Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Ze top 10 Negative Mind Mantras by Dr. Psychobabble Baggadonuts

1. "I can't do that. "
2. "I never get stuff right. "
3. "I'm too ____ to try that."
4. "It's ____'s fault. "
5. "It would be my luck to have it screw up like that."
6. "I'm not good at ___. "
7. " Sorry, I was just raised like that."
8. "I hate ___."
9. "Nobody understands me."
10. "I suck! Somebody open my vein and grant me the sweet release of death."

Dr. Psycobabble Baggadonuts is the head of the Paranormal Research Dept. In Dairyairdale, Oregon. I asked her via email, "Yo Doc, why iz people so screwed up in the head?" She responded by ripping off the idea I ripped off from Letterman, the top ten list.
She went on to say...

Our brain cells are long and narrow, and they connect together the way roads and highways do.
Once these connections are made, they are used again & again, and we get accustomed to them, and use them out of habit...like a deer track through the forest that is followed by humans and trampled into a wide path. Then, as it gets used more & more, people lay down gravel, and then pavement, and over time it becomes a road.
Whenever we linger on a thought that stops the flow of creative thinking, we are building dead ends into the pathways in our brains.
So how do we unblock those dead ends, so we're not navagating endless mental cul-de-sacs?
POSITIVE MIND MANTRAS!
1. "I'm a good person."
2. "I'm really trying."
3. "This, too, shall pass."

Good luck. And here's a little bonus tip:
Frustration and anger are very motivating. The adrenaline and cortisol released by our brains in these moments get our hearts pumping, and make us want to DO something. We are charged up like a cordless drill, ready to solve the problem. But if we use a freshly-charged drill to put a bunch of useless holes in the wall, or just play with it until the battery dies, then we have wasted the energy.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Ya gotta teach positive mind mantras to children so they have ammunition when they grow up.
You can also get a head start training them up for prison or prostitution by teachinum negative mantras and low self esteem..
I wasn't adopted until I was 24 so I wouldn't really know.

Sorry I forgot your birthday song.