the trike (not shown yet) both full of deposit cans worth 5 cents each and we went to the local grocery store to cash them in.
As soon as we got there, we saw a swarm of people around the half dozen collection machines bitching and fighting over already crushed cans and jockeying for pole position in front of the can collectors.
One troglodyte that stood out was a mullet headed mouth breather who was yelling,
“It don’t say it WONT take plastic” as he stuffed plastic soda bottle that had already been flattened into the unit that clearly said “GLASS on the top. He kept yelling this insane drivel
Doc got in line at began loading the hundreds of deposit cans, one by one into the machine as I guarded the bikes.
Another freak of nature stood around, drunkenly acting like he worked there telling everyone the best way to work the can angle and stealing crushed cans that he happily used to jam the can unit.
A latina woman with a baby in tow scowled at all the people and pushed her way into the fray. It looked like a bunch of seagulls fighting over a bit of chum, I laughed out frikking loud at the chaos, shopping carts dripping with can jizz jackknifed in the door way, a mob of people pushing and shoving in a little room, traffic getting held up, comedy gold!
Then the latina woman cut in front of a guy who had waited for twenty minuets and he lost it yelling at her and screaming like a chimp as she just ignored him and proceeded to jack his spot.
Doc and I made a little scratch for the computer fund and laughed the whole way home.

..flashback music...................That was really fun, I miss Doc Chopper a lot.


Meetings like crazy, planning the Bikini Bike wash, a few little clown gigs and a bunch of bigger clown gigs people leaving and comming.

Hot Dice!!! I have 6 yellow dice the size of golf balls, Iv'e been trying to get a few games on to make a time runthrough but when I'm up to it, nobodys around.

Rumor has it that Slim Chance, Stix and Doc Otis are heading this way soon, They have a show called "Clown Snot Bombs" both shows together for at least a week, wow thats what I love about Circus Season!

Raccoon and Reddish are leaving on some tour thats not ours. replacments?????
We are looking to fill those spots with driven individuals with special talents or ugly birthmarks.

Reddish Radish and Roadkill won't be gone until after the Multinomah County Bike Fair when we exicute "The Ramp Of Death" using the tallest and creakyest bike in our stable "TOWERTALL" this bike requires two photos to be photographed it's so damn tall. That'll be Roadkill Raccoon piloting the beast over T.R.O.D. wich carries a human componant...PINGA!
Speaking of Pinga, he sure has been working hard on his stand up act, he has gone far beyond just staring at the people and breathing.
Now he is up to swearing a string of profanity and insulting the crew.

I'm in email talks with both a documentry crew and some other tv people to do bit parts and stuff, nobody has offered us any dough yet.
I would like to do another Roller Derby, Half time show.
We could do the Ramp of death, some big puppets or stilts and a bunch of comedy, maybe do "Rodeo Poker with tall's all very exiting and it's sad that I had to ask a handful of distracting people to move on, it broke my heart but ya can't argue with results, the show is a lazor focus now (kinda) and my family gets along better when there are no wild cards breaking the game board and losing the dice.

The Rubber Chicken set of Paintings is up at the Alberta street pub, it's a little darkish in there for paintings but they do have little lights on the paintings.